The Day After The Day Of

I know I am 24 hours late with my review of the SUPER BOWL (bring it on NFL) but, since I haven’t read anyone’s blogs with their reviews, I figured I could write my little bit of nonsense without being jaded by other peoples thoughts.

Pregame – Didn’t watch any of it. I was watching Elmo and other Sesame Street with Tori curled up in my lap. Much more fun.

National Anthem and America – I don’t like Kelly Clarkson. I think she screams everything but I guess it was ok. The other thing was sung by country people and well, that says it all.

The first half – I missed a lot of it because I was playing with Tori.

The halftime show – I am not a Madonna hater, but I do think she is self absorbed and conceited. She looked her age moving around on stage. The guy on the tight rope was pretty cool though. Her new song, talk about the conceit factor.

The second half – The Giants won.

The stupidest question always asked before the second half – “What’s the key to winning in the second half?” SCORING THE MOST POINTS MORON!

The commercials – I was pretty much underwhelmed by the commercials this year. There were a few good ones: The Doritos baby, The Doritos dog (I am not a cat fan), and I always am a sucker for an etrade baby commercial. There were a few others that I liked but … meh.

The post game – Thankfully very short.

I guess the fact that I am only a casual football fan to begin with has something to do with my lackadaisical attitude. Oh well, I didn’t have any money on the game or any other interest in it so all is good. Hate me for hating on Madge if you will. Until next time.

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I’m Still here

I know most of you won’t be reading this until later because of the Super Bowl. Uh oh, I said Super Bowl. Damn … did it again. Super Bowl Super Bowl Super Bowl. Had to get it out. Wonder if I will get sued for saying that. Anyhoo, just wanted to let you all know I am still here. Been a bit under the weather.

This past week there was a nuclear power plant near here that lost power and had to partially shut down. They were using backup generators. This kind of doesn’t make sense. A power plant that generates power, loses power. Can’t they just give themselves power? Like just switch an extension cord from somewhere? Yeah, that’s all I really got on this.

Enjoy the game, the SUPER BOWL and I will let you know if I get sued. Super Bowl.

The Litigation Olympics

 

I had a totally different topic today but on my way home I heard a story on the radio about the Redneck Olympics. Redneck Olympics. Redneck Olympics. I say it that many times because the Redneck Olympics are being sued by the United States Olympic Committee for using the word Olympics. Apparently the USOC owns the word that is thousands of years old and they are as bitchy about people using it as the NFL is about people using Super Bowl.

I have always been curious as to how much it takes before one of these conceited organizations would come after me for using one of there copyrighted items. Would Disney come after me if I said “Mickey Mouse is a transvestite” and put an image of Mickey in a dress? Will the NFL come after me if I open a restaurant and serve soup and call it the “Super Bowl”?

I wonder how long it would take the USOC to come after me when I start my first annual Blogger Olympics. What ARE the blogger Olympics? I have no clue. I want to start something just to piss off the all powerful self indulgent folks over at the USOC. I like to start trouble. They have made the Olympics into a joke as far as I am concerned. It isn’t for athletes anymore it is for making money and for politics.

So, until next time, remember…Olympics, Olympics, Olympics, Super Bowl Super Bowl Super Bowl, Mickey Mouse’s Super Bowl of Olympics.

 

Super Bust XLV

The Packers won. I am not pleased about this because I do not like the Packers. Nothing I can do about it though. It was a good game I guess. It was close-ish. Of course everyone has weighed in on all of the craziness of the game and the “entertainment”. I actually feel that the Super Bowl is more about the entertainment and commercialism than it is about the game itself. I know, “DUH!” right? For those of you that either a) live under a rock and didn’t know the game was on, or b) really didn’t pay attention, or c) want to see how much I actually pay attention, here are my observations of the game yesterday.

– Christina Arugala blew it. Of course we all know that by now. She also got a call from Cindy Lauper, she wants her look back.

– The Glee girl, didn’t forget any words to her song because it was lip synced

– I think Ben Roethlisberger was wearing a bullet proof vest under his uniform. I wouldn’t blame him.

– The commercials were very underwelming.

– I did like the flower commercial with Faith Hill and the guy that likes his girlfriends rack. That was funny. I used it. It worked.

– Justin Beiber looking old and saying the young him looked like a girl, amusing but he still is annoying.

– Some cool movies coming out.

– Half time show sucked BIG TIME! Enough said.

– Worst commercial … the old people in the nursing home.

– Best commercial … there really wasn’t one but the afore mentioned flower one and the dogs being party servers was amusing to me.

– The commentators sucked. That may be personal. For some reason I just really don’t like Joe Buck. I look at him as the sports version of Ryan Seacrest.

– I take it back, the Darth Vader kid was kinda funny. Not as good as everyone is making it out to be but … what do I know.

– Roger Staubach obviously didn’t want to be there. It could be heard “let me do this so I can get out of here”.

– I lied again. I of course liked the e-trade baby.

I obviously wasn’t all that impressed with the event in general. I think it is just the malaise I am feeling in the creativity zone lately. Anything actually entertain anyone during the game? Fortunately for me I had my baby sleeping on me so that was pretty cool.

Until next time, I have no quote … how sad.

Speaking Of Football, What Happened To Nerf?

I figured since I am not a huge fan of the Super Bowl, that while the game is going on, I would write today’s entry between commercial breaks. I may have some thoughts on the game and the commercials tomorrow, I haven’t decided yet. Today however, I want to talk about some commercials that are already on. Nerf.
When I was growing up, you had Nerf footballs, Nerf basketball nets and the like. It was what every kid started his sports career with. They were safe and you rarely could break any furniture or windows. Maybe with the football. Plus, they were great things to bring into the pool and whip at someone you didn’t like much when the ball was waterlogged. But I digress.

 

Lately, all I have seen commercials for is Nerf branded high powered fire arms. Now don’t get me wrong, I love a good dart gun as much as the next person however, I didn’t recall reading that Nerf was awarded a defense contract. The only Nerf commercials I have seen in the last few years have been for dart guns of one sort or another. Does Nerf even make other sports things anymore? Can you still buy a Nerf Football? I even have an old Nerf Boomerang. I should get that one out sometime.

 

Anyhoo, just wanted to ask that because I am going to have to go to sleep after the football game and I wanted to get something posted today.

 

The wife made an interesting and quite funny observation after the commercial for the next Fast and Furious movie. She said “oh geez another one? Before you know it they will be making Fast and Furious: The enema”. I almost had 7-up come out my nose.

 

Well, that’s it for now. I might have more Super Bowl related posting tomorrow as long as they don’t take any more clothes off of Joan Rivers and I become ill.

 

Until next time, remember … “Ask any racer, any real racer. It doesn’t matter if you win by an inch or a mile; winning’s winning.”

Football Food Faux Pas

What is better on Super Bowl Sunday than the game itself? Just about anything actually, but I am not here today to talk about that. I am not here to talk about the commercials. I AM here to talk about one of the best parts of the Super Bowl … the Super Bowl party food!

This Sunday there will be thousands of pounds of Guacamole, chips, salsa, dips, chicken wings and the like, consumed across America. Most of the food will be home made, after all, that is the best. Unfortunately, there will be a lot of people that have neither the skill or desire to make their own culinary fare. They will order pizza or have their party catered. Which I suppose is ok … for the most part.

If you are going to cater a Super Bowl party, it should be something like fried chicken or Italian beef, perhaps a tray of mostacholi. I guess pizza could be considered catering as well as a giant sub sandwich. I have heard some commercials lately though that make me feel sorry for anyone that is attending the guy in the commercial’s party.

Don't serve me this

The commercial starts by some guy telling his friend, or you, that you have a great tv, sound system and all this but nobody is going to go to your party because he has one thing that you don’t. What could it possibly be that would trump free booze, 4 big screen TVs, strippers, and squares? That’s right. People will blow off your great party because this rube has a “plethora of McNuggets”. REALLY? I’m sorry but if I go to a Super Bowl party I damn well better be given something more than McNuggets. Does McDonald’s really think that this is going to drive sales? That they are going to sell out of McNuggets on Sunday because everyone wants to serve them to their guests? God I hope not. There are just some foods that should not be served at a Super Bowl party.

The worst spread I can think of at a Super Bowl party would be as follows: (remember, personal tastes will vary. This may also be dependent on if you live in a double wide or a single wide)

– McDonald’s Chicken McNuggets

– White Castle Sliders (while I love White Castle on it’s own, it should NOT be a Super Bowl caterer)

– Taco Bell Mexican Pizzas

– Salmon cakes

– Grandmas Mystery mash

– Road kill of any kind

You could also make a case for not going too far the other way and serving caviar or something like that but I wanted to make clear that McNuggets just don’t cut it for the Super Bowl. Don’t get me wrong, I love McDonald’s. I am always up for a McRib. I just think their current commercial is ridiculous.

My advice, wherever you are going, be sure to bring some extra 7 layer dip just in case your hosts are on crack and did drive-thru catering.

That’s it for today. Until next time, remember … “I’m a dude. He’s a dude. She’s a dude. ‘Cause we’re all dudes.”

Back To Normal … Sort Of

Well, the Bears lost. No I am not happy about it really. I wish they would have won, gone to the super bowl, and won. It would be good for the city. I AM however glad that it is over and every single news story and news article will NOT be about the bears and the super bowl. I DO regret that they lost because now all the Packer fans will be riding the Bears fans about how they are better and yada yada yada.

I wasn’t planning on watching the game. In fact, I wasn’t watching the game until Jackie got out of the shower and made me turn it on. While my insights on football are far from expert, here are some things I noticed during the game.

1.     The Bears kind of sucked

2.     The Bears went through almost as many quarterbacks as the Cubs go through relief pitchers.

3.     The Fox announcers seemed to be Packer fans.

4.     Budweiser already started their Super Bowl ads with a “to be continued”

5.     The Bears kind of sucked.

6.     Joe Buck is about looks to be about the same size as Ryan Seacrest

7.     Green Bay can even score with a 400 lb player.

8.     I thought the fat guy’s dance was hillarious

9.     The Bears REALLY suck.

 

I am glad I did not invest my life blood into rooting for the Bears this past week. Oh well it is done, it is over, Packer fans leave me alone, I did not make fun of you this week. Bears fans who were criticizing me for no spirit … told you so?

I have 2 days left until I am left alone with Tori for 4 days. Jackie is going to be gone Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday night. She is going to San Antonio and is leaving Tori AND Piper alone with me for 3 nights. While Tori will be at Grandma’s during the day, she still is going to be alone with me all night. I will have to adjust to a few things like getting ready in the morning, and feeding, both her and me. It will be interesting but I survived 2 weekends ago so I should be ok.

Well that is about it for today. Had to get it out there. Some of you will be relieved that this week my posts may be VERY short since I am the only one with Tori this week. There will be something every day but I want to apologize now for the quality that will be lacking this week.

Come On, It’s Only Monday

This weekend, the Chicago Bears beat the Seattle Seahawks. They almost didn’t, at least what I could tell from the score. I will admit I did not watch the game. I am not a huge football fan. I am the guy that watches the Superbowl for the commercials. (Can I say Superbowl without getting sued?) Even then, the last couple of years, I have recorded the whole thing and fast forwarded through it. Wasn’t even committed enough to sit through it for the commercials.

This year, the Bears are close to going to the big game again. However the game they need to play to get there, is bigger than the Superbowl itself in these parts. Green Bay against Chicago. First time they have met in the playoffs in 70 some odd years. It is also a big deal since the Bears and Packers are in the same division and can not play each other in the Super Bowl unless something changes in the divisions. This is a BIG DEAL!

Yes, it is a big deal. This match-up has only been known since yesterday but I feel as I have been hearing about it for weeks already. THAT is how much news coverage has already hit the airwaves about this game. Not being a huge football fan, I am already fed up. Go ahead, rail on me for that comment. I don’t really care. It is even “football Friday” at work this coming Friday. We are supposed to wear our favorite team’s jersey, shirt, etc. By favorite, I think they mean Bears or on a stretch Packers. Personally, if I had a Houston Oilers jersey I would wear that. Just to be different.

The game is going to be on at 2pm this coming Sunday. I think I am going to do some sort of shopping at that time. In theory, I could hit any store between here and Milwaukee and I won’t see any crowds. That would be nice. Seeing the pain on the faces of those forced to work during the game. Maybe they won’t pay attention and I can get something for free.

I half hope the Bears lose so we are done with it. If the Packers win though, I have friends that will never let me hear the end of it. I think the stores will win and Fox will have the higher ratings than the Super Bowl will even get. They should charge millions of dollars for commercials during the game. I bet Able Pawn Shop in West Dundee would get a lot of people to come in if they ran their ad then.

It’s late, I am tired, I am rambling more and more incoherently. I am going to try something new to close this out tonight. I will have more entertaining ones soon.

 

 

Geriatrics And Milk-A-Holics

Super Bowl Sunday has come and gone. It was a great game. The Saints won. Lots of my friends lost money because of it. The halftime show was interesting (more on that after my rant on the commercials) The commercials were back to being humorous … sort of. I was expecting a lot more from them this year. A lot of hype was put out pre-game talking about how the commercials would be back to fun this year. There were some, but others fell flat for me.

I have to admit I did not watch the entire game. I had no stake in the teams playing so we turned it off around the end of the first quarter and DVRed the rest of it. I am LOVING DVR but more about that in a future Techtainment Tuesday. One thing I will say however, and this can really be noticed when you watch the game at a later date, is that it seems that the game is more centered around the commercials instead of the other way around. I remember watching football and you would actually see them on the sidelines talking, watch some of the injuries being taken off the field, see the crowd reactions that aren’t placed advertising. Now, anytime there is the slightest break in action, the squeeze in a commercial. Granted this is the Super Bowl and they want the money … but still.

On to the commercials. I may have missed a few, or just don’t remember them if they weren’t that good, but a few did stand out. They are in no particular order of showing during the game, just as I remember to talk about them as I am writing. (You can see all of them here. I linked to the ones I liked individually below.)

First we have the much hyped and highly controversial Tim Tebow/Focus on the Family ad. I was expecting a much harder pro-life message that I saw. Despite my personal beliefs, I was a little disappointed. If you are going to throw a controversial message out there, go for it. Don’t wuss out. After all the talk about it, I think the soft message hurt their cause. But that is just me.

Next we have the commercial I was really excited about when I heard about it. The Snickers ad with Betty White and my main man, the defyer of the death pool, Abe Vigoda. Now I know they are both too old to actually play football, but I would have loved to see a little more Abe in there. I also would have liked to see a little bit more of Betty’s sassiness.  Overall, wanted more but still a good one.

Simpson’s And Coke. Since I love all things Simpson, and I am a Coke addict, this was a knock out in my opinion. Not much more for me to say on that one other than “Exxxxcccelent”

I don’t know about anyone else, but I was a little uncomfortable for the 10 seconds of the Leno/Oprah/Letterman ad. I understand that they have all had their feuds, but I just didn’t get it.

Doritos made me COL (chuckle out loud) with 2 of their spots. The “No Bark Collar” I thought was pretty good and I really liked the “Boy Slaps Man” spot.

Is Google trying to maneuver itself into being a dating site next? I don’t want to think that they will be the next great matchmaker. Too much creepiness when it is really thought about.

I almost forgot that I did like the Kiss Dr. Pepper commercial. Although I can’t stand Dr. Pepper. I would die of thirst first. But I liked the commercial.

That leads me to my favorite commercials every year, the Talking babies of E*TRADE. I am not sure why I like these so much but I do. They are hilarious to me. This year was no exception. My favorite of them was the “milkaholic”, That one was funny wolf style aaahhhoooooooooo. We talked about the Milkaholics, now is time for the geriatrics.

Moving on to the halftime show. I have to mention it briefly because I have learned something. I have to stop watching the Super Bowl Half Time Show whenever they have “classic” music acts. I was excited to see The Who. I have been a Who fan for years. I even watched Roger Daltrey as an immortal on Highlander. What I can say about their performance last night is … they had a cool light show. I hate to say it but they are showing their ages. (It looked like they even brought in Dr. Kevorkian on keyboards). I had the opportunity to see The Who in concert at Alpine Valley back in 1988 or ’89. I went with a couple of my buddies John and Mike. (Mike actually is the author of the Olive Oil & Garlic blog) Of course this was many years ago when they were probably around my age now. They were still good. Roger’s voice could still get up there. Watching the aging rockers, no matter who they are, make me cringe a little bit. They had a cool light show though.

Well, that is about it for today. Nothing profound, just wanted to get a few things off my chest. I am sure I forgot plenty of commercials and like some others didn’t and I KNOW I hated some that others liked. Let me know if you agree with me or not on anything. Especially The Who. I would love to hear from my more musically aware friends on that um … experience.

I will see you all at Denny’s tomorrow for the free Grand Slam Breakfast. Until then remember … Metamucil: It helps you go to the toilet so you won’t get cancer and die.

Are You Ready For Some Football … Commercials

Tomorrow is the big day of the big game…the Super Bowl. That probably just cost me a few thousand dollars to type. Anyhoo, I have never really been a big football fan. For me, the commercials are what I record the game for. If I go to a Super Bowl party, I don’t really watch the game, only the commercials and I pay attention to whatever else is going on. Hopefully this year’s commercials will go back to being funny and out there instead of the conservative and somber ads we mostly had last year. They say they will be a little better due to the economy so I am hopeful.

I don’t have much more to write about this I guess until after the game. If I remember, I will come on and list my favs from the game. Make sure you watch and let me know which ones you liked as well. If this link is any indication, then they should be good. After all, who can’t be excited about Betty White and Abe Vigoda in an ad?

Until next time, here is a word from our sponsor … Porsche. It’s a little too small to get laid IN it, but you get laid the minute you get out of it!