I didn’t want to do it. I avoided it for so long. Normally, I just watch, both of them. I had an invitation to join a while ago but I really didn’t want to pay. Then I found out they were both free.
What I thought was harmless, turned out to be addicting. I thought I could do them just once a day but, they haunted my every thought. Possessed my every waking moment with images of what they could give me. It seemed so harmless at first. Then I found out that I couldn’t go as fast as I wanted to without paying. I couldn’t afford that.
I started touching them every few hours, planning my work day around them. Seeing how far they would let me go before emptying my wallet. I found the more I wanted, the longer I had to wait.
I came up with a plan. I would save as much as I could, and then binge. It’s hard. It takes discipline. The waiting is torture, but the result is gratifying on the most obscene levels.
I need an intervention. I need to realize that no one cares. Even when I try to involve my friends, it is still something that is only for me. It will not make me a better person. It will not make me famous. It will not make me rich. I could lose my job, my friends, my family.
This has been wonderful therapy. I know what I know have to do. While I can not stop, I can resolve that I will never spend money while I am doing it. I will not buy additional coins, clams or donuts. I will not purchase anything “In App”. Homer and Peter will just have to settle for the fact that I am a cheap skate and will play for free until the day they are cancelled … or until my iPhone dies.
Voicesinmybrain 