Archive for January, 2012

Today Is Another Day

Posted in Nonsense with tags , , , on January 31, 2012 by Bob

I missed blogging yesterday. I have been doing pretty well posting every day but it has been a rough week and a half and I was just tired. Still am pretty tired.  Mrs. Voices has been under the weather, Piper (our American Bulldog) has some medical issues we weren’t quite expecting, Tori has been Tori, wonderful and awesome … but she is 16 months old so … With Mrs. Voices being pregnant AND sick AND due the middle of next month, we are all tired. So, if anyone was worried that I got hit by a car or something, I am fine. I may miss a few days here and there for the next few months as various things unfold but I am not going anywhere for long.

With that out of the way, a few random thoughts have popped into my head as of late. Nothing of major importance or anything, just things.

–       Why do so many homeless people wear camouflage? The would be better seen and get more attention if they worse something snappy and bright like old 80s neon. It would be safer wouldn’t it?

–       No matter what your political leanings are … do we really want our country led by someone named Mitt or Newt? If these are nick names, you men are adults, use your real names. If these ARE their real names …

–       Why, during a review at your job, oh wait … have to have a review first. I will revisit this one next week … maybe.

–       There are more news articles about the fashions at awards shows than anything. HOW do the fashions affect my life?

–       Painting is the most expensive thing to hire someone to do and they don’t even supply the paint. I have nothing else on that except that it sucks.

–       Why is picking out a baby name so damn hard?

–       Why am I listing off a bunch of things that more and more make less and less sense the more I babble?

–       Why do people always say “in case I get hit bay a car”? There can be some better reasons not to be somewhere right? Like “in case my bungee cord breaks” or “in case I’m kidnapped by rabid Emus” or “In case I get so fed up with this place I have a total psychotic break and you find me curled up in the fetal position between the copy machines.”

Will Bob ever finish the new baby room before the new baby comes? Will Tori ever learn the meaning of “no” when it applies to HER? Will the major ever realize that the war is over? For the answers to these and other questions tune into the next episode … of Soap. If you can find it in syndication that is, and even then good luck trying to follow along and relate any of this to whatever episode you can find. Unless it is the one with the devil baby and then you might figure it out.


Color Me Spackled

Posted in How To, Nonsense with tags , , , on January 29, 2012 by Bob

Day something of getting Tori’s new room together went interestingly. Moving the bookshelves into the basement yesterday was not as bad as I thought. This is a room thAt we really never did anything with when we first moved in and just put things in there. Because of this, we never really looked at the walls. We should have.

There were so many holes and divots in the walls that it would have beeb easier to re dry wall. We don’t know what the people before us did but … DAYUM! Of course there was a little. It of my ocd coming into play with me having to find every single imperfection on the wall. It took me close to a total of 6 hrs to spackle this room. That doesn’t even include sanding yet. That was just the initial spackle job.

This week I sand, re-spackle, then prime and do the ceiling paint. Hopefully next weekend we can do the walls with the color on Saturday so I can watch the commercials on Sunday. The game is a rerun so no need to watch that.

Maybe I will win the lottery this week and I can suddenly hire someone to paint.

Call Me Monk

Posted in Nonsense with tags , , , on January 28, 2012 by Bob

We are doing a lot of cleaning right now to get the new room ready to move Tori into so her brother can go in her room which will remain the nursery. As we are doing this, we are trying to go through things and determine if we REALLY need to keep them. There are a lot of things that we are finding, that are making me realize I think I have a little bit of hoarder in me.I find that I have far too many things that I have had for far too long that I should by all rights, get rid of.

Part of my little hoarding issue I think leads to my bit of OCD. I try far too hard and worry far too much about keeping things in pristine condition. I wash t-shirts more carefully than anyone should ever wash a t-shirt. I worry about the littlest stains, scratches, dents and dings on everything that I own. I worry when the dog slobbers even a little on something that will never get ruined from such minor abuse. This is where my inner Monk comes alive.

I have some things that are decades old. I don’t know why I have them, they will never be worth anything, but damn they look nice still. I have a t-shirt that is 5 years old from our honeymoon in Hawaii. I have a t-shirt that is 7 years old from when we started dating. I have a jacket that is close to 20 years old by now I think. I have to learn to let go and realize that it is ok for things to wear out and be replaced. I have to let go of clothes that I have from high school. I have to learn to let go of silly note books that are full of old writing that I don’t even know what they are anymore. I don’t have to keep Tori’s toys in perfect condition. SHE IS A KID! SHE WILL BREAK THINGS! IT HAPPENS! I need help.

I also need to get the hoarding thing out of my system for boxes. Boxes for stereos. Boxes for appliances. Boxes for all kinds of things. We own a house now. We are most likely not going to be moving before whatever items I am keeping these boxes for wear out or need to be replaced. Not only that, but if and when we do move, I am going to be hiring movers to pack everything anyway so new boxes galore. We have too much stuff.

Other things that are moving me toward Monkdom … well, I don’t know if I totally want to go into those because my arch enemies would be able to use those against me. I can’t give them that power over me. Let’s just say I am getting more and more phobic about the weirdest things as I get older.

Well, I need to go sanitize my keyboard now and start making my hermetically sealed suit for when the new baby comes. Nah, I am really not that bad. Yet.




Posted in Nonsense, Tori, TV/Movies with tags , , on January 27, 2012 by Bob

Tori has a new favorite commercial. She screams “weeeeeeeee piggy” and claps whenever it is on. I personally find it annoying, the commercial, not Tori. Geico has had some good commercials and some bad. I consider this to be bad. Tori thinks it is the greatest though so that is ok. And the commercial just came on as I am typing this. Ugh! Pure adrenaline my ass.


I Wish …

Posted in Celebrity Deaths, Nonsense with tags , , , on January 26, 2012 by Bob

I wish that good news, stayed good news.

I wish that I had a job that I loved so much that I hated to leave.

I wish that I didn’t feel overwhelmed lately

I wish that I could get a good night sleep

I wish tomorrow brings a better day

I wish for a million dollars

I wish Juan Luis Pedro Philippo DeHuevos Epstein did not die today

I wish I had more to write about


That’s A Lot

Posted in Nonsense, Wacky News with tags , , on January 25, 2012 by Bob

Yesterday’s post, was post number 500. As of writing this, I have had 28,622 views total. My best single day was 756 views. These numbers do not include email subscribers as far as I can tell. My first post was on 6/29/2009. Last year I blogged almost every single day (missed one) and have kept it going this year so far.

When I look back on all those stats, it is no wonder why I get stymied some days trying to come up with something. I am afraid that I will copy myself. That’s ok, I won’t sue. That means that I have thought up close to 500 different topics to write about over the years. That doesn’t SOUND all that daunting but, it is. At least for me. I am proud of myself. It makes the aches and pains I have, the long nights with the baby or the dog, etc. fade away from memory.

I wish I was watching tv right now. It would give me something to watch and distract me and my blog would be weirder.

The State Of The Blog Address

Posted in Nonsense with tags , , , , , on January 24, 2012 by Bob

I was considering making my own goof ball version of every comment during the president’s address tonight. Then I realized I really didn’t want to watch the whole thing as I could get the important parts in the news or the paper tomorrow. I want to know what is going on, but I don’t want to watch the whole political speech. BTW, Hillary looks like hell.

Back to what I was saying. The state of the blog is … Illinois. That is about all I got. It’s been a rough couple of weeks with Piper’s feet, my shoulder, Tori teething MORE, Tori having a cold AGAIN, Jakie getting Tori’s cold, lack of sleep because of the above and my general lack of ideas and creativity. So, lately this has been a “this is my day” kind of blog … only not that funny.

I am sorry that I have been flooding with boring items as of late. I am really trying to post every day for as long as I can until the new little guy comes. I know I still owe pictures. Tomorrow. I promise. Piper had a follow up appt tonight so running around i am bushed. She is healing nicely btw.

If you want some really, really funny stuff to read while you are waiting for me to be funny again, I highly recommend WhatImeant2say. I have mentioned her blog before. I read lots of blogs, and there are a lot of funny ones out there, but (and no offense to anyone out there) both Mrs. Voices and myself look forward for our email to go off every day for these posts. I literally laugh out loud on damn near every post. I have not been compensated in any way for the endorsement of this blog. (I think I have to say that legally or something)

If you don’t like reading, then how about shopping. There is a great site for Hawaiian shirts. I have also mentioned them before as well, Bad Shirts Good Times. Go there, buy a shirt, tell them I sent you, see if it gets you anywhere. It won’t by the way.

There, I have went from the state of the blog to being a commercial. I love typing when I am doing other things and totally go off topic. Maybe that is what I should do for a while. Hmmmmmmmmm.

In The Headlines

Posted in Nonsense, Wacky News with tags , , , , , , , on January 23, 2012 by Bob

I have said it before, and I will say it again … Sometimes I look at the world and I cry. There are some things in the news that just make me read it and think “what?!” Here are some examples …

• Jay Cutler and Kristin Cavallari, re-engaged again, are having a baby. Feel free to insert your favorite joke here. I still have odds on that they won’t make it work.

• Tracy Morgan was admitted to the hospital. He was not drinking in the high altitude. He just got a little sleepy. Uh huh.

• The victims of the Italian cruise ship disaster, are getting 30% off vouchers for their next cruise. Yeah, THAT will work.

• Seal and Heidi Klum broke up. Sources say this will help Seal’s career. I like Seal as much as the next person but I was not aware that wither of them still had careers to help.

• The sun is blowing up and the earth is going to get microwaved tomorrow or something.

• I am still overly tired and not coming up with things that are too interesting. Although, I did find what I think is an amusing as hell picture.

Naked Pictures!

Posted in Nonsense, Tori with tags , , , on January 22, 2012 by Bob

I don’t really have any, and you should all be thankful for that. I just figured this would be the best way to get you to pay attention with football and American Idol and all.

Just showing up to say hi and to keep the posts going. Tori has been a terror today and my shoulder is really messed up. I hope orthopedists give a volume discount. Basically, I can’t type so well tonight so just a quick hello and I am going to go back to watching Food Network.

And to those curious, Tori is feeling better, Piper is on the mend and I am just falling apart.

What A Day

Posted in Nonsense, Tori with tags , , , on January 21, 2012 by Bob

Some days are great! Some days just suck. Some days are today. It wasn’t a bad day and it wasn’t a great day. I let Piper sleep by herself last night while I went back upstairs and slept in our bed. Piper is doing ok with the cone so I figured I could trust her downstairs. Plus, I really needed to sleep. I still had to wake up early to give Piper her meds and walk her. After that, I got up and snow blowed the driveway and a big patch on the front lawn for Piper to potty without walking through a foot of snow. Yes, I used the snow blower on the lawn.

After that, we went to get a 3D ultrasound of the newest little voice that will be coming in March. We confirmed that yes, he is indeed a he. We were pointed out the “scrotal sack and penis”. Very professional, no euphemisms, which made it even a little funnier. We did get pictures and a CD and DVD so as soon as I have a chance to pull a pic or 2 off the cd, I will get one on here.

While we were out, Tori was fussy as all heck. She didn’t eat a lot this morning and she has a slight fever. She wasn’t feeling very well. We got home but couldn’t get her to sleep because we had to have Piper’s bandages changed and a follow visit that got cancelled last night. I know, this isn’t sounding so much like a bad day yet but, I am getting there.

Piper did fine, Tori finally got a nap. So did Jackie and I, for about 30 min anyway. It came time to get up and get Tori and Piper dinner. Tori still wasn’t eating much but Piper’s appetite is back to normal. She scarfed down her food and water and then went by the front door for our little yard walk. Tori was in the living room with Jackie cuddling and being cute.

I need to put baggies on Piper’s feet so that the snow doesn’t get her bandages wet. (I know, I know … I am getting there) so I was kind of busy when Jackie called from the living room that Tori just got sick on her. I was in the middle of taping myself to Piper’s feet when I heard this so I called that I couldn’t get there at the moment. Jackie was fine with this at the time. As this was happening, Piper decided that as I had my head under her so I could cover the leg that she wasn’t turning to me to get, to let one loose in my face. Oh yeah, did I mention that she was having a little issue with leakage from the anesthetic? So yeah, not really sure how to put this delicately … I got a nice juicy dog fart on my forehead … with a little splatter. I told you it couldn’t be delicate. I asked Jackie if it made her feel better that that happened to me. She laughed hysterically. I think it made her feel better.

Things got better after I washed, sanitized, boiled my face …we ordered a pizza, gave Tori a bath and then this. Hopefully, tomorrow will be better.

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