Archive for May, 2011

Technical Difficulties

Posted in Nonsense, Tech Stuff with tags on May 31, 2011 by Bob

So, I was going to write about my airport experience this past weekend but WordPress is seeming to have some issues. I can’t see the posting screen real well on 4 different browsers so, I am going to just do this and try again tomorrow.

Memorial Day

Posted in Holiday with tags , on May 30, 2011 by Bob

Been a long weekend. I will write about my trials and tribulations later, for now I want to say thank you, we remember and hope everyone had a safe Memorial day weekend.

Over Or Under

Posted in Nonsense with tags , , , on May 29, 2011 by Bob

I am not talking about gambling. I am talking about one of the hottest debates that has ever been posed by man. How should the toilet paper be put on the roll? With the traveling we are doing this weekend, I have seen a few iterations, including the food service sideways T.P. rolls which just skews the whole discussion.

I am told that each way has it’s own merits, I don’t see it. I feel the over is the way to go. You don’t have to reach under awkwardly and if the roll is too tight, it is easier to inch it along without getting 100 tiny pieces of paper. I do understand that with it over the top, little kids, as they tend to do, will grab and slap and it will all just unroll all over the floor. Meh.

The one thing I think it should be though, is consistent. If you do it one way one day, do it the same the next. If you are in a public place and the stall has 2 rolls side by side, they should be the same, not one way on one roll and the other way on the other. Am I really having a discussion about toilet paper? Wow.

Anyway, we have a few more places to go and then tomorrow we are on our way home. Will let you know how it all goes. Happy early Memorial day and I hope everyone is having a fun and safe weekend!

Another VIMB ‘How To’ Moment

Posted in Holiday, How To, Nonsense with tags , , , , , , , on May 28, 2011 by Bob

While it is true I am on vacation this weekend, I did not want to leave you all out in the cold. So, here is a vacation related “How To” moment.

Voicesimmybrain presents, How to pack for a vacation

1. Spend 4 days washing all of the laundry you think you might want to take

2. Buy travel sized bottles of everything

3. Make a list of everything you are going to take so you don’t forget anything

4. Leave the list at work when you leave on the last day before your vacation. Curse profusely.

5. Lay out all your folded clothes, cameras, baby supplies, toiletries and everything else on the list that you called someone at the office and had them scan and email to you

6. Realize that it will take 3 suitcases and 4 carry on bags to fit everything you want to take

7. Secondarily realize that to check all your bags will cost more than the plane ticket itself.

8. Say screw it and leave all your bags at home and just stop at the closest Walmart after your plane lands.

Flying The Friendly Sky

Posted in Nonsense, Tori with tags , , , , , , on May 27, 2011 by Bob

Well, we are off. We are heading to the airport to take Tori on her very first airplane trip. As I said the other day, she is teething so this will be interesting. That isn’t the part I am looking forward to the most though. I have read a lot recently about babies and the TSA. I am trying to figure out how to mess with them the best way I can.

I am contemplating giving Tori some prunes in a few minutes so that they are right through her at the proper time. They want to hand search the baby, they can get their fill. Of course I don’t want to do anything that will get me arrested or pulled out of line, but damn it would be so fun. I wish I had the guts to say things like “did you wash it all off of her?” or “QUICK! Tuck it in the diaper!” while they are about to search her, just to get them going. I am far to cowardly though to do that.

If anyone has any suggestions, I have about 45 min before I get to the security checkpoint so throw those suggestions at me. If you don’t get them until later, they would still be good for the return trip.

Oh yeah, it’s Friday and I am NOT at work!!  WOOHOO!

Millions I Missed Out On

Posted in Nonsense with tags , , , , on May 26, 2011 by Bob

So, I have had my new car for a few weeks now and I am loving all of the little technology features that it has. Automatic headlights and windows are so basic these days. Now, they have all kinds of things that make driving so much more of a lazy person’s endeavor. Some of these technological advances however, have been stolen right out from under me. I am always saying “they should do this, why can’t a car do that, etc, etc. Unfortunately, I am usually saying these things to myself and not in front of a patent clerk. Some of the things that are on my car now that I have talked about “they should have”:

• Headlights that turn on when the windshield wipers are on

• Windshield wipers that turn on automatically when they sense moisture

• Automatic high beam lights

These things I have lost millions by not inventing them when I should have. So, just to get it out in the open, and so that I can claim I thought of them first, here are a few other things that should be built into every new car.

• Automatic shoe shine while you drive

• Front cameras for pulling into the garage and to see on the right front of the car

• Microwave glove box

• Vibrating seats (the wife picked that one)

I had a few other really great ones on my way to work the other day but since they passed this stupid law about texting while driving, I forgot them.

Tomorrow I will be writing to you fro parts unknown as we are leaving on vacation. The next few days will be short and sparse but I will be here in one form or another.

Have a safe weekend all!

What’s Our Vector Victor?

Posted in Nonsense, Tori with tags , , , , , on May 25, 2011 by Bob

Yup, I am getting on plane soon. We are going to Pennsylvania this weekend. From what I understand, it is an hour drive or so outside of Pittsburgh. Other than that, where we are going has very little cell reception. What does this mean? It means I will be attempting to blog whenever I can and post whenever I have the littlest of reception. This will be my first major test of posting every day when I am on vacation.

Tori is coming too and this will be her first plane trip. She is having some good strength teething pains again. Yay. Just i time for pressure on the plane and all, and she is still too young to knock out with children’s Benadryl. I will keep you posted so you can laugh at my tribulations.

Until next time, “Put Ham on five and hold the Mayo.”

Better Luck Next Time

Posted in Nonsense, Wacky News with tags , , , , , , on May 24, 2011 by Bob

I read today that the rapture has been rescheduled. It has been moved to Oct 21.

The World Series this year begins on Oct. 19th.

If the new rapture date is accurate, that means only one thing…

This IS the year that the Chicago CUBS will go to the World Series and will only be able to play 2 games.

Go figure, everyone says that if the CUBS are in the World Series that means the world is ending. At least they should be able to play the whole thing.

My Will Has Been Hacked

Posted in Nonsense, Tech Stuff with tags on May 23, 2011 by Bob

Hi all,

I have spent most of the day making sure that all of my accounts are ok and that no information was in my email that was hacked last week and another email hacked this morning. I am pretty much drained. Of course, they couldn’t hack into my lawnmower and make THAT magically work. Yes, I HATE mowing the lawn. Anyhoo, hopefully my accounts are secure again and everyone will stop getting odd spam emails from me. If you already did, I apologize.

I Lived, And Now It Storms

Posted in Nonsense with tags , , , , on May 22, 2011 by Bob

I thought I would write this now during the big storms that are rolling through. As everyone is talking about, the rapture didn’t happen. Right this very minute, storms are rolling through our area and everyone is facebooking asking if the rapture is a day late.

Jackie is particularly nervous as she has as an irrational fear of storms as I have of heights. It seems that she thinks that “thunder=tornado”. I like thunder storms. I think the lightning is cool. Unless of course the power goes out. That kind of sucks. I will also be rather torqued if a big lightning strike blows out my TV. Other than that, Tori seems to do ok during the storms. Piper, not so much. She is already upstairs hiding in a corner. If a tornado DOES ever come through, she will be hard to get into the basement I think.

It is getting darker out. It is starting to thunder. I have not eaten dinner yet. My luck, I am going to want to eat RIGHT as the power goes out. grrrrr

Anyhoo, happy no rapture everyone. I guess I shouldn’t have sold my lawnmower to the guy on the corner huh?

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