Ode To Black Friday

Actually, it is more of an ode to cheap shopping but, with today being black Friday and all, I thought that I would dig up this old ditty that I wrote probably close to 15 years ago or so with some friends of mine at the bar. Actually, I may have stolen most of it from someone else but I can’t remember who so … if you wrote this, and you read this, let me know so I can give credit where credit is due.

K-mart to buy some shoes (Electric avenue)

Now in the malls there are bargains
And there are lots of deals to be found
No need to clip out de coupons
Cause der are deals all over de town

Good God
We gonna walk down to Kmart to buy some shoes
Dey only cost a dollar (repeat)

Please don’t go shop at de Walmart
And all the Venture’s closed up last year
And if you go out to Target
You can’t afford to cover your feet

Oh yes
We gonna walk down to Kmart to buy some shoes
Dey only cost a dollar (repeat)

In aisle 8…in isle 8…by automotive…near pet supply

Most stores are 24 hours
so you can shop all day and all night
and things will only get cheaper
when they go pull out the blue light

in isle 8…in isle 8…choices are many…sizes are right

shop it in the daytime-shop it in the night
shop it when Rosie O’don-donnel, and Penny Marshall fight

 

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I Think I Am Getting Soft

Last night Jackie and I watched our recorded episode of the Deadliest Catch season premier. It is one of the few “reality” shows that I willingly watch. I am not sure if there are many people that haven’t heard that Capt. Phil Harris, one of the main characters on the show died earlier this year. They haven’t mentioned it on the show yet but watching the show, knowing what happens later in the season was really weird.

!!!SPOILER ALERT!!!

I have always wanted to say that … anyway, I am sure that the show was edited together with the intent of showing as much of Captain Phil as possible, and using as much foreboding language as they could find. The first episode has a lot of Phil and the other captains talking about “making it home alive” and “living for the fishing season” and other such things. I heard Phil say something along those lines and I cringed. It was a little creepy at times.

There was also a fight between two of the other captains. Who got in the middle to break it up? Phil. Showing that he was one of the more level headed folks. The next thing was Phil and Sig swapping deck hands. Phil sent his own son to the other boat to be humbled a little. This would not have been that big of a thing, and maybe would have been even amusing except that you know that Phil wouldn’t be able to spend that time with his son. We knew it was precious time … he didn’t.

All in all it was bittersweet to see the season begin for me. I like the show, but at the same time I almost wish it wasn’t coming back so I could have had a clean break from Capt. Phil. He was and always will be my favorite on that show. Knowing that something is going to happen in the middle of the series … sucks. I got a little misty and was on the verge of being depressed the whole time we were watching.

On the other hand, Captain Sig is still selling his frozen fish products at fine store everywhere. Actually, now that I think about it, I have only seen them sold at Walmart. Fish from a discount retailer. Makes me think of Airplane every time. I’ll have the lasagna thank you very much.

Until next time …

A New Moon Rises

So, this afternoon while Jackie was off at a bachelorette party, I was instructed to go to Walmart. Normally, this is not a big deal. I usually do most of the shopping because I do not shop, I buy. I can go into a grocery store and get 2 weeks of groceries for Jackie and I, and food for a holiday dinner for the entire family (9 people) in about 20 min. Walmart takes me a little longer because NOTHING there is in a logical place. Still, I can get in and out relatively quick.

We needed a few cleaning supplies and I needed some body wash, and an onion so I could make corned beef hash tomorrow to use up the rest of the leftover corned beef. I also got a few other things that I knew we needed. Um, I think I digressed from my original point which I can’t remember what is was … OH YEAH!!

So, since I was going anyway, I was told to pick up the newly released New Moon vampire movie. First, they aren’t even by the movies. The movies are by the cameras in a separate display. A number of different versions are there. I picked a double disk something with exclusive scenes of someone doing something in some town that a story of some sort is based on that is only sold at Walmart. So I pick this up and the “I’m retired but I work at Walmart on the weekends because I can’t stand my wife’s nagging” clerk told me on the other side they might still have the bundled movie set that comes with a calendar and I could look at the “action figures”. Come on. I may not look 40 but I certainly don’t look like a 15 year old girl who wants a vampire doll.

Up to the checkout I go and NONE of the “fast lanes” are open. I am a little annoyed that Walmart got rid of their self check out lanes. I LOVE those at Jewel. But I digress. So I find this lane that has 2 guys in front of me and another guy gets in line behind me. ALL of us had New Moon in one form or another. ALL of us were sent out in the snow to get it. ALL of us had said we were NOT going to go out at midnight last night to get it. Which is why we were all in line right now. We stood and all joked about the fact we were buying it for our wives. We also decided that it was good that WE went to buy it and not them because of the large displays of “stuff” they had. We all agreed it was cheaper this way. I felt as I bonded a little at Walmart checkout. We should have all gone out for a beer. Why I needed to share this … I have no clue. Just thought it was amusing that there were so many of us buying the same movie at the same time.

I saw a trailer this week for a new movie coming out called “Kick-Ass”. I looked it up and apparently it is based on some comic book but, to me it looks an awful lot like a remake of Mystery Men but with kids. Oh well.

Until next time remember … I’m a Pantera’s box you do not wanna open.