Spring Has Died … So Have These Celebrities

I started off the year deciding I was back to blogging. I didn’t keep up too well. I am not going to promise to do better because, if you know me at all, you know that I am nothing close to consistent. The only thing consistent is that celebrities will die every month. MOT months, I will document this for those of you that are as disturbed as I am. Like I will this month. Sure, you could go to Wikipedia and look it up but … then you have to read about all kinds of prelates and Canadian immunologists. I keep track daily of deaths and give you just the folks I feel are celebrities. You know this already so … today you get a twofer! I missed last month and by the time I got around to it … yeah. Here we go.

February

Dennis Edwards – 74 – Singer The Temptations – Feb. 1

John Mahoney – 77 – Actor Frasier, Say Anything, Striking Distance – Feb. 4

Mickey Jones – 76 – Drummer/Actor Home Improvement, V, Justified – Feb. 7

Reg E. Cathey – 59 – Actor The Wire, House of Cards, Oz – Feb. 9

Craig MacGregor – 68 – Bassist for Foghat – Feb. 9

Wally Moon – 87 – Baseball Player; St. Louis, LA Dodgers – Feb. 9

Vic Damone – 89 – Singer – Feb. 11

Marty Allen – 95 – Actor/comedian – Feb. 12

Louise Latham – 95 – Actress Marnie – Feb. 12

Daryle Singletary – 46 – Country singer – Feb. 12

Victor Milan – 63 – Author Wild Cards, Battle Tech – Feb. 13

Billy Graham – 99 – God’s mouthpiece – Feb. 21

Nanette Fabray – 97 – Actress/Singer – Feb. 22

 

March

David Ogden Stiers – 75 – Actor Mash – March 3

Sir Roger Bannister – 88 – Athlete; first person to run a sub-4 min mile – March 3

Paul Magriel – 71 – 1978 World Backgammon Champion – March 5

Sudan – 45 – Last male northern white Rhino – March 19

Frank Avruch – 89 – Bozo the Clown (Boston)

Charles Lazarus – 94 – Founder of Toys R Us – March 22

Wayne Huizenga – 80 – Former owner of Blockbuster, Miami Dolphins, Florida Panthers – March 22

Saunders Davies – 80 – British Anglican prelate, Bishop of Bangor – March 30

The Update Is Back … But These Celebrities Won’t Be

Welcome to the first Celebrity Death update of 2018. Yeah, I am a day late for January but I wanted to see if winter was going to die quickly too. According to Phil … not going to for 6 weeks. Additionally, we are supposed to get a small butt load of snow here this weekend. Nothing Kardashian sized butt, but enough.

Let’s remember the rules of inclusion. These are people (or otherwise) that I, and I alone, consider to be celebrities. You may or may not agree with me but … it’s my blog … so there. As always, if I miss someone that you think is worthy of inclusion … keep it to yourself. Just kidding! Feel free to add a comment. I like comments. Gives me something to read at work. So, without further ado, let’s get on with this macabre celebration, shall we?

Jon Paul Steuer – 33 – Actor Grace Under Fire, Star Trek TNG – Jan 1

Thomas S. Monson – 90 – President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints – Jan 2

Jerry Van Dyke – 86 – Actor/Comedian; My Mother The Car, Coach – Jan 5

Thomas Bopp – 68 – Astronomer and co-discoverer of Hale-Bopp comet – Jan 5

Dave Toschi – 86 – Police Detective; Chief investigator of the Zodiac Killer case – Jan 6

Doug Young – 98 – Voice Actor; Doggie Daddy, Yippee, Grand Poobah – Jan 7

Donnelly Rhodes – 80 – Actor; Dutch on Soap­ – Jan 8

Milt Rosenberg – 92 – Radio host on WGN. Pretty big deal here – Jan 9

Eddie Clarke – 67 – Guitarist; motorhead – Jan 10

Simon Shelton – 52 – A Teletubbie

Mort Walker – 94 – Cartoonist Beetle Baily, Hi and Lois – Jan 27

Mark Salling – 35 – Actor; Glee – Jan 30

 

That’s it for today campers.  See ya soon.

Death Will Be The Exercise Of Me

I was going to go for a nice long walk today at work. I didn’t. My back hurts and I am lazy. Instead, I decided to exercise my brain and bring back the Celebrity Death Watch for 2018.

Of course, to start off the year, I need to make my predictions. I have had varying success over the years. Mostly, if you are a celebrity, and I put you on the list, you will more than likely make it until the following year. In the past, I have had 3 categories. I think we will go with that again. A brief explanation of the categories:

The Vigodas – He was on everyone’s list for years. Although he has passed, we will keep these “They’re still alive?” picks named after him. Mostly these are top picks from years past that are STILL hanging on.

Top Picks – Most likely. Usually on most lists.

Out On A Ledge – Unlikely to happen but … who knows.

I am glad I missed out on my predictions last year because … DAMN! There were so many out of left field that it boggled the mind. Let’s get this started though and move on.

 

The Vigodas – Some new ones added as some old ones have dropped off the list … literally.

Billy Graham – Pushing 100 and still pushing buttons. I think this might be the year.

Kirk Douglas – As of last month he was 101! He’s got himself a younger wife though (98) so she might be too much for him to handle

Ian McKellen – While not as old as the others … have you seen him lately?

Olivia de Havilland – 101 and going strong?

Herman Wouk – 102. I hear he wrote his own obit 4 years ago.

Carol Channing – Amazingly, her voice is getting deeper.

 

Top Picks

Liza Minnelli – While she isn’t that old comparatively, she hasn’t been doing well lately.

Bob Barker – All the spaying and neutering will finally catch up to him.

Stan Lee – I hate to say it but … Excelsior!

Jimmy Carter – The current state of affairs will be just too much.

Mel Brooks – Putting him on so that he’s got at least another year or 2!

Tim Curry – Just a feeling I got.

Pierre Cardin – Fashion is fleeting … right?

Steven Hawking – He has been making some bold statements lately. Thinking he is doing is to laugh at us soon.

 

Out On A Ledge

Charlie Sheen – The odds are stacked against him on so many levels.

Don Johnson – He hasn’t made a record in years.

Axl Rose – Obvious, isn’t it?

Jenny McCarthy – Plastic surgery accident while eating a Wahlburger.

All YouTube “stars” – Big pipe dream on that one but, still …

Hoda Kotb – She will go into withdraw from not being able to drink the first 3 hours of the Today Show

Going to end it here before I start getting into areas that cause WAY too much derision. And before I start using more words like derision. As always, if you have some picks of your own … drop a comment and save them for posterity. We can go back and look at the end of the year!

He’s Not Just Hiding In The Bathroom

While I have been lax in producing a Celebrity Death prediction list this year, I have still been following the trend this month. Today, I am extremely distraught. I am heartbroken as the one constant, the one name I began my list writing with every year … has passed. Abe … who has died many times over the years … has died.

I am truly devastated by this. Not because I knew him. Not because he was taken far too early. I am heartbroken because, now that he is gone, some jack wad TV executive will get a hair up his ass to “reboot” Fish or Barney Miller as a movie and will destroy the fond memories of Abe.

Rest In Peace Mr. Abe Vigoda. May you always be remembered for anything besides Look Who’s Talking.

“We are the children of children and we live as we are shown.” – Chief of the Waponis

Bring Out Your Dead … 2015 Celebrity Death Predictions

They’re not dead yet! But they will be soon, if the predictions I make here today have any merit that is. While others are celebrating the new year and making positive steps toward changing their lives, I am taking macabre pleasure in trying to figure out who will make the biggest changes this year.

As in previous years, I am going to divide this up into a few categories. The perennials, the standard predictions and instead of the “fantasy picks” I am going to go with “out on the ledge” since I realized just how sick calling it fantasy was. We did have a few come off the list this past year as “successful” predictions. Eli Wallach & Shirley Temple left us this year so they won’t be back … literally. Also at the suggestion of my friend David Mazzie, I am renaming the “they just keep hanging on category” the “Vigodas”. If you don’t know why, then shame on you. Well, shall we get to it?

We will start with:

The Vigodas – Named after the most speculated death in the history of celebrity deaths, these are the celebs that are on someone’s list every year.

Abe Vigoda – His category, he needs to be on the list. I don’t want to take him off because as soon as I do, he will die. And I don’t want him to die.

Zsa Zsa Gabor – Really? How can she still be alive?!?!

Billy Graham – Keeping him in the mix.

Kirk Douglas – If the prediction is good enough for People, it is good enough for me to keep him on the list.

Al Molinaro – Yup, still kicking and eating Encore.

Christopher Lee – Moving into the Abes as this is his 2^nd year in a row.

Ian McKellan – Staying on the list. The Hobbits are done, the lord got his ring and Michael Fassbender fits into his helmet.Oh yeah, he’s old.

 

This Year’s Top Picks – These are the slam dunks.

Herman Wouk – He is an author and he is old. 100 I believe. For you young’uns out there, he wrote books on paper. They were pretty good too. Look him up.

Olivia de Havilland – Not sure the last time I had her on the list but she is going back on.

George Bush Senior – Coming back into the fray given his recent health issues.

Valerie Harper – While she has beat all the odds so far, I am not sure it will last.

Vera Lynn – Does anybody here remember her? Extra points if you do.

Carl Reiner – I didn’t know he was 92! Comedy legend.

Carol Channing – Her voice has already cause thousands of deadly strokes.

Joseph Wapner – Yup, the man that started it all in the people court. He will bang his gavel for the last time this year.

Christopher Lloyd – This is the year of all the BTTF 2 stuff. Unfortunately, the rejuvenation isn’t real.

Maggie Smith – Hogwarts has closed and Downton Abbey is boring.

 

Out On A Ledge – These probably won’t happen but that is what is so unpredictable obout predictions.

Justin Bieber – I have to have him on here. One of these days the stupid things he does will bite him in the ass.

Steve Buscemi – I have to have a real shocker in here. No other reason.

Richard Grieco – Did you know he was still alive? While they didn’t let him in the 21 Jump Street movie, they DID let him in the sequel He has been vindicated and can die a happy “actor”.

Morgan Freeman – He will somehow deliver his own eulogy … from the grave oooooooooooo.

Tara Reid – Killed in a mishap on the set of Sharknado 4

Sears/Kmart – I mean … come on.

 

Of course I could go on and on but I think I will leave it here. I now have a record of 2 correct predictions to beat. As always, if you feel like adding any, please add them in the comments. Remember to tune in each month (mostly) for the ongoing recap.

 

 

2014 Is Dead … So Are These Celebs

Yes boys & girls, this is the last dead celebrity update for this year. It seems that this past year has been full of a lot of surprises in the celebrity death front. I am really going to have to think about the predictions for next year. It isn’t a dead on science anymore. See what I did there? Ok, in order get the crickets to stop chirping, we will get right to it.

Mary Ann Mobley – 77 – Actress, Miss America – Dec. 9

Judy Baar Topinka – Illinois Comptroller – Dec. 10

Robert Taylor – 70 – Animator/Director The Nine Lives of Fritz the Cat – Dec. 11

Norman Bridwell – 86 – Author Clifford the Big Red Dog – Dec. 12

Booth Coleman – 91 – Actor, Dr. Zaius Planet of the Apes (original) – Dec. 15

Christine Cavanaugh – 51 – Voice Actor; Rugrats, Dexter’s Laboratory – Dec. 22

Joe Cocker – 70 – Singer – Dec. 22

Edward Hermann – 71 – Actor; Gilmore Girls, Lost Boys) – Dec. 31

Think that is everyone. Have to admit, I dozed off a few times typing this … New Year’s day and all. I will be putting together my predictions for the coming year in the next day or so … probably tomorrow at work.

Celebrity Death Watch – They Come In Threes

Three months that is. Sorry I have slacked off for so long. Been crazy this summer. Not going to get into all kinds of discussion, let’s just get right to it. Going to be a long read with 3 months to catch up on. Forgive me if I miss anyone, 3 months is a lot of dead celebs to remember. There was one that comes off the perennials list … Eli Wallach passed on. I am getting better at this prediction thing. Not sure if that is a good or bad thing.

 

June

Ann B. Davis – 88 – Alice on The Brady Bunch – June 1

Don Zimmer – 83 – Baseball player, & manager of the CUBS – June 4

James McNair – 63 – writer & comedian – June 7

Rick Mayall – 56 – Comedian/Actor The Young Ones – June 9

Ruby Dee – 91 – Actress – June 11

Casey Kasem – 82 – Voice of Shaggy – June 15

Daniel Keyes – 86 – Author Flowers for Algernon June 15

Eli Wallach – 98 – Actor The Good, The Bad and the Ugly – June 24

Mary Rodgers – 83 – Author Freaky Friday June 26

Meshach Taylor – 67 – Actor Designing Women, Mannequin – June 28

 

July

Eileen Ford – 92 – co-founder of Ford Models – July 9

Curt Gentry – 83 – Author Helter Skelter – July 10

Tommy Ramone – 65 – The Ramones – July 11

Thomas Berger – 89 Author Little Big Man – July 13

Johnny Winter – 70 – Blues guitarist – July 16

Elaine Stritch – 89 – Actress – July 17

James Garner – 86 – Actor The Rockford Files, Maverick – July 19

Thor-Eirik Gulbrandsen Mykland – 74 – Don’t know who he is but his name is Thor – July 25

James Shigeta – 85 – Actor Die Hard – July 28

Dick Smith – 92 – Makeup artist Godfather, Exocist, Amedeus – July 30

 

August

James Brady – 73 – Press Secretary, shot during Regan assasination attempt – August 4

Marilyn Burns – 65 – Actress The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (original) – August 5

Charles Keating – 72 – Actor All My Children, Another World – August 8

Robin Williams – 63 – Actor/Comedian – August 11

Lauren Bacall – 90 – Actress – August 12

Stephen Lee – 58 – Actor – WarGames, La Bamba – August 14

Don Pardo – 96 – Announcer Saturday Night Live – August 18

James Foley – 40 – Photojournalist – August 19

John Sperling – 93 – Founder, University of Phoenix – August 22

Richard Attenborough – 90 – Actor/Director/Producer – August 24

Jimi Jamison – 63 – Singer Survivor – August 31

Celebrity Deaths – March

Simple title because of a simple update … No celebrities or anyone close to being famous died in March.

Thank you and good day.

Celebrity Death Watch 2014 – It’s A Dead Man’s Party

It’s a new year, and it is time to make a new list. I have to go back and see if any of my predictions for last year were correct. I have not been as diligent with the dead as I would have liked. However, I REALLY think that this year is going to be a year of surprises in the world of death. There will be no free passes, no monkey’s taking over bodies and no new Brendan Fraser movies. This has nothing to do with anything other than I watched Monkeybone recently. There are a LOT of people that I think SHOULD be on this list. Let’s not mince words here … there are some celebs that should just die already. Once again, I have my obvious choices and fantasy league. I am also going to take some of the perennials off of the “obvious” list and place them in their own category of “They Just Keep Hanging On”. I think I will keep that one short for the inaugural run. Ok, here we go!

We will start with:

They Just Keep Hanging On – Those who are always on the list

Zsa Zsa Gabor – I don’t know what to say. She is pushing 100 by some accounts and she is still alive … as far as we know. I do think she is about to be named “Bob” if you throw her in a lake but, as far as any government can figure out, she is still alive. 5 years on the list.

Abe Vigoda – By no means do I want him gone, he is my inspiration, however, I have to add him into this section because he has been on EVERY celebrity death watch list since before he was born.

Eli Wallach – Yup, he is still around. 98 years. He may not be good or bad anymore but I am pretty sure he is ugly.

Kirk Douglas – His chin cleft has been around longer than the Grand Canyon.

Billy Graham – Maybe there is something to this church stuff?

Due to die – New predictions or not perennial favorites

Gene Wilder – New to the list this year is Mel Brooks’ buddy and long time star of many of Mel’s movies. The comic genius that he is, is looking not all that great. He may be joining Gilda this year at some point.

Mel Brooks – He is not quite the 2000 year old man yet, and the Schwartz is with him, he is slowing down and hasn’t done much in the last few years. The way back machine won’t be saving him this year.

Hal Holbrook – Making a return appearance … and what an appearance he is. Just look at him. That explains why HE is on the list.

Christopher Lee – He may not actually die, he may just turn into a vampire … or move to the Shire.

Betty White – While we haven’t had to be inundated by her lately, she might still just be famous enough that it would be a shocker.

Martin Landau – He drools when he talks. Although, he is still making movies.

Shirley Temple – Her good ship Lollipop is going to sink.

Ian McKellan – Super busy gay old man is going to over exert himself … somehow … and his future days will past before his eyes.

Peter Fonda – Why not?

Al Pacino – I just have a weird feeling about this one. Can’t explain it.

Robert Loggia – I have wanted him dead ever since I got stuck behind him, Robert Loggia, at the airport I have wanted him gone. Oh wait, that wasn’t me. Ok, so maybe I don’t want him dead but someone else must. That is a harbinger.

Fantasy Picks – I kinda hate these because they are so unlikely that one day one of these will come true and I will feel bad.

Miley Cyrus – She is going to twerk herself to death. Yeah, I went for the cheap and easy one.

Justin Bieber – I have to keep him on here just because he needs to be. Might be the one exception to my opening statement about this list.

Homer Simpson – Hot on the heels of Brian getting killed off on Family Guy, they are going to try the same thing on The Simpsons. Homer will die and come back to life … as Peter Griffin.

John Travolta – He will leave Scientology and never be heard from again.

Jennifer Lawrence – She is far too good to be true. She is going to die during an autoerotic asphyxiation thing.

Danny Elfman – No reason other than I had to tie the title into the list somehow.

I am going to stop right there because I am realizing how macabre this thing is. That and I have a real bad headache. You know the kind that are at the base of the back of your skull and every time you try to look up or down it feels like your spine is being yanked out by the Predator … yeah, one of those. That is what 13 inches gets ya these days.

I may add to the list, or, feel free to add some yourself. I know there are many other sick individuals like myself out there.

The Worst Of The Best Of The Worst Lists Of … Oh Whatever

Once again the geniuses at VIMB have decided to be totally innovative and do absolutely nothing different from anyone else. In fact, we may even be duplicating things we have done in the past. We are really just too lazy to go back and look. (and we wonder why we won’t get hired by Cracked.com.)

While I was at work watching Christmas Vacation today, I began to think of all of the Christmas specials that have been made. I also thought about the ones that should not have been made in that list. I then thought that perhaps I should be working instead of all this thinking. In any case, I thought it would be fun to go back and do some more tribute to Letterman and some top 10 listage for the holidays. So, from the home office in Shitterton, Dorset, England:

The top 10 worst ideas I could think of for Christmas specials at 10 o’clock at night

10. I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas: Starring Megyn Kelly and George Zimmerman

9. The Tea Party Saves Santa

8. Justin Bieber and the Brazilian National Choir Sing Mannheim Steamroller’s Greatest Hits

7. Kanye’s Holiday Salute To The Troops

6. Santa’s Celebrity Sober House: Starring Lindsay Lohan, Amanda Bynes, Charlie Sheen and Lamar Odom. With special guest Chris Brown as “the enforcer”.

5. Thamsanqa Jantjie: A Sign Language Holiday Sing-A-Long

4. My Favorite Holiday Cakes With David Mazzie

3. 101 Ways To Kill A Shelf Elf

2. Reindeer Dynasty

And the #1 worst idea I could think of for a Christmas special at 10 o’clock at night …

1. Star Wars Holiday Special