Stimulate This

This weekend, I received in the mail, a letter from the Census Bureau telling me that I was going to receive a letter from the Census Bureau that will be asking me to fill out a special census count. In this letter telling me about the letter, there was a flyer in different languages saying the same thing. I immediately was upset by the waste that this obviously cost the American taxpayer. First, the time it took to put that together, the cost of printing and the cost of mailing … only to tell us they will be sending something. Why couldn’t they just send the Census and have us fill it out in one mailing? It seemed like a colossal waste of time and money, until I realized this was probably a stimulus package of some sort.

Of course, it has to be. The government, in all of its wisdom, decided that they would stimulate the economy by doing everything twice, thereby adding money to the economy in the form of wages for the printers, money going to the post office so they don’t have to close on Saturdays, and more money to all the people that put the flyers and letters together. Not to mention the paper mills, the recycling centers to deal with all the extra paper that everyone will ignore and throw out. GENIUS!

I’m glad that our government, no matter what party it is run by, and what department is represented, is doing the best that it can to stimulate and rejuvenate our economy.

 

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Personalize Me

Mrs. Voices wants to get a personalized license plate. I want to get one. She can’t because she leases her car and apparently you can’t do that on a leased vehicle in Illinois. I haven’t gotten one because well, I drive a mini van and it is tough to come up with something that isn’t mini van, but not something that makes you look like a total douche.

What is a douche plate you ask? Well, there are plenty and I am sure you all have seen them. They are basically the plates that make you go “really?” I won’t even try to list them all because, well there are a lot. The most asinine plates however, are the ones that say the name of what you are driving. “MY BMW 5” or “ESCLDE 6”.

Thanks captain douchebag.

I mean, you are paying extra for these plates and all you can come up with is the type of car you are driving? The manufacturer already plastered that on the back of your car for you.  The worst part about these is that they have a number at the end. The number on the end makes them cheaper I think. If you are going to have a stupid plate, go all out and spend the douche dollars you have.

So, what are some of the stupidest, or best plates you have almost rear ended trying to read?

 

 

AWWW Nuts!

For some reason, Alex thought his was the funniest thing on earth. And everyone likes a laughing baby right?

 

 

Drop ‘Em!

I blame this post on severe lack of sleep lately.

I have been wondering lately about something that is really bothering me lately. Not really bothering me I guess, more of a curiosity. And strangely it’s been lately. And it is odd … lately. How many more times can I say lately? It is men undoing their pants and almost dropping them all the way to the floor when using a urinal. The whole point of the urinal is so that you don’t have to do that. It’s not like I am looking at guys in the men’s room but, when you are standing there and someone drops trou next to you, you notice. Maybe zippers are becoming too expensive to put on pants.

Why is this necessary??

Celebrity Death Watch – Another Two-Fer

Well folks, it’s apparently a good thing I did not make any resolutions this year. I would be horrible at keeping them. As it is I am slacking off on this here blog of mine. I missed the Celebrity death watch last month and I never did get up my “fanciful” celeb death predictions. What does that mean? That means you get a 2fer this month. There have a been a lot of things I want to wax poetically on, but I usually think about it at work and well, I just can’t write at work so, there ya have it. So, while Tori is watching Mickey Mouse and is occupied, let’s get these deaths banged out shall we? (ok, it’s much later than when I started so just to be clear, Tori is not still up watching Mickey, I am watching the Hawks kick ass!)

January

Patti Page – 85 – Singer; How Much is that Doggie in the Window – Jan 1

Michael Patrick Cronan – 61 – Named  the TiVo and Kindle – Jan 1

Ned Wertimer – 89 – Ralph the Doorman on The Jeffersons – Jan 1

Keith Ratliff – 32 – American gun enthusiast, producer of the FPS Russia YouTube channel, shot – Jan 3

Tony Lip – 82 – Actor: The Sopranos – Jan 4

Sol Yurick – 87 – Author: The Warriors – Jan 5

Emmet Forrest – 85 – Founder of the Andy Griffith Museum – Jan. 12

Conrad Bain – 89 – Mr. Drummond on Diff’rent Strokes – Jan. 14

Pauline Phillips – 94 – Dear Abby – Jan. 16

John Powers – 67 – Author – Jan. 17

Stan Musial – 92 – Hall of fame baseball player – Jan. 19

Patty Andrews – 94 – Last Andrews Sister – Jan. 30

February

Ed Koch – 88 – Mayor of New York, People’s Court Judge – Feb 1

Robin Sachs – 61 – Actor Buffy, Galaxy Quest– Feb 1

Barney – 12 – George W. Bush’s dog – Feb 1

John Kerr – 81 – Actor – Feb 2

Ralph Braun – 72 – Founder of Braun – Feb 8

Lolong – ?? – Largest Saltwater Croc in captivity – Feb 10

W. Watts Biggers – 85 – creator of Underdog – Feb 10

Mindy McCready – 37 – country singer and train wreck – Feb 17

Lou Myers – 77 – Actor A Different World – Feb 19

Cleotha Staples – 78 – Member of the Staple Singers – Feb 21

Magic Smith – 75 – Blues Singer – Feb 21

Paul Mcilhenny – 68 – CEO of Tobasco – Feb 23

C. Everett Koop – 96 – Ex-surgeon general – Feb 25

Richard Street – 70 – Singer The Temptations – Feb 27

Dale Robertson – 89 – Actor Death Valley Days – Feb 27