Archive for Woodfield Mall

I Went Bra Shopping

Posted in Nonsense with tags , , , , , , on September 1, 2013 by Bob

A second post tonight since I kind of slacked off on the death watch this month. Today, the family went to the mall. It was the first time that our little voices were exposed to the mall. I normally detest going to malls for a number of reasons, the least of which is my time spent as a mall rat in the ‘80s.

We are having family pictures taken soon and we needed some new clothes to wear. Since I work for a large retailer we went there for my discount. We traveled to the large mall by us, Woodfield Mall as the store would have more of a selection than the 2 stores that are closer to us. We got a bunch of clothes and then went to lunch. In the mall. Tori had her first experience with chopsticks. She was pretty good with them. I digress. The real reason for this post…

Mrs. Voices needed a new bra. She decided she couldn’t get one for 20% off at Sears (I mean the large retailer I work for), so we walked across the mall to Victoria’s Secret. I think it was maybe only the 3rd time in my life that I was in VS. I think the last time I was there, I was in my early 20’s, no kids and looking for a gift for a girlfriend at the time. Before that, it was probably when I was in my teen years and I was being a pervert walking through with my friends looking at the underwear. Regardless, the common images of VS come from the winged models and catalogs that young boys who couldn’t get a hold of Playboy used to … well … you know.

This was nowhere to be seen

This was nowhere to be seen

If you haven’t been in a VS lately, I got news for you. The images are GREATLY exaggerated. First off, the people working there, you would think would be some of the hottest women since they are trying to sell the hottest clothes. Yeah, not really. Maybe it is just the store I went to but, I didn’t see anyone there that made me want to leave my kids in the car when I walk into the store. When it comes to the clientele, most would think that the sexiest of people shop there. There were more strollers in that store than at Babies R Us. And the ratio of bedonka donk to spandex worthy … WAY too heavy on the bedonka donk. People of Walmart must have had a bus tour today. Basically, the sexiest things in the store, beside my wife, were the headless mannequins.

 

WAY more of this. A crime against spandex.

WAY more of this. A crime against spandex.

To sum up, Victoria’s Secret is far from a place that any male should feel ashamed of going into. I never thought that it would be “family friendly”. Either that or I am just getting really old.

 

On the plus side, I saw a slightly thinner version of Paul Blart complete with Segway riding through the mall. It was even more sad than Paul though because this guard actually had to wear a helmet. Wish I would have gotten a picture. It was the highlight of the day.

 

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