Celebrity Deaths – October D.O.A.

It seems that celebrities weren’t the only things dying in October. We had celebrity marriages, a few T.V. shows, and apparently my new reality show. It wasn’t too well received yesterday. I had a whopping 4 views of my show. I know it wasn’t that good, it was actually pretty horrible, but I figured I had to give it a try. At least my reality T.V. career lasted longer than any of Lindsey Lohan’s sober stretches. Well, enough of all the boring deaths, lets get right to the news that will bring the number of views on my blog back up to pre-reality numbers shall we?

Don Lapre – 47 – Television pitchman – Oct. 2

Arthur C. Nielsen Jr. – 92 – The Nielsen ratings guy. – Oct. 3

Doris Black – 85 – Actress Law & Order, Tootsie – Oct. 4

Charles Napier – 75 – Actor The Blues Brothers – Oct. 5

Steve Jobs – 56 – I shouldn’t have to say – Oct. 5

Diane Cilento – 78 – Actress The Wicker Man – Oct. 6

Paul Kent – 80 – Actor  Star Trek II – Oct. 7

Mikey Welsh – 40 – Musician in Weezer – Oct. 8

David Hess – 75 – Actor Last House On The Left – Oct. 8

Ray Aranha – 72 – Actor  Dead Man Walking, Die Hard w/Vengeance – Oct. 9

Doctor X – 43 – Mexican wrestler – Oct. 11

George “Mojo” Buford – 81 – Blues harmonica player – Oct. 11

Dennis Ritchie – 70 – developer of “C” computer language – Oct. 12

Chuck Ruff – 60 – Drummer “Edgar Winter, Sammy Hagar” – Oct. 14

Edgar Villchur – 94 – Inventor of the acoustic suspension loudspeaker – Oct. 17

Hunter – 36 – Australian rapper – Oct. 20

Dennis Hall – 54 – Cinematographer Burn Notice – Oct. 20

Muammar Ga…Qu…Kaddafi – 69 – Dick-tater – Oct. 20

T. Max Graham – 70 – Actor Eraserhead – Oct. 27

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I Must Be Doing Soething Right

Yesterday I wrote about Tori’s first birthday. Yesterday I had the most views on my blog ever. I am not sure why. I have a few theories. 1. Lots of weird people came and looked at the picture of Tori. 2. I am a great writer. 3. People came from near and far to see if I had a celebrity death update. 4. I got lucky.

I like to see how many views I get so that someday, when I get more than 10 or 20 a day, I can maybe monetize this thing.I have a long way to go before that happens but a man can dream. Then I can stay home with Tori and just write all day. I love it when I convince myself that I can be famous with something easy.

Anyhoo, most of the people I am sure came somehow by searching for celebrity deaths. Steve Jobs died yesterday. Charles Napier died today. One more and we will have the trifecta.

Well, I have to run out and get Jackie a card for her birthday tomorrow from Tori since Tori got a birthday card for me today.

Another National Day

As my blog is about nothing in particular, I would be remiss as a babbler if I didn’t at least acknowledge the fact that today is National Toilet Paper Day. Why do we have a Toilet Paper Day? I have no clue. I couldn’t even find a Wikipedia entry for it. Not that I tried all that hard. Had I known there was a Toilet Paper Day a while ago, I would have saved this blog for today. Since I didn’t, I will have to steal a few facts that were reported by a local news station today.

According to the online Toilet Paper Encyclopedia:

• 69 percent of people name toilet paper as the 20th Century “convenience” most taken for granted.
• 49 percent choose toilet paper as their “necessity” if stranded on a deserted island — that’s ahead of food!
• 72 percent of people hang the roll with sheets going *over* not under.
• Wiping your nose is the second most common use for toilet paper. The first is obvious.
• In public restrooms, it takes an average of 71 people to use one entire roll.

I bet you didn’t even know any of that huh? I also bet that you really didn’t care. Apparently, from the few things I could find about today, Charmin is doing some sort of world record. I really didn’t want to know what. There is a Facebook page (isn’t there one for everything though?). You can get coupons at various places for toilet paper. Yeah, such an exciting day.

In other news, Steve Jobs is still retired from Apple, there is a hurricane that will shut down New York, I still haven’t won the lottery, Kim Kardashian is still married and hasn’t released a sex tape from the honeymoon yet and Jim Carrey was joking. Yeah, not all of those should be in the news.

That’s kinda all I got for you today. Been a long week. Actually, now that I think about it, I have one more thing …

Those of you that know me well, or have read any of my posts where I whore myself out, know that I am a pretty big Muppets fan. They have a new movie coming out soon. I am a little leery about it as Jason Segal wrote it and Frank Oz and Jerry Nelso aren’t even puppeteers on this one. Frank Oz NOT doing voices? My admiration of Frank Oz is well known as well. Personally, I think I would be a great voice replacement but then again, I won’t say that I could fully fill Mr. Oz’s shoes.

There is also a new album coming out of Muppet songs covered by various artists. It is Muppets: The Green Album. I have only seen one thing off of it so far and that is the video by Ok Go with the Muppets in it. They do the theme song. It is kind of amusing. I will have to get used to change in the Muppet universe. I am a Muppet purist. It took me a while to get used to Pepe and I NEVER liked and still don’t like Clifford from Muppets Tonight. Anyway, take a look at the video and let me know what you think. Like I said, it is Ok. Get it … Ok … Go. Yeah.

New iPhone 5 Rumors

Everyone wants to know what is in store for the next iPhone. Everyone is looking to rumor reports for the answers. Some of the rumors that have come out are actually from reputable sources. In my endless quest to gain national attention by being sued by a major corporation for saying something they don’t like, and after seconds of exhaustive research, pennies in bribes, a short nap and a few deep inhalations off a Magnum 44 marker, I have found a brand new list of rumored features for the next generation of iPhone. If the voices my sources are correct, then the next iPhone is going to outsell everything that has come before.

Latest rumored net gen iPhone features:

–       First off, the next gen iPhone will not be 4Gs or even iPhone 5. Apple will be going the same direction as their OS and giving it an actual name. For the iPhones, Apple did not go with big cat or even animal names, they decided to try to grab an even younger audience and go with a candy reference … “Giant Sucker”.

–       Will include Haptic Feedback. Audio sensors on the phone will be able to detect when a user is saying anything slightly negative about Apple. At this point a high voltage shock will be delivered through the metal case into the user.

–       The case of the iPhone is changing. After complaints of it being hard to hold, and the antennae gate scandal, they will be adding 150 small pin-like spikes on the pack of the phone. Not only will these aid in holding the phone if your hand is wet or dry, or if you hold it on your shoulder with your head tilted, but the spikes will pierce your skin, your body to aid the reception of the antennae. It is believed that with this new tech you will actually be able to get 23 bars of signal.

–        It will have a retractable dog leash

–       There will be a Swiss Army collection that features all the cutlery worthy of an Apple product.

–       Etched into the glass front will be an image of Steve Jobs.

–       It will have 2 cup holders.

–       If lost or stolen, you will be able to send a signal to your iPhone that will blow it up with the force of an M-80.

–       The display is being increased from Retina to Nervus Opticus.

–       New security feature will only unlock the phone after licking the screen.

If all the rumored features are true, then this will be one powerhouse of a phone. That’s all for today. I am off to find that marker again.

Until next time, remember … “Good artists copy, great artists steal.”

I Need To Clean My Crystal Ball

What a year it was. Yes, it is now the 4^th day of the new year and I am just NOW getting my predictions up for the new year. I have been sitting on this for almost a full week already so I figured it is time to get it up. This is my explanation for not rewriting the following in order to make it up to date … I know it isn’t 2011 quite yet, but I think I am safe to review my predictions from last year. Not only do I think that none of my predictions will come true within the next day, but I also have a few things to post within the next few days so I need to get a jump on it. Looking back on my predictions from the beginning of the year, I realize that I really didn’t do all that great with my predictions. You can look back at what I got wrong on your own, but here are a few highlights.

• Michael Jackson IS still dead

• I DID indeed give up on a number of my resolutions by March

• My Facebook prediction came close, but they were short by I think 2 redesigns

• Christmas shopping DID indeed start early, but not quite April as I had predicted

• Unfortunately, Ryan Seacrest is still around

• The CUBS did NOT win the World Series

 

I did however realize that 20 predictions was a very daunting task. This year, I think I am going to go a little simpler and by not stretching my clairvoyance, I may be a little more accurate. So, here are my predictions for 2011 in no particular order:

1.     Brett Favre will FINALLY retire from the NFL after getting an offer from Vivid Entertainment to star in a remake of “You’ve Got Male” that will be distributed solely via SMS.

2.     San Francisco will ban all food and food additives.

3.     Ryan Seacrest’s new catch phrase will be “ Hi, I am Ryan Seacrest … denture wearer”

4.     In a surprise acquisition, Google will buy Apple and Steve Jobs will go to work for Adobe.

5.     We will find out that Facebook IS indeed the devil and an entire new religion will spring up to combat it’s power over individuals.

6.     “The Cloud” will become the most hated word of the year replacing “whatever” at the top of the list. People will start calling it “the internet” again.

7.     As popular as it is, The Walking Dead will change focus, but the writers have yet to “flesh” out their ideas.

8.     Android phones will actually become self-aware and attempt to take over the world. Emilio Estevez will save us all and in turn, resurrect his career.

9.     The world will NOT end on May 21 of this year. It will actually end in late October due to the #10 prediction.

10.  Cubs win the World Series!!!!

 

 

 

There they are. I know a few are kind of lame but I am tired. Let’s see how I end up doing this year. Until next time, remember … “I’ve been to one world fair, a picnic, and a rodeo, and that’s the stupidest thing I ever heard come over a set of earphones.”

Techtainment Tuesday – A Test Drive

As I have been thinking of trying out some sort of “theme day” that I could write once a week, I thought I would try out a few things and see how they work. On this first try, I figured I would combine 2 things since I am not totally a tech geek (just a little bit), and I am not totally in tune with the entertainment scene. I figured this way, I might be able to find enough things to talk about with both for one day. We shall see how it works out.

For my inaugural tech segment, I would be totally remiss if I did not mention the big shindig that is happening in Cupertino tomorrow. For years I let these events go buy with only a cursory interest, mostly shaking my head at the hype surrounding them. Recently however, I joined the ranks of the Apple owners community with a laptop and iPod, so I take a little more interest in them. Whether or not Mr. Jobs (who is on the death watch list for 2010) brings out a tablet, iPhone 4.0 software, iPhone to Verizon or some other announcement, the pre-show hype is usually much bigger than what actually happens at the event IMHO. With all the leaks in the media and online about what is going to happen, the secrecy that Apple tried to maintain pre-event loses a certain amount of luster.

In the past few days, I have already read an overwhelming number of articles on what the problems with an Apple tablet would be. Most of them site the cost. This has always been a factor, for me anyway, in adopting Apple products as my own. When I can build a pretty darn good PC myself for about $500 – $600, why would I pay the money for the Mac equivalent? I did finally break down and buy a MacBook for a number of reasons, but is still hurt my conscience to pay that much. Despite the fact that the tablet will carry a hefty price tag, I am sure that a large number of people will buy the new device just because it is Apple. You have to give Steve Jobs his due, he is as good a promoter for Apple as Vince McMahon is for WWE. It is all about creating buzz and he gets more free advertising than just about anyone. How good would Apple sales be if the media all of a sudden just stopped talking about them?

Moving on to entertainment, other big news … the merger of Live Nation and Ticketmaster. There were the days, long ago, that I used to go to a few concerts. Granted, it was so long ago that it was at Poplar Creek and I mostly sat on the lawn, but even then I remember having to pay the dreaded “convenience fee”. No one knew what this was for, and no one still can really pin down what it was needed for. I have been told “Because you used the convenience of ordering over the phone”. So, I went to one of the few outlets. “The fee is for using a live person at the outlet”. Later as technology progressed, “it is for ordering on-line”. Whatever. It still was something I did not want to pay.

Now with the merger, the DOJ says that ticket prices will lower because it will be cheaper for the company as they now are in charge of the talent, venue, merchandise, tickets, bathroom attendants, record company and bathroom attendants. I don’t see how one company owning everything will bring prices down. Granted, I don’t have an M.B.A. but if you are the only game in town, despite whatever regulations the DOJ has imposed, don’t you think you would get as much as people are willing to pay? And of course, that is the problem, people are willing to pay. Hopefully once I start getting into some different music tastes I can enjoy some of the music fests that are not run by huge corporations and that I don’t have to take out a second mortgage to go to.

On a lighter note … and speaking of WWE, sort of … Psych is back on tomorrow night!

I was psyched, (oh yeah, pun totally intended) to see James Roday and Dule Hill be guest hosts of RAW last night. Unfortunately, James had an appendectomy this past weekend and could not attend. I wish he could have been there as Dule was pretty much in his Gus character and so was James when John Cena called him in the hospital. Tomorrow night’s new episode has John Cena in it and it looks as if it will be amusing as always. For a wrestler, Cena isn’t THAT bad of an actor as long as he is in the roles that suit him. I still need to order my Psych phone cover since I found out they do make one for the BB Storm.

That wraps it up. Not sure what I accomplished but as always I had fun rambling on. So, is anyone looking forward to the tablet? Anyone excited about the merger?

Until next time remember … You cannot sit there in a dark car all alone. You’ll be picked up for mopery … With intent to creep. Trust me, you don’t want that. It’ll put a big hole in your future.