Archive for the Nonsense Category

The Grammys: My Unqualified Assesment

Posted in Music, Nonsense, TV/Movies with tags , , , , on February 16, 2016 by Bob

So, I didn’t watch the Grammy’s last night because … Blackhawks. That and I really don’t have any idea of who most of the people up for awards even are or what any of the music is. (These days, my musical repertoire includes the themes for Paw Patrol, Shimmer & Shine and the like)  I figure I can watch anything that was really good (performance wise) on line today or tomorrow, once I hear what is good and what isn’t. This is so I can avoid the brain tumor and bleeding eyes and ears I received a few years ago watching some abomination that Nicki Minaj put forth.

As I look through the list of winners, I realize that I STILL have no clue what is really going on in the music world. I know a few names of artists and songs. For example, I know of Uptown Funk because my kids sing it all the time. I know of Bruno Mars because of the before mentioned song that made me spit take when I heard my children sing it for the first time (also the first time I heard it).

I know of Taylor Swift, although I wish I didn’t, and I am aware of her album 1989 due to the endless commercials that Xfinity had telling me to experience it. I declined.

I am familiar with Skrillex because it is fun to say although I admit, I couldn’t tell you anything he/she/it does.

I also see that Justin Bieber wasn’t REALLY killed in Zoolander 2. Marking THAT movie off my list now.

I know Buddy Guy, Ricky Martin, Louis CK and Jimmy Carter (I can really bust a move to some of his earlier work).

I can’t remember if I have heard any Glen Campbell (too soon?) and um … that’s about it.

Out of the many people/songs I don’t know by name or instant recognition, Alabama Shakes is something I thought you got from Southern Comfort withdrawal, pimping a butterfly just doesn’t make sense and I may have to search out Snarky Puppy just because I like the name.

I know there is a lot more to the Grammy’s than the awards but, I don’t get most of it. I will probably look up Lady Gaga’s performance so that I can pretend I am relevant since she apparently is.

Outside of that, I will continue to over-indulge in Schoolhouse Rock which my children are now addicted to. It was fun listening to it once an hour … once a week. Not so much everyday for 40 minutes straight.

 

On a side noteI still have a picture of my dog as my main image. I still need a better image up there. Any suggestions?

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A Half A Year Not Remembered

Posted in Holiday, Nonsense, Uncategorized, Wacky News with tags , , on December 31, 2015 by Bob

I would like to say that the title means I was drunk for half the year. Nope. Really, it means that I haven’t posted since June so there isn’t much to remember. I am back because I wanted to make sure that I got one last post in for the year. I like cutting it close. This isn’t going to be a top ten list, or a year in review. I don’t want to risk overusing those themes and getting banished from the internet. I didn’t even know that was possible.

What I WAS going to do, was make a post of the words/phrases that have been so overused they made a “banished list”.

It became problematic however, when I saw what some of the words were. Some of them I never heard of so I have no hope of using them. I don’t know what “manspreading” is, but I am pretty sure I have been doing that for at least the last 10 years. Doing it right now in fact as I sit here typing and eating caramel corn from Garret’s.

I mean, do you really need to be a stakeholder in some price point to be able to break the internet with your bae (still not sure what that one means)?

So, if anyone wants to call a presser and we can walk it back to the vape point where we find the secret sauce that will start the conversation.

As it is getting close to that time, I would like to wish you all a very happy New Year. I would stay longer but the physicality of writing this is taxing. I hope that everyone you know is giving you life throughout the new year. I think. I don’t really know what that means either.

Be sure to tune in next week at some point as I WILL be doing my celebrity death predictions for the year. I MIGHT even do a quick re-cap on what transpired … or who Expired last year.

In the immortal words of Frank Bartles … “Thank you for your support.”

Valetine’s Day – Day Care Edition

Posted in Alex, Holiday, Nonsense, Tori, Uncategorized with tags , , , on February 13, 2015 by Bob

It is Valentine’s Day tomorrow. A day where men get in trouble, new relationships are solidified or ended and feelings are crushed throughout the world. For the young among us, it is a time to get bags full of candy and pencils and stickers and … wait, what?

Maybe it is just because I am too old to remember, or because I am repressing memories of rejection en masse but, the vague recollections I have of Valentine’s day as a child, were getting a few cards in a paper lunch bag taped to the front of my desk. Granted, I have NO memories of Valentine’s before grade school but I experienced that today dropping the kids off.

At first, we were just planning on giving out the little cards that come with a sticker. Thought that was going to be good enough. When I picked up Tori yesterday, a few friends already had passed out some Valentine’s. With packets of Goldfish, and a little gift bag of a few things. I called Mrs. Voices and told her to stop at the store. Glad I did. When we got to “school” this morning, little bags of goodies abounded.

A friend of mine called it the “Valentine mompetition” and I heartily agree. What I do remember is getting the cards, maybe a box of chalk hearts … not an entire swag bag worthy of the Oscars. All I know is that I told Mrs. Voices … “I don’t want to be THAT parent that totally cheaps out.”

It seems to be just the evolution of things. It also happens at birthdays. The kids have a party, give out goodie bags, but then also give out bags of treats at school as well. It must be because of the whole, “must include everyone” mentality. To make sure that no one gets left out.

While writing this, I have decided that it is because I am getting cranky as I age. Let the kids have their fun Bob. They are kid’s for cryin’ out loud. If you want to be the cheapskate so be it. At least their mommy is cool.

Best … Post … Ever …

Posted in Nonsense on January 18, 2015 by Bob

Is what was in my brain this morning as I was moving from dream to waking. Then children climbed into my bed and jumped on my mid-section. Now, this is what you get.
Thank you and good day to you.

The Birds Made Me Angry

Posted in Nonsense with tags , , on January 12, 2015 by Bob

I had a Dr. appointment today so I decided to take the day off work. Since I was home alone for the day, I decided I would open up one of the phone games I haven’t played in probably a year at least, Angry Birds. I am sorry I did that.

When it was at it’s peak of initial popularity, I put off playing Angy Birds for a long time. When I finally installed it, the appeal was the simplicity. You throw a bird at some thing. Occasionally, you hit the bird a second time and it exploded, or got bigger or had a light saber or whatever depending on what version you were playing. Since I am one that does every update whether I need it or not, Birds has been updating without me looking at the game in ages. It was not the same.

I think it was the “Space” version I opened. There were all these extra things that I had to do. I started tapping the icons at the top and had NO clue what was going on. Things vortexed (is that a word?), exploded, warped, transported … all kinds of things. I grew up in the 80s when video games were a joystick and the occasional fire button. Atari was my friend. Angry Birds has gotten too big for my britches.

Well, that’s about it Doc. Thanks for listening. Since this was short, can I credit the time for our next session?

Older … Colder

Posted in Nonsense with tags , on January 5, 2015 by Bob

Driving to work this morning, I passed a high school bus stop. There was one kid standing waiting for the bus … wearing a short sleeve shirt and jeans. I live near Chicago. It was -7 this morning.

It must be a youth thing. I remember, vaguely, when I was a kid, we could stay outside in the winter for hours. We would come home with wet gloves, hats and coats, mom would get us some hot chocolate and all was right with the world. Youngsters think nothing of walking around ill equipped for the weather. Me … ?

I warm my car up in the morning. I wear a hat, gloves and a really warm coat. I have been tempted to wear snow pants to work. I yell at the kids to not play in the snow on the way into daycare … not because I don’t want them to play, but because I want to get inside quicker.

It has to be a product of advancing age. Seniors are always colder. They move to Florida and Arizona.

Do I have a point? Not really. I just couldn’t believe that kid had NO COAT!!!

Here We Go Again

Posted in Nonsense with tags , , , on January 4, 2015 by Bob

Dear everyone that lives in the northern part of Illinois: IT IS NORTHERN ILLINOIS!

It is going to snow, it is going to be cold. If you don’t like it and/or are surprised EVERY DAMN YEAR … I hear Arizona is nice this time of year.

 

Dear media outlets in the northern part of Illinois: IT IS NORTHERN ILLINOIS!

It is not ALWAYS a “Storm Of The Century” when it snows. It is not ALWAYS the top news story when it is cold out. We have deep wind chills. We always have. We always will. Don’t interview jack asses who drive 75 m.p.h. on icy roads and end up in a ditch, and try to pass them off as shocked and mistreated by the weather.

Buy a coat, buy a shovel, don’t drive like an idiot and deal with it.

Thank you and good night.

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