They are now running. Running all over the collective everything. Don’t get me wrong, I love zombies as much as the next guy however; the zombie apocalypse is not zombies taking over the planet as most people expect, it is the over saturation of zombie culture.
I learned to do special effects makeup when I was in college. I am in no way good enough to be on Face Off, nor have I kept up on any new techniques if there are any. I don’t know how to air brush, sculpt and a lot of the other stuff that they do. (I do operate a pretty mean vac-u-form machine though) The one thing that I was always good at though was the basic, last
Bill Hinzman as the cemetery zombie from Night of the Living Dead (1968). (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
minute zombie make-up.
In college (both times) I had people come to me at the last minute with cries of “I have no costume, what can you do for me?!” My answer was always the same, “Night of the Living Dead”. It was simple, quick and didn’t require a lot of major technique. Back then, it was even still called Night of the Living Dead make-up. As recently as Beetlejuice (recent of course is relative) Lydia asked the Maitlands “are you gross under there? Are you Night of the Living Dead under there?” Zombies were mindless, autonomous, flesh eating machines that you could simply outrun, out drive and out smart. A simple .22 to the frontal lobe and they were done.
But I digress.
Today, zombies are as prevalent as those insipid vampires. Because of all things zombie, I am wondering if people are going to eventually get sick of zombies. Zombies became popular because it was the most feasible “real life” monster. Stories of voodoo zombies have been around for as long as there has been voodoo. They are actually loosely based in fact. (prove me wrong. I dare you. No really, I may be uttering total BS here) Zombies could be easily killed with no special weapons like needed for vamps and wolves. You could get away from them relatively easy as they couldn’t think. If you weren’t slow or stupid, zombies were relatively harmless as monsters went.
Now, there are zombies on every corner and every new iteration of zombie is smarter, faster and more dangerous. Some of these ‘upgrades’ are destroying the very meaning of zombie. And don’t go telling me “they aren’t called zombies anymore, the PC term is living impaired.” Bite me. Get it?
There have always been odd ball whack jobs that think they are vampires, forming their night clubs, drinking blood and getting fake teeth. I am not talking about the Porphyria people out there, I am talking about the nut jobs that inspire episodes of C.S.I. Are we going to start having groups of people that think they really are zombies and start living as such? Will we have people volunteering to have bits of their flesh eaten by their psycho club mates? Bath salts aside, this just can’t happen!
This Halloween I know I am going to see more zombies than I did last year than I did the year before that. They will increase again next year I am sure until people either A) get sick of zombies or B) a zombie apocalypse actually does happen. To be sure, my rant is tongue in cheek. Who’s tongue and who’s cheek I am not sure, I do know though that we need to stop fixating on one monster at a time. Where is the monster affirmative action? Years ago we had Count Chocula, Boo Berry, Franken Berry and the wolf thing who’s name escapes me right now. We have let them slide to the wayside. (although it IS getting close to them coming back for a limited time if past years are to be followed)
I guess to sum it all up, I AM GETTING SICK OF FREAKIN’ ZOMBIES! There, I said it. I will continue to love zombies in the purest Romeroian form. I will find no need to double tap a zombie. I do not want to watch zombies dancing in the street. I do not want to see them at a H.S. Prom or riding motorcycles in Zombie Town. I know of what I speak as I, myself, a few years ago, jumped on the bandwagon and portrayed a zombie celeb. Yes, I am ashamed.
Be sure to tune in next week when our guest will be zombie Gore Vidal here on the lunch hour.
Voicesinmybrain 