My Blog Is The New Black

That’s right ladies and gentlemen. It has just been announced that Voicesinmybrain has been named the next new black. Thinking about it, I am not even sure what that means. It also doesn’t even make sense.

I understand what they mean when they say a color is the new black. Kind of. Not really. Sorry I am so all over on this. I mean, how can one color be a new version of another color? Another thing, how can they say “red is the new black” and then later say “pink is the new black”. Wouldn’t pink be the new red since red was the new black? I mean, that’s like saying Jay Leno is the new Johnny Carson and then saying that Jimmy Fallon is the new Jack Parr. Doesn’t make any sense does it.

In any case, my blog is not REALLY the new black. I just thought I could get away with it because I saw something today that said “evil is the new black”. WTF? HOW CAN THAT BE BLACK! If they were trying to say that black means evil, then it really wasn’t the NEW black was it? I think it was an ad for Maleficent. I’m not sure. I thought it was an asinine comment so I didn’t keep reading past the subject line.

I don’t really care if Orange is the new black or if Belt is the new Steve. All I care about is that it is after Memorial Day and that means Hawaiian shirt Friday’s. After all, ultra casual is the new tuxedo. Or something like that.

 

GO BLACKHAWKS!!!!! Because the Blackhawks are the new Stanley Cup.

 

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Another Facebook Rant

I know, EVERYONE complains about Facebook and it does no good. I realize this. I just want to complain, because I am getting old and cranky. Soon I will be growing my mustache to look like Wilford Brimley. I should put him on my death watch list. I am digressing. On to the rant.

The other day, I woke up and pulled up Facebook on my iPhone. I couldn’t sort by most recent updates. They hid it. By default, you can only see what Facebook thinks is important to you. Or what will give them the most advertising dollars. The thing that really irritates me, is that they didn’t tell anyone. At least not that I was aware of. I strengthen this statement by the sheer number of people that couldn’t find it either. Not only do you have to go to a hidden area to get the most recent stories, but you have to do it every time. It is like looking at comments.

If I don’t like Facebook I should leave. The problem is that you can’t leave. It is like Microsoft Office. You have to use it because everyone else uses it. I prefer Word Perfect over Word. No one else in the world does however. Oh well. That is the problem with Facebook. If you don’t use it, you won’t get invited to parties, you won’t find out about people dying, you won’t find out about people having babies, you won’t see amusing images from George Takei … basically you will be unattached from the world as a whole. Maybe that’s a good thing.

Well, no reason to tie you up any longer on a Sunday to to listen to my Facebook hate. Just needed to get it out there. LONG LIVE MYFROOGLE PLUS CHAT HALL CIRCLES! Or something.

 

I want to wish my MIL a happy birthday today. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

 

I Heartily Endorse This Product

Is what I would probably say if I was famous. Even if I don’t endorse the product. I would then rake in the tons of money they would offer me to make the general public think that I was a fan of whatever it is I am hocking. I wish I were famous for this reason because it seems that celeb endorsements have taken a jump recently. Either that or for some reason I am just noticing them more.

I think I am going to start buying things that have no celebrity endorsements. I figure they will be cheaper than the ones the famous folk like because they don’t have to roll the price of that celebrity into the price of the item. I also won’t have to listen to Samuel L. Jackson singing opera.

See, bet you thought I was really that stupid. I am not sure if I have bought anything, ever because a certain celebrity claims they buy, use, eat it. I am a huge cooking show fan and I don’t buy any of the famous chef cookware or anything. I take it back. I think there was one point in my life when I was buying things based on the below endorsement from a celebrity.

It was because of Godzilla … not the dog. Which means I hope the current Godzilla doesn’t start selling too many things other than Snickers. I like Snickers. I can do that.

How flippin cute are my minions?!?

I don’t count this as an endorsement because they are cartoons and my kids love them. So do I.

I’m Getting Too Old For … A Lot

It was my sister’s birthday yesterday, so the wife and I took her out to dinner and to see Modern Day Romeos. I have mentioned them before … Tori’s godfather, Cubs song, etc. Anyhoo, they were playing at a bar. Here are a few of the reasons I am too old to do this:

1) They were playing at a bar. This would be fine if it weren’t for the fact that a bar contains drunk people. And not just drunk people … dumb drunk people. The kind that think they can get away with anything and be general ass hats because they are the coolest people in the venue.

2) They started at approximately 10:45. PM. Why is this a problem? Because it was 10:45 pm.

3) I don’t like drunk people.

4) I was still recouping from my knee injury so, coddling that … my back spasmed. That was fun.

Besides those few issues, I had a blast. I love watching them and we were able to get a spot right up at the front of the stage so Jimmy and I were able to have a few little interactions. I have to say, I play the straight man pretty well for his humorous quips.

I got drink spilled on me from a drunk dancer, my wife got hit on by a 20 something year old, and I did some Muppets singing Jump for the crowd. It was just a few word but still fun. What do you mean “What do you mean you did Muppets singing?” Have I never mentioned that before? (that was smooth, wasn’t it?)

For those of you that don’t know … and warning for those of you that have been around a while … It is that time again for me to shamelessly post the only claim to fame I have. If fame is only a little more that 2,000 views on youtube in 5 years. I am no grumpy cat. Regardless, here it is again. I hope that someday I will reach 3,000 views. Then I will be on my way!

 

Thanks for watching that. I am not just whoring my video to get views. Well, yeah … I kinda am. But, I actually have a reason. After last night, I need to figure out what songs I can do to rock out with some Muppet voices. I was thinking Animal needs to sing something like Sweet Emotion maybe. Gonzo can possibly do Tom Sawyer and definitely something that the Swedish Chef can sing. Gotta think on it. Feel free to add suggestions. I might even FINALLY break out Herb to sing the song instead of my ugly mug.

Celebrity Deaths In April – I Don’t Have A Catchy Title

Well, February, I mean April has finally passed, as well as a number of celebrities this month. The Blackhawks are on so I really can’t think of much else to say. Sorry … but it is playoff hockey.

 

Lucy Hood – 56 – President of the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences – April 2

Arthur Smith – 93 – Songwriter of Dueling Banjos – April 3

John Pinette – 50 – Comedian – April 5

Mickey Rooney – 93 – His 5^th wife Barbara was murrrrrrdered – April 6

Peaches Geldof – 25 – Daughter of Bob Geldof – April 7

The Ultimate Warrior – 54 – Professional wrestler – April 8

Shane Gibson – 35 – Guitarist Korn – April 15

GOAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lee Marshall – 60ish – Voice of Tony the Tiger – April 26

DJ E-Z Rock – 46 – Musician – April 27

Bob Hoskins – 71 – Actor Who Framed Roger Rabbit; Hook – April 29

 

Like I said, Blackhawks are on. I am a little distracted but they are winning 1 – 0 at the end of the first. Sorry if I missed anyone.

 

GO HAWKS!

Bob’s Travel Tips – Fashion

I will give you all a moment to stop laughing at the fact that I am giving fashion advice.

Ready yet? No? Still Laughing?

 

Ok, should be done by now.

I feel I can speak on this because there is only one way to dress when you travel. For the purpose of this post, I am going to assume that travel is always someplace warm. Hell, it doesn’t matter. Wherever you go, the only way to dress is Hawaiian shirt. It is the all purpose party/formal/casual/lounge wear. We as a society idolize celebrities. And we should, at least these celebrities that know how to rock the look.

 

 

 

 

 

Well, maybe Nick Nolte isn’t the best role model but … CHUNK!

Anyhoo, if you want to get the best shirts around, go to Bad Shirt Good Times. They have some awesome shirts, and no, I am not paid by them and do not receive free shirts. I like them because they have cool designs, and the guys over at BSGT like to abbreviate their name as much as we do here at VIMB.

 

They also have palm trees in their logo. With a hammock. From the hammock district.

 

 

 

 

 

 

That’s all I got for now. Go buy a shirt and go somewhere.