Archive for February, 2010

A New Shark Has Hit Hollywood

Posted in Nonsense, TV/Movies on February 27, 2010 by Bob

Years ago, a new phrase came into existence. The reason the phrase was coined? Happy Days. The ratings just weren’t what they used to be. Fans of the show wanted something more. No show had thrown in a twist like this before. Fonzie jumped over a shark. It was so unbelievable. It was so unexpected. It was so … stupid. In an attempt to boost ratings and renew the show’s vitality, jumping the shark pretty much signaled the start of the end. Since then, any show on television that takes that path with some convoluted plot surprise has been said to “jump the shark”. Once this happens, you can pretty much stop watching the show because it is usually on it’s last legs.

There have been many shark jumping storylines over the years. Usually they are all unique to the show. Lately however, there has been a general theme that every show has seemed to jump on. Not that this particular story line hasn’t showed up in television before, it has, it just seems that this is the new “shark”. What is it you ask? Lesbionics.

Do not get me wrong, I am not making fun of, being prejudiced, or anything like that. I am just saying that it seems that whenever a show starts slipping lately, they bring in lesbian relationships. It happened on most recently on an episode of Desperate Housewives. Jackie was watching some DVR episodes so I saw the latest incarnation. A former stripper who is also a lesbian and is hitting on the ex asylum patient. If THAT is not a shark jump I don’t know what is.

With so many shows going this route, they are going to have to rename it from jumping the shark to … well something else. You be the judge. Give me some ideas. Short one tonight as we are going out to see a friend’s sister’s band. I think. Depends on how dinner goes. If we ever get there.

So, until next time … wow. I have no quote to put here. I am ashamed.

How Much Is That Hot Dog In The Steamer

Posted in Food, Nonsense, Tech Stuff with tags , , , , on February 25, 2010 by Bob

It has been enough days where I can finally talk about food again. I had an unfortunate experience at a Fuddrucker’s last weekend. Had a burger that was not the best in quality, or, some of the condiments were not as fresh as advertised. Either way, my Sunday and Monday were pretty much non-existent. It has also turned me off of hamburgers for quite a while. Most people who get food poisoning are turned off from whatever it was that got them ill. This got me to thinking, what would have happened if I had gotten sick off of something that I really love. Like Hot Dogs.

I could live off of hot dogs. I could eat them every day, as long as they are the right kind. It has to be a Chicago Style Hot Dog, preferably Vienna, on a steamed poppy seed bun. For those of you that for some ungodly reason do not know what a Chicago Style Dog is, first you should get out more, but it is the dog , with mustard, relish (bright neon green for real authenticity),  onion, dill pickle spear, tomato wedges or slice (NEVER diced),  sport peppers and celery salt. The bun should always be poppy seed and NEVER EVER should ketchup touch a hot dog unless you are under 11 years old. Occasionally, I will have a good chili dog, or some beans and franks, but those are never a substitute for a real dog.

Now, I am told that people in different regions of the country think that they have the best way to serve a hot dog. Please, sauerkraut on a hot dog? These are the same people who think that they know how to make pizza better than Chicago. Being the open minded person that I am however, I am willing to entertain the idea that there may be other ways to serve the venerable wiener. I open up this challenge, let me know your favorite way to have a dog (if it isn’t the right way) and I will try it. I will even buy the ingredients and prepare it myself. I promise I will give honest reviews of the culinary adventure.

Speaking of cooking hot dogs, a new device was revealed this week by bloom energy. (I am only adding this because I said I would say something on Wednesday and there might actually be 1 person looking forward to it) It is an electricity creation device about the size of a small freezer that could power your house. You could put it in your back yard. It can run off methane from garbage dumps. It produces half the amount of CO2. It runs at around 1000 degrees Fahrenheit. That would burn your dogs.

I know, that last bit was a stretch but it is done. It can’t be taken back.

That’s it for now campers, get me those dog suggestions. Until next time … Hi, my name is Squirrel. What’s yours?

It’s All Going Down Hill

Posted in Nonsense, Tech Stuff with tags , , , , on February 23, 2010 by Bob

Welcome again to another riveting episode of Techtainment Tuesday. I am going to start off by saying I will be writing an addendum tomorrow. Bloom Energy is supposed to be announcing some sort of revolutionary energy device tomorrow that creates energy and transmits wirelessly. And the kicker, you can do it right in your own back yard. This is all the info anyone knows right now. Yes, this is truly geeky. I will report more tomorrow.

On to the real stuff.

On Saturday, Jackie and I made our annual trip to Dave & Buster’s for a friend’s birthday party. This happens every year and we have been going for the last 3 or 4 or 5 years. I, myself, have been going to Dave & Buster’s every now and then, since they opened in Addison.  When they first opened, it was fantastic. TONS of video games, a nice amount of games for tickets, VR games, video golf (which I went and played quite a few times with some buddies in the colder months), and a host of other things to pass the time. For the tickets you did win, there were some pretty cool prizes. The food was pretty good and the prices weren’t that bad. Slide forward to this past weekend.

I had noticed the last few years that things have started to get a little cheesy. There weren’t as many video games and the “coolness” of the ones they did still have, just weren’t there. (personally, I think they should bring back TRON) We walked into the game area and I was shocked to see just how more sparse the video game collection had become. Most of the games are all shooting games, which in and of itself is not bad, but it was basically 4 games and they just had multiple machines of that same game. The games that Jackie and I wanted to play … one machine. One of the games I was really surprised to see that they had was Guitar Hero. Why? Doesn’t almost anyone who has video games have that at home to play for free? Or just play it at Best Buy and Walmart? Also, if you are good enough at it that you can play in public without embarrassing yourself, you aren’t old enough to be IN Dave & Buster’s after 9 p.m. to begin with.

Video games … FAIL. Once we played a few rounds of Aliens, we decided to go and add to our ticket cache. If I thought the video games were a fail, the ticket games … EPIC FAIL!!! When it comes to the ticket games I let Jackie play. (I would spend more on video games if they had some of the cool ones) We walked around looking for the particular ones she likes. Found one! Out of order. Found one! Out of order. Over and over and over. So, we decided to switch game type. Lots of games open that you need to get the tokens for first. COOL! Go to the token machine … yup, out of order. So I flip the switch to turn on the service light. I wait. I wait. A manager walks up. I think it is going to get fixed. He walks by and flips the light off without even looking. Now, I am sure that they get a lot of people just turning the light on to turn it on but at least check! So I chased him down and told him it was out of order for real. He looked at me like I was causing him severe pain by making him do his job. But, I kept my composure and did NOT break my New Years resolution #1.

Once we finally found a machine that was being generous with the ticket outlay, we sat and used up our “credits”. We collected our tickets and went to redeem our bounty. That is about all they had … a roll of Bounty. The prize closet was abysmal. It was like walking through a flea market at the end of the day. It was dirty, unorganized and everything was crap. They basically have gotten rid of all of the cute cheap little trinkets that you would redeem your tickets for if you were a tourist and just wanted a souvenir. Wait, I take that back, you could get a Dave & Buster’s ash tray. REALLY!?!?! An ASH TRAY!!!

The only “prizes” that were “worth” anything were Crock Pots, Video Games, etc, that cost well over 10,000 tickets, basically, things that would cost about 1/8 of what D&B is charging if you bought it at a regular store. They obviously do not care about the infrequent or one time visitor. They want to try to force you to come back over and over. If you don’t, then that makes them money too. They don’t redeem your tickets so it is all profit. I say all profit because they obviously do not reinvest a whole lot of money on maintenance. I understand that a business wants to have repeat customers. I do not have a problem with that. However, D&B has gone from being an entertainment Mecca to the quality of a strip mall arcade. Actually, I have seen some better strip mall arcades than what D&B has become. Might I also add that it cost me $3.50 for a freakin’ Coke!!!!

Wow, that was a long little rant. Before I run out of digital ink in this pen, I wanted to touch on one more piece of Techtainment. I was recently reading about a service called Chatroulette. Apparently you go to the website and with your web cam active, you are randomly connected to other “chatters” around the globe. I have not tried this myself as I am not a huge “chat” person. Also, the concept of this makes me a little nervous, and the reviews I have read have not allayed my fears. This is a webcam chat. Random. No clue what you are going to see. I have not read all the articles, but the gist is, that if you go on there, expect to see a large number of genitalia before you connect with a “normal” person looking to chat. And guys, that genitalia … mostly other guys. Honestly, with all the phones that can text that are out there, I didn’t think that people still chatted on line. At least not in that capacity. I use chat at work for quick answers to questions, but that is about it. Does anyone still use chat that often?

Anyhoo, like I said, I will be back tomorrow to condense the news stories on the “Energy Box”. Until then, remember, “Yes I’m old. Old enough to remember when the MCP was just a chess program!”

To Hell With The Groundhog!

Posted in Nonsense with tags , , , , , , , , on February 17, 2010 by Bob

No matter what the groundhog says, signs of spring are upon us! “A pox upon you! It is still cold out!” one might say. While this is true, to which my chilly, nighttime toes can attest, signs of the coming warmer months are cropping up all over.

First of all, pitchers and catchers report today in Mesa, AZ. That’s right, CUBS spring training is right around the corner!! As I am every year, I am excited. This is the year. It has to be, it was one of my predictions for 2010. I am pretty good with my baseball predictions. So much in fact, that I avoided having to have a tattoo of Ichiro Suzuki plastered on my left ass cheek one year. Soon, the rest of the team will be there, (at spring training, not on my left ass cheek) and then Pat and Ron will take us on that magical journey all the way from spring training to the World Series! I will also, albeit reluctantly, wish whi … whi … wh … White Sox fans (sorry, hard for me to say that) good luck for the upcoming season as well.

I have been leaving work earlier the last few weeks so I hadn’t really noticed, but last night, I was out running errands and I all of a sudden realized it was after 5 p.m. and I was not home yet. I tried to figure out how the time had slipped away and I didn’t realize it was that late. (I left work around 3:30) The reason, it was still light out! Indeed the days are getting longer. This is a sure sign of spring. Granted, it isn’t getting things warmer but still, it is a nice little bonus. Although, Tom Skilling did say that we are only 40 some odd days away from our first 70-degree day. As a side note to those of you that think it is a good idea to wear shorts on the FIRST warm day of the year … unless you fake bake with Snooki all winter, please don’t. Snooki … she is actually trying to trademark that name … and now we find out she isn’t even Italian. But I digress …

Spring also starts a little earlier these days thanks to good old “W”. Back in ought seven, they made Daylight Saving Time start 2 weeks earlier and end 2 weeks later. This gives us the illusion of longer days since the sun will set even later by the clock. Be careful though, this also means more unsupervised children running around in the streets later in the evening.

For any of you out there that might still be in school, spring also brings that time of year when Joe Francis makes enough money to pay all of his legal bills for the year … Spring Break. If you are a parent of any student, you may dread spring break. If so, I am sorry for mentioning it. Also a warning, if you are the father of a girl 16-25 who goes to spring break, you should probably stop buying those Girls Gone Wild videos. Serious potential for AWKWARD!

I can’t think of any negatives to the approaching spring. American Idol is already on and ruining my late winter, (which means it will be over by early spring god willing) Eureka doesn’t start up with new episodes until the summer (this is good because it won’t conflict with a lot of other good shows that are on now where I might have to choose) and the spring of 2010 brings the demise of the Tyra Banks show. (much to the dismay of Joel McHale and the rest of The Soup staffers. Thank god for Wendy Williams) See … SPRING IS GOOD!

So, grab your spray tan, go out and buy that first time of the year grass fertilizer, and pick up a few extra large garbage bags for that first trip into the backyard after the snow melts when the dog has been going out there all winter.

Until next time remember … To truly hock a loogie, one must not retrieve the phlegm from the throat, but from the soul.

Barbra Walters Drag Racing Halting 24

Posted in Celebrity Deaths, Nonsense, Tech Stuff, TV/Movies with tags , , , , , , , , , on February 16, 2010 by Bob

Welcome to Techtainment Tuesday. I know I missed last week because of my Lego Star Wars obsession but I am almost at 45% complete now. Thank god for walkthroughs. Don’t yell at me for using them. I am far to impatient to figure things out myself on video games today. When I was big into video games … never mind, that will be a blog for another day. Back to today’s topics most of which I hope you have already heard about unless, of course, you live under a rock. In which case I am providing a valuable service.

I will admit that there probably should have been a few commas in my title today, but then it wouldn’t have seemed as interesting. It will all come together as you read. I hope.

On the entertainment front … where to begin? I will start with the obvious, Kevin Smith getting thrown off an airplane for being too fat. I used to revel in the fact that I was a near dead ringer for Silent Bob. I even looked like Kevin Smith when he wasn’t in Silent Bob mode. Showed my mother a picture of Kevin with his wife once and my mom asked “Who is that girl you’re with?”. Now, after breaking a toilet and getting kicked off a plane, I am kind of glad I have not been trying to keep up with looking like him. In fact, I have lost 40 lbs since I most resembled the tubby bitch. One thing I have to say though, it happened, it’s over with, get it out of the news. I am sure this has happened to hundreds, if not thousands, of other “fat” people, but it is never heard of in the news. If it is going to be news, then let’s do it for all overweight people and not just center on one individual.

Barbara Walters (BaBa WaWa for those of you old enough to remember, here is a video if you don’t) has announced she will do only one more Oscar special. I don’t think I have ever watched any of these so I personally won’t miss them. Never been a fan of her to begin with. According to the stories I was reading, her View co-hosts were asking all sorts of inane questions like “why not 30 years”, and other such things. Whoopi was wondering how she could take over that show, and Elisabeth Hasselbeck was overheard saying “You had an Oscar show?” and then she started crying.

24 production has been halted because Kiefer is having surgery on a cyst on/near his kidney. Personally, I think they could have saved time and money having the Russian mob guy remove it when he had his finger dug into Jack’s side in last night’s episode. I am still convinced the cyst formed when he got that other Russian guy’s sweet, sweet eye juice jammed in there when it was still on the knife. I am getting real life and pretend mixed up again aren’t I?

In celebrity death news, we lost the writer of My Sharona and lead singer of the Knack. Doug Fieger succumbed to cancer.

On to some tech.

I LOVE MY DVR!!!!!!! I used to say “Why do I need a dvr? I have a vcr and a DVD recorder. If I need to record more than one show I can use two different TVs. I don’t need to rewind or pause live TV” WHAT WAS I THINKING?!?!?! DVR I think is the greatest invention since the Commadore Vic 20! Ok, there have been plenty of great inventions since then but still. The fact that I can DVR two shows and watch a DVD or something else is fantastic. And the amount of time I can record and the fact I can record in HD and … and … ohhhh yeahhhhhhh. Pardon me while I get a towel. What, I got excited and spilled my drink! Perverts.

The problem with DVR is that it is much easier to record one thing and watch another. Some may see this as a good thing. It is, don’t get me wrong. I love that … except when the wife, for some unknown reason, wants to watch RuPaul’s Drag Race. If you don’t know who RuPaul is then you are lucky. Now, before anyone asks why I was watching the Logo Network, I was doing some things on the computer and Jackie was watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer, which they play on that network. I think because of the whole Willow lesbian thing. Buffy ended and while I was getting the food from the delivery guy RuPaul started. A few minutes into the show, I looked at Jackie who had control of the remote at the time. I asked her if she was going to turn the Olympics on. She told me it was recording. I asked her why she wasn’t putting something else on. She told me she was intrigued. So, we watched a show about a bunch of gay men that would make Jack from Will and Grace look straight, dressing up as women so they can dance on a stripper pole in front of a crowd of men that I am not entirely sure knew they were drag queens. The show was disturbing. It was like an accident. You don’t want to look for fear of what you might see, but you just can’t look away. How does this fall under Tech? It is here because I am going to use the technology of parental controls to block this show so I never have to watch it again. Normally, I would have gone to the bedroom to watch something else but, I didn’t want to get rib sauce on the blankets.

Not sure what was accomplished here today. Some tears were shed, some nightmares have been spawned, and maybe, just maybe some lives were saved. So, until next time, I ask you this … “Did you ever suck the jelly out of a jelly doughnut and then fill it with chocolate swirl ice cream?”

Ch Ch Ch Ch Ch Changes

Posted in Celebrity Deaths, Nonsense, Tech Stuff, TV/Movies, Wacky News with tags , , , , , , , , on February 12, 2010 by Bob

Happy Friday all. They are predicting that by midnight tonight, there is a very good possibility that there will be at least an inch of snow in all 50 states at the same time. Yes, this does include Hawaii. Who says global warming isn’t changing things.

The fashion world was changed this week with the death of Alexander McQueen. Personally, I have never heard of him but, he made the news casts and since I am keeping track of the whole celebrity death thing, I thought I would mention it.

Another person who changed life as we know it died this week as well. Walter Morrison. Who is he you ask? I asked the same thing. He invented the Frisbee. He was 90. That would fall into the category of “he was still alive?” Even though I didn’t know him by name, I still thought he was long passed on.

Also changing this week, at least my page didn’t change until Tuesday, was Facebook. That is one change toward fulfilling my predictions for 2010. Now only 200 some odd updates left for the year for Facebook. I don’t really mind the change I don’t think since I don’t Farm of Fish or look for treasure. Maybe it affects them more.

Change is coming to corporate America in the very near future as Comcast plans to change it’s name. Welcome to Xfinity. Apparently Comcast is hoping that re-branding itself will make everyone forget about the horrible customer service that customers have endured for years. Personally, I have had very few issues with Comcast over the last few years. Maybe I was just lucky or maybe I keep getting helped by the few people who like their jobs and care about their performance. Either way, I really can’t in good conscience bad mouth Comcast/Xfinity other than their exorbitant pricing.

Speaking of changing names and updating branding … In the upcoming days, weeks, months, depending on how motivated I get, my blog will be getting some changes here and there. The name will be changing and eventually I will be moving to a self hosted blog. This will give me the availability to do a lot more as it will be more like a real website. It will still contain what you have come to expect (or dread) in my postings, but the new name will more closely reflect me. The new name will be “Voices In My Brain”. That will also be my new URL for the blog. The URL is currently alive and redirecting to this blog so if you want to get a jump on it and re-bookmark now, feel free. It is voicesinmybrain.com

The name on the blog will probably change this weekend. The moving of the blog itself will depend on the motivation of me finally signing up for hosting and then moving everything. So probably June or July at the rate I move sometimes.

That is about all the change I can handle for one day, unless of course anyone has any spare change they want to pass my way. Yeah, that’s right, I just cyber panhandled.

Until next time remember … Time may change me, but hippies… they want to save the world but all they do is smoke pot and play frisbee!”

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