Archive for September, 2011


Posted in Nonsense with tags , , on September 30, 2011 by Bob

ESPECIALLY when the lights are flashing! We just came back from dinner and as we were at a red light, an ambulance, fire truck and Fire Chief all had to come to the same intersection from the cross street and turn left onto the street across from us. Most people stopped, waited through the many red lights and let the emergency responders through. MOST.

There was one jack ass that was driving in front of the fire truck. He was not pulling over or even slowing down, just trying to stay ahead. He had to stop at the intersection because all directions turned red. As the fire truck pulled up, the light turned green for it, and this jack ass pulled right through the intersection as the truck was turning left. As the others came through, there were other idiots who blew through the intersection as the trucks were coming close so that they could beat the truck turning.


I don’t know the exact wording but it is something like that. You are not important enough to be able to blow off these laws and potentially cause an accident. Sorry, I had to get that off my chest because it pisses me off to no end when people do that. By the way, you are also supposed to pull over and let a funeral procession pass. VERY few people do that.


Do We Really Need #Overuse?

Posted in How To, Nonsense, Tech Stuff with tags , , , , , on September 29, 2011 by Bob

I will admit that I don’t use#twitter all that much. I do know however that the #prudent use of #hashtags can help you find #trendingtopics. It is getting a little #rediculous though that everyone is using them everywhere. As far as I know they are #onlyforuseontwitter. Yet I am seeing them #everywhere … #facebook, #emails and there are even some weirdos who use them in their #blogposts.

Maybe I am just missing something. It must be because I still don’t really understand all this social stuff. I looked up #howtousehashtags and found this article. Maybe I should have actually read it before I #bloggedabouthashtags.

Either way, I still think that they are #overused.


By the way, did you order me a Hawaiian shirt for my bday yet? If you tell them I sent you … they will probably say “who”? But it would be amusing to me.


And Now, Another Word From Another Sponsor

Posted in Nonsense with tags , , , , , on September 28, 2011 by Bob

Ok, I kind of lied. I still don’t have a sponsor, BUT these guys are friends of mine and they are really cool. Not sure how many of you know that I wear Hawaiian shirts every Friday at work between Memorial day and Labor day. I would wear them more often but I don’t like to wear the same shirt twice during a season and I don’t have quite enough shirts to wear for a whole year of Fridays. That and I am not sure if Jackie would let me own 52 Hawaiian shirts.

I guess that I should say WHO this great company is. It is Bad Shirts Good Times. They have some real cool looking shirts for sale and they are reasonably priced for such a high quality shirt. The colors are crisp and clean and they have no caffeine, never had it, and never will. (I just said that, they didn’t. I don’t want anyone to think they have bad slogans that I say)

They are a relatively new company, but I know that they are going to be going places and soon, they will corner the Hawaiian shirt market in the NW Suburbs of Chicago…maybe even further.

According to FCC rules, or someone’s rules, I have to mention that I am not being compensated for anything I have said in this blog.

Just go buy a shirt from this fine retailer will ya? You want a shirt. I know you do. If you don’t, my birthday is coming up Oct. 6th. I like Hawaiian shirts.

Oh yeah, their blog is here. It promises to be quite amusing.

An Outlet For My Angst

Posted in Nonsense, TV/Movies with tags , , , , , , , on September 27, 2011 by Bob

I just saw a commercial for a new show called H8R. Apparently this is a show where normal people, like me, can go on t.v. and tell why they hate celebrities. The celebrities then come to visit the people to try to convince them that they are not douche bags. That is how I understand the basic premise, I really haven’t looked that closely at it … yet.

Normally, I would not even give a show like that a second look. I could care less about the celebrities and how they are crying that someone doesn’t like them. This show is a little different though. The premise might be fun. There are also quite a few celebs I wouldn’t mind digging into on national television. (I am STILL waiting for Megan Fox to convince me she isn’t a mega bitch) I just have to come up with a good list and make myself a little more white trash I am suspecting, before I can get on that show. It’s almost too easy.

Of course, I will never actually WATCH the show, but it sounds maybe fun to be ON the show.

My Mommy Taught Me To Share

Posted in Nonsense with tags , , , , , , on September 26, 2011 by Bob

However, I didn’t think I would have to share as much as some social platforms want me to. (Yes, I am going there again). I ranted the other day about how Facebook changed again and how I hated it. I still don’t like what they did. Put my friends statuses in order please. You don’t know what is important to me. The other thing that bothers me is that stupid ticker thing. It is distracting and I don’t care what friends of friends of friends are doing or when a friend comments on another person that I don’t know. If we can see all this, why bother having a friends list of any kind anyway? If everyone can see everyone elses stuff. Whatever.

Anyhoo, I am going to go to my twitter account going forward and tell people everything I am doing every minute of the day. When I eat a gummy bear, you will know. When I go to the bathroom, you will know. When I do ANYTHING … YOU will know.

Don’t worry, I am too lazy for that. You won’t know anything.

We’re Getting There

Posted in Nonsense, Tori with tags , , , , , , on September 25, 2011 by Bob

In more ways than one.

A) We are getting closer to my vacation time. Right now it feels like a big mistake waiting until the end of the year to take the bulk of my vacation. I know thought that I will think differently once the time comes for me to be away from work though.

B) We are getting closer to the end of the year when I can take a small break from blogging … maybe. I have felt 2 ways about posting every day … exhausted and proud. It is something I make sure I do even when we go out so it is a feeling of accomplishment. Of course there are the days I look at the computer and think … “Crap”

C) We are getting closer to Tori’s 1st birthday. FIRST BIRTHDAY! Holy crap where did the time go?! It literally feels like it was just yesterday that we were bringing her home. It is so true what everyone says that it goes by so fast and to treasure every moment. I really do try to. If I didn’t have this annoying thing called work, I would stay home with her in a heartbeat! I love every little thing she does and I wish we could catch it all. I have seriously considered setting up cameras around that would tape her all the time. Yeah, I could be THAT dad. After all, I need to have a bunch of pictures of her for when she is famous and on Letterman right?

Happy Birthday Jim Henson

Posted in Celebrity Deaths, Nonsense, TV/Movies with tags , , , , on September 24, 2011 by Bob

A simple title and a simple wish to a man who touched the lives of millions and still does today. He helped put the voices in my brain. In respect to the Muppet master, I will not embed the video of me singing the Rainbow Connection yet again. (you didn’t think I wasn’t going to put it in here at all did you?)

Happy Birthday Jim Henson. We miss you.

How To: Enjoy A Festival

Posted in How To, Nonsense, Tori with tags , , , , , , , , , , on September 23, 2011 by Bob

That’s right, it’s another VIMB “How To” moment.

Today, we bring you “How to enjoy a festival”.

1. Find a festival

2. Make sure that your daughter’s godfather is in the band that is playing.

3. Wrap your baby up in a bunch of clothes if it is cold

4. Eat plenty of what I like to call “carny food”

5. have a beer

6. Give the baby to your wife.

7. Have a beer.

8. Have a Beer.

9. Have a funnel cake.

10. Have a beer.

11. Have the wife drive home.

12. When you get home, blog a “how to” list and promote your daughter’s godfather’s band … The Modern Day Romeos!

Have We Lost A Bit Of Innocence

Posted in Music, Nonsense with tags , , , , , , on September 22, 2011 by Bob

I was doing a little channel surfing on my XM radio today on the way home. Tori was asleep in the back and so I had the volume a little lower and was scanning for something a little “softer”. I hit the 70s on 7 station and stopped there. I can’t for the life of me now remember what song was on, but whatever it was, it got me thinking about something.

As the song was playing I was thinking, hmmm, I wouldn’t have to change the station if this song was playing and Tori was old enough to be influenced. I remember the song was from 1976 because I remember thinking that I was 7 year old when the song came out. I then started thinking about music from when I was that age. I know that I listened to whatever my mom was listening to, or whatever was on in the grocery store, in other people’s cars, etc. So forth and so on.

I then started thinking that music must have degraded in the 30 some odd years since I was listening to whatever station was on (or maybe it is the parents making bigger deals out of nothing), because back then, we didn’t have, neigh, didn’t NEED to have Radio Disney, or Kid’s Bop or any kid’s version of any song that changes the lyrics to be “friendly” and change the meaning of the song. We just had music.

I realized I really don’t have much more to say about that. I also realize that I have been pretty grumpy and bitchy the last few days. Must be the full moon or that whole sympathetic pregnancy thing and I am just all hormone imbalanced. Wow, I don’t even want to know what I am going to have to do to get my man card back after all this.

An Open Letter To Facebook

Posted in Celebrity Deaths, Nonsense, Tech Stuff, Wacky News with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 21, 2011 by Bob

Dear Facebook,

I would like to formally congratulate you on the good sense to just bow out and let Google+, Twitter and Linkedin win in the Social networking arena. Your “improvements” are non user friendly, and it is wholly unprofessional to not have an opt-out or customizable option. I do however appreciate the fact that your latest “upgrade” will more than likely increase the value of my Google stock.

I can emphatically say that you have no idea what stories or updates are of interest to me, you have no way of knowing who my close friends or coworkers are, and if you want to decide who I see updates from, then you should also decide which of my bills you should pay for me.

The scrolling updates bar on the right side of the screen proves that you do not know who I want to see updates from. It is distracting and there is no way to easily see the entire conversation that a comment was posted about. To use industry terms … YOUR UI SUCKS ASS!

Mark *uckerburg, in the spirit of  you not being a dick, I expect to have a formal apology from you, posted to everyone’s wall, by tomorrow morning. This should state that you screwed up, the constant screwing with our lives was a mistake, and that you are splitting the company up into at least 3 different entities.

I, along with many other bloggers, investor groups, developers, cat hoarders and out of work cartoonists, have been adding pieces to the full page newspaper obituary for Facebook for some time now. We do appreciate the fact that month after month you make it easier and easier to write. The only thing that we ask is that you formally change the name of your company to Fecesbook so that it matches our obituary.

I hope that this letter finds you buried ass deep in complaints and that you die a quick painful death as a Social Site.


The staff at

P.S. If you find it in your heart to sue me for anything, I welcome the publicity and notoriety.

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