Archive for July, 2011

Did You Know?

Posted in Nonsense with tags , , , , on July 31, 2011 by Bob

Did you know …

– That if you have your fridge too cold, and you leave the milk in the back, it does NOT turn into ice cream?

– If you let your dog stay out in the sun for more than 5 minutes, she really smells?

– If you are out of shape, you should NOT make 57 trips up and down stairs cleaning out the basement?

– The theme for Spiderman should not be sung to the theme from the 60’s Batman?

– Wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube men are funny things to watch?

– I was watching Family Guy while writing this?

– It has been 7 months and I have only missed 2 days of writing this?

– I still hate mowing the lawn?

– The Goonies is a cool movie?

– I am going to be sooooo sore tomorrow?

 

Time For A Quickie

Posted in Nonsense with tags on July 30, 2011 by Bob

Today’s list:

– Buy new outside garage light

– Buy storage bins

– Vacuum living room

– Clean Kitchen

– Install new outside garage light

– Laundry

How much of it did I do?

Bought the light and did some laundry. I also vacuumed, but it took me forever with moving furniture and doing a good cleaning. I hate cleaning. I need a relatively inexpensive cleaning lady I think. That or I need Tori to grow up faster to help out.

 

There HAS To Be More To Life

Posted in Music, Wacky News with tags , , , , , on July 29, 2011 by Bob
Mr. Pierogi

Image by anneh632 via Flickr

Today on the radio I heard a commercial that I thought was a joke at first. It started by hyping a parade, carnival or some such thing and saying that it was Northwest Indiana’s most anticipated event. I was intrigued. I thought it was going to be something really spectacular. It was for Pierogi Fest.

Don’t get me wrong, I love a good Pierogi as much as the next Ukrainian Pollock, however, I don’t think that they need a parade and their own fest. I especially think it is a little sad if that is what your town looks forward too all year. I mean, most fairs and festivals have a “Miss <insert festival name>”, they have a big sign on their web page that says meet Mr. Pierogi.

Now that I am looking more at the website, I may have to go to the Polka contest. It is being hosted by  Polkahontas and judged my Mr. Pierogi himself and Mrs. Paczki. I bet the food is really good … but still … REALLY?!

It’s Only TV … Right?

Posted in TV/Movies with tags , , , , , , , on July 28, 2011 by Bob

Right now I am sitting watching Burn Notice. Love this show. For the un-initiated, Michael Westen is a “burned” spy who in now un-burned and sort of working for the CIA again but not really and helps people. He lives in Miami. I always knew that Miami was a hot bed of crime and villainy, but there are enough bad guys in Miami, that it has kept the show on the air for 6 seasons.

Another fun part is that he tells you exactly how to do all kinds of cool spy stuff. I think that I could be a spy based on what he tells. How to blow things up, how to sneak up on people, the best way to bug someone, etc, etc.

Ok, maybe I can’t be a spy based on what he says on the show, but it has Bruce Campbell in the cast. He plays Sam Axe. He kicks ass. Sharon Gless, from Cagney and Lacey fame also rocks. Gabrielle Anwar, hot and is a bad ass!

It’s a cool show. I am going to go now and watch it. Plus, my wife just brought me a root beer float. YAY WIFE!

Until next time, remember … “you say tomato, I say pimp.”

 

To All The Drivers That Tick Me Off …

Posted in Nonsense with tags , , on July 27, 2011 by Bob

Moron, idiot, jerk, stupid, jerk ass, jerk wad, ass hat, jack hole, jerk wagon, moron, douche bag, ass munch, dumb ass, numb nuts, knob jockey, dick head, dill weed, dick weed.

Thank you

 

The views expressed here are those of the writer and do not necessarily reflect those of the management of VoicesInMyBrain … oh wait, yes they do. Oh yeah, if you were offended by this … then you are probably one of the afore mentioned drivers.

And Then There Were Confused Readers

Posted in Nonsense with tags , , , , , , , , , on July 26, 2011 by Bob

If a blind man climbs a ladder to the 13th floor of a second level basement, and Big Bird flies to Russia during Ramadan, then George Jetson travels in time to see his granddaughter blow up a mountain troll from Harry Potter.

Arby’s is not good mood food and grease is not the word anymore.

MMI (motorcycle mechanics institute) is a far better name than UTI (universal technical institute)

If you hate your job on Monday then silverback gorillas will eat salmon in June.

16 men on a dead parrots chest … just won’t fit.

Piggy banks would be more challenging if they were real pigs.

Si d’abord vous ne réussissez pas, alors vous ne devriez pas essayer le parachutisme

 

I Want To Raise My Debt Ceiling

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on July 25, 2011 by Bob

Dear politicians, I would like to raise my own debt ceiling to an unholy level so that I can quit my job and stay home with my daughter. I will pay for this by charging you a fee to rule over me and make stupid laws like telling me I can’t eat salt. If you fix my road, I will pay you a very low wage and give you a performance review once a year.

I will decide eventually IF I want to pay you back or if I just want to continue to raise my debt ceiling. I will be spending far more money than I will ever take in and you will not be able to foreclose on me, or sue me for anything.

Thank you,

Voices

 

This of course is a simplistic view but it gets the basics across. I usually don’t get political but I am really getting honked off at them messing with my TV shows.

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