Archive for Charlie Sheen

The Worst Of The Best Of The Worst Lists Of … Oh Whatever

Posted in Holiday, Nonsense, TV/Movies, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , on December 12, 2013 by Bob

Once again the geniuses at VIMB have decided to be totally innovative and do absolutely nothing different from anyone else. In fact, we may even be duplicating things we have done in the past. We are really just too lazy to go back and look. (and we wonder why we won’t get hired by

While I was at work watching Christmas Vacation today, I began to think of all of the Christmas specials that have been made. I also thought about the ones that should not have been made in that list. I then thought that perhaps I should be working instead of all this thinking. In any case, I thought it would be fun to go back and do some more tribute to Letterman and some top 10 listage for the holidays. So, from the home office in Shitterton, Dorset, England:

The top 10 worst ideas I could think of for Christmas specials at 10 o’clock at night

10. I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas: Starring Megyn Kelly and George Zimmerman

9. The Tea Party Saves Santa

8. Justin Bieber and the Brazilian National Choir Sing Mannheim Steamroller’s Greatest Hits

7. Kanye’s Holiday Salute To The Troops

6. Santa’s Celebrity Sober House: Starring Lindsay Lohan, Amanda Bynes, Charlie Sheen and Lamar Odom. With special guest Chris Brown as “the enforcer”.

5. Thamsanqa Jantjie: A Sign Language Holiday Sing-A-Long

4. My Favorite Holiday Cakes With David Mazzie

3. 101 Ways To Kill A Shelf Elf

2. Reindeer Dynasty

And the #1 worst idea I could think of for a Christmas special at 10 o’clock at night …

1. Star Wars Holiday Special


I’m Feeling A Little Deflated

Posted in How To, Nonsense with tags , , , , , , , , on March 8, 2011 by Bob

It seems my crusade to unseat Charlie Sheen as the biggest twit has fallen on deaf ears. That’s ok though. I am not sure that I thought that through too well.

To make up for it, are you ready? presents:

How To Change A Flat Tire

Step 1 – Get out of car, kick tire and curse at it

Step 2 – Take out your cell phone

Step 3 – Call AAA

Step 4 – Get back in your car and wait with your clean clothes and clean hands.


Until next time, remember … “I may be a living legend, but that sure don’t help when I’ve got to change a flat tire.”

Can I Out Twit Charlie Sheen?

Posted in Nonsense with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 7, 2011 by Bob

Do I really want to? Not sure if I used that correctly. I think it might be “tweet” but I am not really out tweeting Charlie Sheen, I just want to get to more followers than Charlie Sheen. Charlie Sheen got 2 million in the short time he has been on Twitter. I have 12. I really don’t use Twitter all that much, but I think that the few things I have to say are far more interesting and less psychotic … ok … more interesting that what Charlie Sheen says most of the time. I have a “follow me” link in the right side bar. Perhaps with enough correct tagging, I can get 2 million followers in 2 weeks. If I get that many, I might actually have to tweet then, won’t I? I will have to come up with even more clever things than I do now.

Charlie Sheen is going to endorse products on his Twitter. I don’t think I would actually buy anything that is sold by someone that wants Charlie Sheen to endorse it. Are you tied of me saying Charlie Sheen yet? I read somewhere, I think it was about the content farms, that they get higher up in search results by saying the same phrases, like Charlie Sheen, as many times as they can in one post about Charlie Sheen. This may drop me to depths of google results that are even lower than Charlie Sheen after a bender, but, what the hell. Charlie Sheen.

I would be happy to endorse products like Charlie Sheen. Not the same products as Charlie Sheen though. I could endorse fun things like Warheads (the candy), or Sonic slushes, or Hot Dog Ritchie’s, or any number of other things I like. By the way, unlike Charlie Sheen, I am not being paid for the above mentions. I think I have to say that by law. Charlie Sheen doesn’t listen to things like the law.

If my Charlie Sheen twit off works, maybe I will do a web show like Charlie Sheen. I can rhyme poetry too.

So help me become a bigger twit than Charlie Sheen won’t you? I promise I will “bring it” and then instead of Charlie Sheen, it will be me who is “Duh, Winning!”

This message has been brought to you by the committee to make the voicesinmybrain bigger twits than the voices in the brain of Charlie Sheen. Any likeness to characters living or dead was probably done intentionally and without remorse. No tiger blood was spilled and no warlocks were harmed in the writing of this post. Charlie Sheen.

I Can’t Believe I Watched The Whole Thing

Posted in Celebrity Deaths, Nonsense, TV/Movies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 28, 2011 by Bob

But I did it for you, my loyal readers, and those of you who stumbled upon this looking for something relevant. Yes, I watched the entire Oscars broadcast last night. I am deeply regretting that decision today. In my opinion, and apparently the opinions of a lot of others, it was THE worst Oscars show I can remember. I posted on my Facebook page this morning that  I was going to sue the academy to get that time of my life back. I don’t think it will work. I will agree with a friend of mine that commented when he said “Don’t blame the hosts, they did what they do. Both seemed to be themselves… which is the problem.” He said they took actors to do a stand up’s job. They did not do well. James Franco seemed like he did not want to be there and was just going through the motions to get paid. Anne Hathaway was over compensating for Franco’s lack of energy and it got REAL annoying.


The academy was pushing for weeks that they were trying to go hip and younger. Hell, the hosts even outright said that during the show last night. It didn’t work. The “hip and younger” academy pulled out Kirk Douglas early on. I didn’t have him on my death watch list this year because I thought he was already dead! His speech didn’t do any favors for the pacing of the show. I know he is like 95 so don’t get on me for picking on him, but for the love of god … let the poor man sit at home with his nurse and enjoy the show. He could hardly be understood and it was just sad to watch Spartacus struggle to stand up and then tell the winner as he handed over the Oscar “be careful, it’s heavy”.


Speaking of “He is still alive?”, the academy also brought out Eli Wallach. Why? I missed that part but if they are going for hip and young, let’s NOT bring people out, that the people they are trying to get to watch have to Google to find out who they even are. I am all for recognizing them, just when it takes up 5 minutes of the show for them to walk from the back of the stage to the front. Give them a Segway or something for cryin’ out loud.


James Franco dressing in drag and making a Charlie Sheen joke … really?


It was good to see Billy Crystal on stage to try to rescue the Oscars. He should have stayed up there. Instead, why bring Bob Hope back to life NOW? It just did not make sense. At least they didn’t make him dance with a vacuum cleaner.


Randy Newman … turn up your microphone. Although, you really wouldn’t be able to understand him much better than Kirk Douglas anyway but still. At least make it look like there are professional technicians working the show.


I would be remiss if I didn’t miss the omissions from the “In Memoriam” segment. While most of the people in the presentational re probably glad they did not have to listen to Celine Dion singing for them, it was amazing that they did not include Corey Haim, Peter Graves or Betty Garrett. Granted, Betty Garrett died this year but still, how bout a little love for Laverne and Shirley’s land lady.


I guess I really don’t understand why we even have to have these things televised. We, as the average person, get no input into the awards, we get nothing for watching them, there are usually little or no surprises, and they just get worse and worse every year. I am glad the actors and crew get recognition but, can’t we just read about it in the paper the next day? Let’s see ABC pick up the contract to televise the Razzies for the next 20 years. Now THAT would be entertainment!


Until next time, remember … “My father always told me I would be a late bloomer.”

Man Man Man Man Manly Man

Posted in Nonsense, TV/Movies, Wacky News with tags , , , , , , , on February 25, 2011 by Bob


Charlie and his Coke

By now, the writing is pretty much on the wall for Charlie Sheen remaining on Two and a Half Men. The chances of him returning to the show are very slim. By his own rants he is starting to say that he is not going to return. It is a shame. I really like that show. I think he is hilarious but, he has self destructed. His ego has gotten in the way of reality. I predict that within 2 months he will be hiding out with Randy Quaid and his wife.

This aside, the question is, can “Men” survive as a successful series without Sheen? I think it can but it would need to have the right actor cast in the roll. I have come up with a few suggestions. What do you all think? Feel free to leave your own suggestions in the comments as well.

Until next time, remember … “These men have taken a supreme vow of celibacy, like their fathers, and their fathers before them…”

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