Death Will Be The Exercise Of Me

I was going to go for a nice long walk today at work. I didn’t. My back hurts and I am lazy. Instead, I decided to exercise my brain and bring back the Celebrity Death Watch for 2018.

Of course, to start off the year, I need to make my predictions. I have had varying success over the years. Mostly, if you are a celebrity, and I put you on the list, you will more than likely make it until the following year. In the past, I have had 3 categories. I think we will go with that again. A brief explanation of the categories:

The Vigodas – He was on everyone’s list for years. Although he has passed, we will keep these “They’re still alive?” picks named after him. Mostly these are top picks from years past that are STILL hanging on.

Top Picks – Most likely. Usually on most lists.

Out On A Ledge – Unlikely to happen but … who knows.

I am glad I missed out on my predictions last year because … DAMN! There were so many out of left field that it boggled the mind. Let’s get this started though and move on.

 

The Vigodas – Some new ones added as some old ones have dropped off the list … literally.

Billy Graham – Pushing 100 and still pushing buttons. I think this might be the year.

Kirk Douglas – As of last month he was 101! He’s got himself a younger wife though (98) so she might be too much for him to handle

Ian McKellen – While not as old as the others … have you seen him lately?

Olivia de Havilland – 101 and going strong?

Herman Wouk – 102. I hear he wrote his own obit 4 years ago.

Carol Channing – Amazingly, her voice is getting deeper.

 

Top Picks

Liza Minnelli – While she isn’t that old comparatively, she hasn’t been doing well lately.

Bob Barker – All the spaying and neutering will finally catch up to him.

Stan Lee – I hate to say it but … Excelsior!

Jimmy Carter – The current state of affairs will be just too much.

Mel Brooks – Putting him on so that he’s got at least another year or 2!

Tim Curry – Just a feeling I got.

Pierre Cardin – Fashion is fleeting … right?

Steven Hawking – He has been making some bold statements lately. Thinking he is doing is to laugh at us soon.

 

Out On A Ledge

Charlie Sheen – The odds are stacked against him on so many levels.

Don Johnson – He hasn’t made a record in years.

Axl Rose – Obvious, isn’t it?

Jenny McCarthy – Plastic surgery accident while eating a Wahlburger.

All YouTube “stars” – Big pipe dream on that one but, still …

Hoda Kotb – She will go into withdraw from not being able to drink the first 3 hours of the Today Show

Going to end it here before I start getting into areas that cause WAY too much derision. And before I start using more words like derision. As always, if you have some picks of your own … drop a comment and save them for posterity. We can go back and look at the end of the year!

Advertisement

He’s Not Just Hiding In The Bathroom

While I have been lax in producing a Celebrity Death prediction list this year, I have still been following the trend this month. Today, I am extremely distraught. I am heartbroken as the one constant, the one name I began my list writing with every year … has passed. Abe … who has died many times over the years … has died.

I am truly devastated by this. Not because I knew him. Not because he was taken far too early. I am heartbroken because, now that he is gone, some jack wad TV executive will get a hair up his ass to “reboot” Fish or Barney Miller as a movie and will destroy the fond memories of Abe.

Rest In Peace Mr. Abe Vigoda. May you always be remembered for anything besides Look Who’s Talking.

“We are the children of children and we live as we are shown.” – Chief of the Waponis

Celebrity Deaths – A Long Time In The Works

Greetings and salutations to you all. It seems like it has been approximately 3 months and 10 days since my last post. I apologize for that. I was in a bizarre Hot Pocket accident … no, it was a one in a million fluke while Yak shaving in Nepal … no, I have just been lazy as of late. I would say I will try to change but … who are we kidding, right? In those months, a lot of famous folks have died. Since I haven’t done it (posting the dead celebs list) in so long, I will try to stick to the high points. Or are they low points? Regardless … I am going to miss a lot I think since it is hard to remember 3 months of dead guys. I will do my best though.

March

Minnie Minoso – 92 – Baseball player, Chicago White Sox – March 1

Daniel von Bargen – 64 – Mr. Kruger on Seinfeld – March 1

Sam Simon – 59 – Writer/producer/director (The Simpsons, Cheers, Drew Carey Show) – March 8

Gene Gene the Dancing Machine – 82 – Performer on The Gong Show – March 9

A.J. Pero – 55 – Drummer; Twisted Sister – March 20

Perro Aguayo Jr. – 35 – Mexican wrestler (killed in ring by Rey Mysterio) – March 21

Alberta Watson – 60 – Actress; 24, La Femme Nikita – March 21

April

Richard Dysart – 86 – Actor; LA Law, Wall Street – April 5

James Best – 88 – Rosco P. Coltrane – April 6

Ben Powers – 64 – Keith on Good Times – April 6

Stan Freberg – 88 – Cartoon legend – April 7

Mario Wallenda – 74 – Tight rope walker – April 12

Homaro Cantu – 38 – Chef – April 14

Percy Sledge – 73 – Singer – April 14

Betty Willis – 91 – Designer of the Las Vegas sign – April 19

Doug Buffone – 70 – Chicago Bear – April 20

Frankie Lee – 73 – Blues singer – April 24

Suzanne Crough – 52 – Tracy Partridge – April 27

Verne Gagne – 59 – Professional wrestler – April 27

Jack Ely – 71 – Singer Louie Louie – April 28

Jean Nidetch – 91 – Founder of Weight Watchers – April 29

Ben E. King – 76 – Singer Stand By Me – April 30

May

Grace Lee Whitney – 85 – Yeoman Janice Rand; Star Trek:TOS – May 2

B.B. King – 89 – Blues god – May 14

John Stephenson – 91 – Voice Actor; Benton Quest, Mr. Slate, Blubber Bear – May 15

Anne Meara – 85 – Comedian – May 23

This is what I remember. Not sure why May has suck a mental block as it was the most recent month … meh. See you all again soon!

Celebrity Deaths – They’re Still Dyin’ Even If I Forgot To Mention It

This year is already getting away from me. I forgot to do January deaths and now I plum near forgot to get the list for Feb. So, to get back on track, I have no clever witticisms, smart alec remarks or anything else. Let’s just view the best in memoriam list this side of the Oscars with this 2 fer.

 

January

Mario Cuomo – 82 – Governor of NY – Jan. 1

Donna Douglas – 82 – Ellie Mae Clampett – Jan 1

Stuart Scott – 49 – Sports journalist – Jan 4

Rod Taylor – 84 – Actor Time Machine, Inglourious Basterds – Jan 7

Curtis Lee – 75 – Singer Pretty Little Angel Eyes – Jan 8

Taylor Negron – 57 – Actor Fast Times at Ridgemont High – Jan 10

Melvin Gordon – 95 – CEO of Tootsie Roll – Jan 20

Ernie Banks – 83 – Mr. Cub – Jan 23

Danny McCulloch – 69 – Bassist The Animals – Jan 29

 

February

Stewart Stern – 92 – Screenwriter Rebel Without a Cause, Sybil – Feb 2

Richard Bonehill – 67 – Lando’s co-pilot in Return of the Jedi – Feb 4

Dave Corriveau – 63 – Co-founder of Dave & Buster’s – Feb 7

Jerry Tarkanian – 84 – HOF Basketball coach – Feb 11

Bob Simon – 73 – Journalist 60 Minutes – Feb 11

Gary Owens – 80 – TV Announcer – Feb 12

Louis Jourdan – 93 – Actor Swamp Thing – Feb 14

Lesley Gore – 68 – Singer It’s my Party, Judy’s Turn to Cry – Feb 16

Harris Wittels – 30 – Writer Parks & Rec – Feb 19

Leonard Nimoy – 83 – Spock – Feb 27

 

And Abe Vigoda is still alive.

Celebrity Death Watch November

I apologize for the non-creative title this time around. Work pretty much sucks lately and it has sucked my motivation for just about everything right out of me. Despite that, I need to get the death list out because … Celebrity deaths! I’m saving my energy for the fast approaching year end wrap up and next year’s predictions. Needless to say, I really didn’t pay much attention this month so, here is what I remember.

 

Big Bank Hank – 58 – Rapper The Sugar Hill Gang – Nov. 11

Glen A. Larson – 77 – writer/producer of the best 70s & 80s tv shows ever – Nov. 14

Jane Byrne – 81 – First female mayor of Chicago – Nov. 14

Pat Quinn – 71 – NHL Coach Flyers, Leafs, Canucks – Nov. 23

Marion Barry – 78 – Mayor of D.C and coke enthusiast – Nov. 23

 

I’ll be in a better mood for the predictions and yada yada yada. I need a good airing of grievances to get me turned around me thinks.

 

Día De Los Muertos Famosos: Day Of Dead Celebrities

Preface: I wrote this the other night before I got sick. Just realized now I never posted it. Still not feeling great so this is the best update I got.

 

Another twofer this time around. I make no apologies. I make no promises to get better at this time. I just hope you keep reading because I need to renew my domain in January and I would hate to waste it. Because if there is one thing you can count on is death and taxes … and me writing about death … eventually. Anyway, let’s bury this thing. The Hawks are on and this is hard enough without the distractions of a game.

 

September

Zeus – 5 – Great Dane; world’s tallest dog – Sept. 3

Roy Leonard – 83 – Radio Personality – Sept. 4

Joan Rivers – 81 – Comedienne & actress – Sept. 4

Richard Kiel – 10 – Actor; Jaws from James Bond – Sept. 10

Bob Crewe – 82 – Songwriter Big Girls Don’t Cry, Rag Doll – Sept. 11

Zelda – 11ish – Wild turkey, yes a turkey – Sept 26

 

October

Paul Revere – 76 – Paul Revere & the Raiders – Oct. 4

Jan Hooks – 57 – Actress Saturday Night Live – Oct. 9

Elizabeth Norment – 61 – Actress House of Cards – Oct. 13

Elizabeth Peña – 55 – Actress Incredibles, Rush Hour – Oct. 14

Oscar de la Renta – 82 – Fashion designer – Oct. 20

Ox Baker – 80 – Wrestler and Actor Escape From New York – Oct. 20

Ben Bradlee – 93 – Journalist – Oct. 21

Marcia Strassman – 66 – Mrs. Kotter – Oct. 24

Death, Dying & Celebrity

Not surprising that I had a lot of visits today from the search of “Celebrity Death”. I am a little surprised that I had as many hits as I did since I have been rather lax updating the death watch. I know why the search was made though.

I want to make clear that I do a celebrity death watch, in part to poke a little fun at the ridiculous amount of attention that we pay to celebrities of all levels. I also do it to pay respect to those who do deserve a shout out.

While today the world is talking about Robin Williams and Lauren Bacall, lets remember that while millions of people are mourning their passing, there are other who pass on that are not famous to the world at large. They are however just as famous to the people they touched. They will not get news coverage for a week after they die. They will not trend on Twitter or Facebook. They WILL be missed.

 

Let’s just remember not to get too crazy. Idol mourning is just as insane as idol worship.

May’s Dead Celebrities – Get ‘Em In The Ground Before It Gets Hot!

In the good old summer TIME! I don’t know what song that is (I think it’s from a movie) but a local car dealer Harry Schmerler used to sing that one line in one of his commercials for some reason. He called himself the singing Ford dealer. He is long since gone and he really has nothing to do with this other than the summertime line. Summertime is finally fast approaching. The celebs that kicked in May got to experience their very last non-spring. Good thing they took off before the warm weather. Heat and dead bodies is almost as good a combo as snow and the color yellow. Let’s get to it shall we?

Efrem Zimbalist Jr. – 95 – Actor 77 Sunset Strip – May 2

Dick Ayers – 90 Comic book artist Fantastic Four, Ghost Rider – May 4

Jackie Lyn Taylor – 90 – Actress Our Gang – May 5

Tony Genaro – 72 – Actor Tremors, Scorpion King – May 7

Harry Potter – 72 – Australian TV journalist (guess the wizard thing didn’t work out) – May 8

Roger L. Easton – 93 – inventor of GPS – May 8

Jeb Stuart Magruder – 79 – Nixon Aide during Watergate – May 11

Vernon Lewis – 36 – stuntman/comedian – May 11

H.R. Giger – 74 – Artist designer of Alien – May 12

Allan Folsom – 72 – Author The Day After Tomorrow – May 16

Gordon Willis – 82 – Cinematographer Gofather series, Annie Hall – May 18

Jerry Vale – 83 – Singer, Actor – May 18

Donald Levine – 86 – Developed the first action figure – May 22

Manuel Uribe – 48 – World’s third heaviest person – May 26

Maya Angelou – 86 – Author, poet, singer – May 28

Butler Blue 1 – 13 – American Bulldog mascot for Butler University – May 30

 

At least May was technically spring so there should have been a lot of reproducing to replace these fallen famous folks.

 

Celebrity Deaths In April – I Don’t Have A Catchy Title

Well, February, I mean April has finally passed, as well as a number of celebrities this month. The Blackhawks are on so I really can’t think of much else to say. Sorry … but it is playoff hockey.

 

Lucy Hood – 56 – President of the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences – April 2

Arthur Smith – 93 – Songwriter of Dueling Banjos – April 3

John Pinette – 50 – Comedian – April 5

Mickey Rooney – 93 – His 5^th wife Barbara was murrrrrrdered – April 6

Peaches Geldof – 25 – Daughter of Bob Geldof – April 7

The Ultimate Warrior – 54 – Professional wrestler – April 8

Shane Gibson – 35 – Guitarist Korn – April 15

GOAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lee Marshall – 60ish – Voice of Tony the Tiger – April 26

DJ E-Z Rock – 46 – Musician – April 27

Bob Hoskins – 71 – Actor Who Framed Roger Rabbit; Hook – April 29

 

Like I said, Blackhawks are on. I am a little distracted but they are winning 1 – 0 at the end of the first. Sorry if I missed anyone.

 

GO HAWKS!

March Celebrity Deaths, They Didn’t Fool Anyone

Now that it is April 2^nd, I can tell you that I was oh so clever and said no one famous died in March as an April Fools joke. HAHAHA!

Right. Now let’s get on to what we are really here for … dead folks who were famous when they weren’t dead. I am getting more and more straightforward on these. Just seems like something I need to do lately. Here we go with those who went.

 

David Brenner – 78 – Comedian – March 15

Fred Phelps – 84 – Hat monger – March 19

Ken Forsse – 77 – Inventor of Teddy Ruxpin – March 19

James Rebhorn – 65 – Actor Independence Day, Homeland – March 21

Kate O’Mara – 74 – Actress Doctor Who, Dynasty – March 30

H. Richard Black – 92 – Artist , created Smokey Bear and Mr. Clean – March 30

Frankie Knuckles – 59 – Godfather of house music – March 31

Charles Keating – 90 – Bad guy in savings & loan crisis – March 31

 

Ok, so there weren’t a lot of deaths but there were at least some. Until next time.