A Half A Year Not Remembered

I would like to say that the title means I was drunk for half the year. Nope. Really, it means that I haven’t posted since June so there isn’t much to remember. I am back because I wanted to make sure that I got one last post in for the year. I like cutting it close. This isn’t going to be a top ten list, or a year in review. I don’t want to risk overusing those themes and getting banished from the internet. I didn’t even know that was possible.

What I WAS going to do, was make a post of the words/phrases that have been so overused they made a “banished list”.

It became problematic however, when I saw what some of the words were. Some of them I never heard of so I have no hope of using them. I don’t know what “manspreading” is, but I am pretty sure I have been doing that for at least the last 10 years. Doing it right now in fact as I sit here typing and eating caramel corn from Garret’s.

I mean, do you really need to be a stakeholder in some price point to be able to break the internet with your bae (still not sure what that one means)?

So, if anyone wants to call a presser and we can walk it back to the vape point where we find the secret sauce that will start the conversation.

As it is getting close to that time, I would like to wish you all a very happy New Year. I would stay longer but the physicality of writing this is taxing. I hope that everyone you know is giving you life throughout the new year. I think. I don’t really know what that means either.

Be sure to tune in next week at some point as I WILL be doing my celebrity death predictions for the year. I MIGHT even do a quick re-cap on what transpired … or who Expired last year.

In the immortal words of Frank Bartles … “Thank you for your support.”

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Celebrity Deaths – A Long Time In The Works

Greetings and salutations to you all. It seems like it has been approximately 3 months and 10 days since my last post. I apologize for that. I was in a bizarre Hot Pocket accident … no, it was a one in a million fluke while Yak shaving in Nepal … no, I have just been lazy as of late. I would say I will try to change but … who are we kidding, right? In those months, a lot of famous folks have died. Since I haven’t done it (posting the dead celebs list) in so long, I will try to stick to the high points. Or are they low points? Regardless … I am going to miss a lot I think since it is hard to remember 3 months of dead guys. I will do my best though.

March

Minnie Minoso – 92 – Baseball player, Chicago White Sox – March 1

Daniel von Bargen – 64 – Mr. Kruger on Seinfeld – March 1

Sam Simon – 59 – Writer/producer/director (The Simpsons, Cheers, Drew Carey Show) – March 8

Gene Gene the Dancing Machine – 82 – Performer on The Gong Show – March 9

A.J. Pero – 55 – Drummer; Twisted Sister – March 20

Perro Aguayo Jr. – 35 – Mexican wrestler (killed in ring by Rey Mysterio) – March 21

Alberta Watson – 60 – Actress; 24, La Femme Nikita – March 21

April

Richard Dysart – 86 – Actor; LA Law, Wall Street – April 5

James Best – 88 – Rosco P. Coltrane – April 6

Ben Powers – 64 – Keith on Good Times – April 6

Stan Freberg – 88 – Cartoon legend – April 7

Mario Wallenda – 74 – Tight rope walker – April 12

Homaro Cantu – 38 – Chef – April 14

Percy Sledge – 73 – Singer – April 14

Betty Willis – 91 – Designer of the Las Vegas sign – April 19

Doug Buffone – 70 – Chicago Bear – April 20

Frankie Lee – 73 – Blues singer – April 24

Suzanne Crough – 52 – Tracy Partridge – April 27

Verne Gagne – 59 – Professional wrestler – April 27

Jack Ely – 71 – Singer Louie Louie – April 28

Jean Nidetch – 91 – Founder of Weight Watchers – April 29

Ben E. King – 76 – Singer Stand By Me – April 30

May

Grace Lee Whitney – 85 – Yeoman Janice Rand; Star Trek:TOS – May 2

B.B. King – 89 – Blues god – May 14

John Stephenson – 91 – Voice Actor; Benton Quest, Mr. Slate, Blubber Bear – May 15

Anne Meara – 85 – Comedian – May 23

This is what I remember. Not sure why May has suck a mental block as it was the most recent month … meh. See you all again soon!

Celebrity Death Watch November

I apologize for the non-creative title this time around. Work pretty much sucks lately and it has sucked my motivation for just about everything right out of me. Despite that, I need to get the death list out because … Celebrity deaths! I’m saving my energy for the fast approaching year end wrap up and next year’s predictions. Needless to say, I really didn’t pay much attention this month so, here is what I remember.

 

Big Bank Hank – 58 – Rapper The Sugar Hill Gang – Nov. 11

Glen A. Larson – 77 – writer/producer of the best 70s & 80s tv shows ever – Nov. 14

Jane Byrne – 81 – First female mayor of Chicago – Nov. 14

Pat Quinn – 71 – NHL Coach Flyers, Leafs, Canucks – Nov. 23

Marion Barry – 78 – Mayor of D.C and coke enthusiast – Nov. 23

 

I’ll be in a better mood for the predictions and yada yada yada. I need a good airing of grievances to get me turned around me thinks.

 

Hey Hey! Holy Mackerel! VOTE!

For those of you that don’t know, I live in northern Illinois. That means that I am a fan of the Chicago Cubs. I am also a fan of a local band named Modern Day Romeos. One of my best friends is the lead singer for the band. He is also my daughter’s Godfather. The last few years, the Chicago Cubs, in conjunction with WGN Radio, (they are the station that broadcasts the Cubs games) have had a contest for bands to submit entries to be the theme song for the team that year. It gets played on the radio, they get to perform it at opening day, it is a pretty big deal. MDR has submitted a song. It is a good song. Out of hundreds of songs submitted, they made the top three. Now, people need to vote for their song.

You can vote every day (voting is open until March 14^th). You can vote from multiple devices the same day. Just vote! Please. It would be pretty cool to get some national and international votes as well. I know there are people reading this from exotic places … like New Jersey. Remember, they are Modern Day Romeos and their song is “Hey Hey!”

Here is the link to vote:

WGN Cubs Song Contest Voting

If you actually want to hear the song, that link is right here:

Hey Hey – Modern Day Romeos

Thank you from me, the Romeos and all of their friends that want to ride their coat tails to fame and fortune. If you vote, and they win, I will see if I can get you some sort of special thing. Maybe an autograph that you can sell on eBay one day. Leave a comment when you vote so I know who to get stuff to!

P.S. I wouldn’t be opposed to anyone re-blogging or talking about this in their own blogs. I know, cheap begging but I am not above that to help out my friends.

Dead Celebs – Simple As That

It’s time for me to get off my butt and update you on the deaths of people who are apparently more important than the 1,000s of soldiers killed or children murdered on our streets every day. Wow, that was uncharacteristically political and socially conscious of me. I need to stop that. Seems like it was a shorter list this month. Once again, it was a month full of unexpected passings. Let’s review … shall we?

 

Charles Foley – 82 – Co-creator of Twister – July 1

Paul Jenkins – 74 – Actor Waltons, Dynasty – July 1

Dan Van Patten – 60 – Drummer Berlin – July 2

Douglas Engelbart – 88 – Inventor of the mouse – July 2

Michael Mastromarino – 49 – illegal body parts harvester – July 7

Amar Bose – 83 – Founder of Bose – July 12

Cory Monteith – 31 – Actor on Glee – July 13

Mel Smith – 60 – The albino in The Princess Bride – July 19

Helen Thomas – 92 – Journalist, White House Press Corp – July 20

Dennis Farina – 69 – Actor – July 22

Frank Castillo – 44 – Ex-Cubs pitcher – July 28

Eileen Brennan – 80 – Actress – July 28

 

Are You A Fan?

It is Stanley Cup time. We are deep in the middle of a hot series that could go either way. Of course, I am hoping the Hawks destroy the Bruins. I think they will. I hope they will. We need another championship here to hold us over until the Cubs win the World Series. Ok, so, maybe we need 9 or 10 championships to hold us over THAT long.

With the recent Blackhawks frenzy, there have been a LOT of sweaters (jerseys) being worn around work. They all look very expensive and have the name of one of the main stars on the back of them. I have one myself. I bought it years ago and I bought it blank because I couldn’t find one at the time with the person on it that I wanted. I was going to have it added at a later date but … that never happened. I am kind of glad that it didn’t.

I am not against getting a player’s name and number on the back, especially if you can find one of the more underappreciated players and then you got yourself a rarity. The thing is, I have been thinking about this a little bit lately and have come up with a few reasons why getting a player’s name on the back is a bad idea. This is for any sport.

 

1)      The player gets traded because he is so good. This happens more often than you think. The great player you have the jersey for because they were your team’s go to guy is now somewhere else. You spent a couple hundred dollars on the clothing item and have no problem wearing it during the season even though he isn’t on the team anymore. Until those teams play each other. Then you are rooting for the other team by default. (I know not really but go with me on this one. I need topics)

2)      The player turns out to be a total douche bag. A few years after you get him on your back, you find out he evicts the elderly, ignores children asking for autographs or is an ass toward the fans. Now, along with him, you are reviled all because you wear his name in support.

3)      The player turns out to be a cheater. I don’t know that anyone actually had clothing with Bonds’ name on it but I have a few Sammy Sosa things I am embarrassed to admit to. I even stopped putting up my Sammy Christmas Tree ornament every year.

4)      The player turns out to be a criminal. Don’t even have to go through this list.

5)      The jersey is a hell of a lot cheaper without a name on it. The price will also depend on who’s name as well. Just in case you are of the economical mindset.

 

For these reasons, in addition to the laziness, I think it is a good idea to not have a star player’s name on the back of your jersey unless you are related to said player in some way. The exception of course is if you got the jersey directly FROM that player (I don’t want to know how) and if that is the case, sell that sweaty, game worn atrocity on eBay BEFORE it loses value for any of the above reasons.

 

 

Stimulate This

This weekend, I received in the mail, a letter from the Census Bureau telling me that I was going to receive a letter from the Census Bureau that will be asking me to fill out a special census count. In this letter telling me about the letter, there was a flyer in different languages saying the same thing. I immediately was upset by the waste that this obviously cost the American taxpayer. First, the time it took to put that together, the cost of printing and the cost of mailing … only to tell us they will be sending something. Why couldn’t they just send the Census and have us fill it out in one mailing? It seemed like a colossal waste of time and money, until I realized this was probably a stimulus package of some sort.

Of course, it has to be. The government, in all of its wisdom, decided that they would stimulate the economy by doing everything twice, thereby adding money to the economy in the form of wages for the printers, money going to the post office so they don’t have to close on Saturdays, and more money to all the people that put the flyers and letters together. Not to mention the paper mills, the recycling centers to deal with all the extra paper that everyone will ignore and throw out. GENIUS!

I’m glad that our government, no matter what party it is run by, and what department is represented, is doing the best that it can to stimulate and rejuvenate our economy.

 

Celebrity Death Watch 2013 – Will This Be The Year?

Sounds like what Chicago Cubs fans (of which I am one) say every year. I would like to say that I think that the Cubs actually will win it all this year because this past year, I FINALLY made some accurate predictions in my Celeb death watch. The one though that is still eluding my predictions, and that the second half of the title is for, is for our lovely, legless Zsa Zsa. I still can’t believe that she is hanging in there. There were a lot of others though not expected despite my predictions of Robin Gibb & Ray Bradbury. Of course, there were those that passed who I had on my lists PREVIOUS years. So, those of you that made it through my list for 2012, look out in 2013. I really wish that some of my “Fun Guesses” came through for me as well, but oh well. We will try again this year. I have to leave a few on this year just because I have to. So, here we go!

2013 Obvious Choices

Zsa Zsa Gabor – 4 years running and she STILL hangs in there. I HAVE to leave her at the top of the list for another year.

Hugo Chaves – If he makes it until the posting of this list, I will be surprised.

George Bush Sr. – Second year in a row for him as well, since they won’t say WHY he is in the hospital really, I think it is his time. Plus, same reason as last year, a past president hasn’t died in a while.

Eli Wallach – Coffin? Coffin? He don’t need no stinkin’ coffin!

Kirk Douglas – Speaking of old. His chin dimple has been around so long the Grand Canyon looks like a creek.

Nancy Reagan – She is missing Ronny a little bit and will soon follow him.

Stan Lee – The scene where Spiderman covers Chewbacca with webbing will explode his brain.

Abe Vigoda – I hate to, but I have to. It is going to happen one of these days and I do NOT want to be left out. I love the old geezer!

Al Molinaro – I think I may have had him on in the past and I am adding him back for an Encore appearance. Get it … Encore. Yeah, we’ll be over at 6.

June Foray – The voice of Rocky the Squirrel is getting on in years. The only reason I have her is because she is still working! That means we will lose her too soon.

Mickey Rooney – Normally I stop at 10 but I had to throw him in here. His crazy is just getting crazy.

 

I will work on getting my “fun guesses” together in the next day or so. As always, feel free to let me know who you think will buy a farm this year. Remember, this is the realistic list. Wish list to come soon.

Just In Case

Since I am the walking embodiment of Murphy’s Law, and I am convinced the world will not end tomorrow … it just might. So, just in case, I wanted to say good-bye to everyone.

See you tomorrow!

End Of Line

The world won’t end Friday. Not literally anyway. However, maybe we wouldn’t be so bad off if it did. Or has it already in some ways? I mean look at just a few of the things that are happening around us that are harbingers of doom:

–          People of Walmart

–          Kardashians

–          Justin Bieber

–          Honey Boo Boo

–          The X-Factor

–          Christina Aguilera’s fashion choices

–          The new Instagram TOS

–          Vin Diesel in a remake of Kojak

These are dark times indeed. Makes me think maybe the world needs some kind of reboot. The problem is, how far back to we reboot to? If we don’t go back far enough, we risk living through the Disco era again. If we go too far, we lose indoor plumbing and “a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar” jokes.

Would it be better if we went back to a time where Duck Dynasty is the norm? Should we keep moving forward and push technology to the point where we can enter “the grid”? I don’t know if either of these things would solve the ills of society but I am sure that something has to change so that I can be comfortable raising my children in the world. If doomsday is that thing, then let the pulse reboot the world and let’s get to rebuilding.

 

Does my hair seem darker today?