AHHHHHHH HAHAHAHAHAHA!

BOO! Hahaha. I sure did scare you! Actually, the site of another post of mine showing up in your email, facebook wall or wherever else you find out about my blog is probably scary enough. Anyhoo, a quick one today. As promised, I am listing my favorite “horror humor” movies. These are horror films that I like which were amusing intentionally or unintentionally. Now, some, maybe not the WHOLE movie is funny … but there are humorous parts. Let me know of some other funny horror flicks I need to remember.

 

Student Bodies – Gonna kill the kid with the gum

House – Greatest American Hero and Norm chasing ghosts….classic

American Werewolf in London – Come on, the dead friend was funny!

Saturday the 14^th – One of the earlier spoof horror flicks. Plus, I just find Jeffrey Tambor funny.

Creepshow – Horror with sever tongue in cheek.

Creepshow 2 – Not as good as the first but still worth watching

Elvira Mistress of the Dark – Favorite dialog after Elvira gets hit in the head with a theater marquee letter “How’s your head?” Elvira: “never had any complaints”

Tales from the Crypt: Bordello of Blood – Dennis Miller in a horror film…right there you can’t take it seriously.

Young Frankenstein – Probably my favorite. “putting on the ritz!”

Scary Movie Franchise – Hit and miss but there are always at least a few good scenes in them.

Evil Dead Movies – I know they were in last year’s list of fav all time but it bears repeating.

 

There you have it. Once again, not an all inclusive list but a good start for any humor horror Halloween. As always, let me know some others you may know of so I can add to my own list.

 

Have a frightful Halloween and until next time, remember … “Dead men tell no tales, but they fart.”

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AHHHHHH PATOOHEY!

It is getting to be that time of year again … hell, it IS that time of year again … Halloween. This month has just flown by with the addition of our little monster. Last year I gave you all my list of some of my all time favorite movies to watch at Halloween. The list of course grows bigger every time I think about it, but I will not bore you with the same list as last year. This year, I decided to bore you all with a brand new list. Below is my list of what I consider to be some of the WORST “horror” movies of all time. You may agree, you may not. This is by no means an all inclusive list. When I started thinking of all of the really bad horror movies out there, I realized that I could go on for days. Here is a starter list to whet your appetite. Some of these I don’t even think Svengoolie would run. Links included to IMDB if you want to know more about the movies.

Frankenhooker – I think the name pretty much says it all

Snoop Dog’s Hood of Horror – I think they used this as inspiration for Flavor of Love

Zombie Strippers – One thing that zombies can add to a strip tease is the slow, methodical movements. Other than that .. things fall off of zombies. Think about it.

Night of the Lepus – “It’s only a rabbit!”

Cat People – Mostly because I just hate cats.

Halloween III: Season of the Witch – The only thing about this one was the catchy tune I used for last years’ countdown. Other than that, Michael should have killed the writer.

Sleepaway Camp – Bad take on the teenage slasher flicks.

Maximum Overdrive – Come on, how afraid of a toaster can you really be?

Any Amityville Sequel – The original still makes me wet myself to this day. The rest … scare me about as much as an episode of Barney

Anaconda – You would think that J-Lo’s butt could have kept this afloat but alas, no.

Sleepwalkers – One of the WORST Steven King adaptations ever.

Dracula 2000 – Jeri Ryan is much hotter as 7 of nine than in this miss by Mr. Craven. He should have kept this one in his dreams.

That’s about it. Before Halloween I will also post my favorite “comedy horror” movies. Until then, remember … wow. These films were so bad I couldn’t even come up with a good quote. I guess I am left hanging in BERRRWYYYYN?!

What Once Was Old Is New Again

This Techtainment Tuesday, I am writing this on my MacBook. It is a personal computer that can operate independently of any other processing source. I am writing this using Microsoft Word. A software program that is installed on my MacBook and can operate independently of any other computing source. I can use wither of these things whether or not I am connected to the internet. This is a huge leap from where computers used to be.

Think back to TRON. Flynn had to log into a terminal, attached to a mainframe to do any type of work. Actually, everyone had to log in to do anything. All was at the control of the MCP. Ferris Bueller was able to change his  attendance record because he hacked into the mainframe computer at the school. Ferris was also able to play a titillating round of Global Thermonuclear War with Joshua, all because of a mainframe.

Mainframe computers for the most part are no more. Even at work, your computer is independent and logs into the network to get files off of the server. You are not using a terminal that taps into a central computers processing power. True, your boss can look at the same por … I mean news sites that you are looking at during the day. They can harvest your emails and instant messages, but it is still an individual computer. This is all starting to change.

“but Bob, I just spent $12,000 to upgrade to a bigger hard drive in my Apple iBookPadTuneTouch!” Don’t worry, that upgrade will be good for at least 3 more hours. The change is not going to happen overnight but it is well on it’s way. I am talking, of course, about “The Cloud”.

I know, I was thinking the same thing … “They let M. Night Shamawhatthehell make another movie????” You would be wrong my friend! (yes they let him make another movie, but that is a blog for another day) I am referring to the online, ethereal storage and application center that is being developed and beefed up.

All the talk these days is of online storage, online software, online operating systems, everything online so that the storage capacity on your computer does not have to be as large. There are those that feel everything can be run on the internet, free from the burden of slow hard drives accessing everything. The security of knowing that if you lose your laptop, or your house burns down that all of your precious, personal, and most secretive information is stored safely on someone else’s server network. Yes, you heard me right. All of your information stored somewhere … out there … beneath the pale moonlight… someone has your info, and is reading it, tonight. But I digress.

I really did not want to get into the privacy and security issues I think are important, what I really want to do is bring the comparison of the cloud to old time mainframe computing. It seems that what is trying to be developed is eventually, your “net/note book/laptop will be noting more than a terminal to “jack into” the web and have anything and everything you need to use right there. No longer will software be “sold” but it will be like going to an internet café and paying an hourly use for any software you use. You won’t have to worry about how you pay for it because everything will be linked to all of your bank accounts and credit cards. After that, “computers” will get smaller and smaller and within a few years we will be asking our computers to locate someone, they will be hooked into our cars and houses. Before you know it we will all be listening to hot dog commercials as radio shows and telling everyone to be well!! I must enhance my calm.

Personally, I think that storing everything on line is going to be a fad. We don’t have the high speed networks NOW to handle what we want to do online. People would get more drawn in and reliant on the internet. (like they aren’t now?) The incidents of children, especially awkward males, never leaving their parents basements will increase ten fold.  Cats and dogs won’t live together but Giga-pets will return and they will reproduce at will until self consciousness is achieved and they create a virus to kill all the cats and dogs to the point where apes will be our pets and then they will revolt and take over the world!

Once again I have gone off track and digressed on a disturbing tangent. To get back to my original point, I will explain … no, is too much, I sum up. The cloud. It’s like going back to mainframes. Would have been a much shorter entry if I just said that huh?

I was out last week after Tori was born and someone said to me “I know you have pictures on your phone!” I then wondered if anyone actually still carried pictures in their wallets? I used to in high school and that was an important thing when selecting a new wallet. How many little insert thingies did it have to hold pictures. Now … everything is on my phone, camera or on Flickr … you know, safely in the “cloud”. Let me know if you still carry, or know of anyone that still carries physical pictures in their wallets.

Well, that is all for today. Until next time, remember … “You are an incredibly sensitive person, who inspires joy-joy feelings in all those around you.”

It’s Time For A Change

Hi. My name is Bob Richardson and I am considering thinking about forming a possible committee to look into whether or not I should decide on forming a focus group that would research the possibility of hiring a consultant who would determine the feasibility of me potentially gathering feedback on helping me decide if I should ponder the possibility of running for office.

In communities all over the area, citizens, just like you, ordinary, every day people, are begging for change. Some of them have a sign they hold up, others just have the tin cup and dirty clothes, but they all are longing for the same thing … money. Too many politicians today ignore this fact and focus on what their opponent has done or not done, and not on what the people need.

If I decide to run, I promise that my campaign will touch on what is important, depending on what I am running for. I will not lie about my opponents during any event that is being recorded. I will not stray from the issues, whatever they may be and I will give up front and honest answers if it is determined that it will help me win.

My opponents, whomever they may be, have voted to kill all flowers on the planet. They have not voted on whether it is an African or European Swallow. They have taken money from the “need a penny” tray without ever adding a penny. They have supported causes that Robot Chicken wouldn’t even parody. I also have it on good authority that 3 of the other candidates actually enjoyed Ishtar. These are not qualities that we wish for the leaders of our next generation of children.

How am I going to make a difference you ask? What are MY qualifications? I was born a number of years ago and have lived my entire life. I have never really cared about politics and still really don’t now. Yes, when I was younger, I was a witch … but I got better. I have been hunting with friends before and managed to NOT shoot anyone. I was never a Russian femme fatale, however I do occasionally enjoy Russian dressing on my salad. I do admit that on occasion, when I was younger, I lost my biscuits after a night of partying, but never lost my desire for them covered with a nice sausage gravy. I know how to deficit spend and in whatever office I hold, I will bring an integrity and professionalism not seen since Mr. Howard, Mr. Fine and Mr. Howard taught the alphabet at Mildew College in 1938.

With this in mind, please turn out to vote and see if I decided to give a damn.

This message was not paid for by any friends of Bob Richardson, in fact, they asked him to not even mention that they were affiliated with him in any way.

Victoria Grace

This is nothing more than to let any of you interested that I have some new pics of Tori posted on Facebook and Flickr. The pics are in a widget at the right when you are on my home page. If you go there you will also get my Herman pics too. You can also click here … Tori Pics … to get just her album, I think.

 

That’s about it for now. I will get some more interesting post when we are a little more awake. 🙂

 

 

Best Birthday Present EVER!

Today, October 6th, is my birthday.

Yesterday, October 5th, at 6:30 p.m., my wife gave me the best birthday gift ever!

My daughter, Victoria Grace was born last night weighing in at 8 lbs, 6 oz and 19 inches.

They will be coming home tomorrow, October 7th which is Jackie’s birthday.

Yes, our birthdays are 5, 6 and 7.

This is also your warning of many, MANY posts to come about little Tori.

Until next time … remember … I’m a DADDY!