Archive for Ricky Gervais

And The Winner For Worst Joke At The Oscars Goes To …

Posted in Nonsense, TV/Movies, Wacky News with tags , , , , , , , , , , on February 27, 2011 by Bob
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The worst joke goes to ...

Almost as predictable as the winners of the Oscars usually are, are the horrible jokes that the hosts and presenters come up with. Every few years you will get a host that actually has some funny things to say, but the presenters very rarely have one funny joke between all of them. So, as a salute to the many awkward moments that we will experience tonight, I thought that I would give a list of jokes that would be better than most of those that will be told at the Oscars. Anne … James … forget what you are thinking, forget what Ricky wrote for you … grab a  few of these and pass them around to the other presenters. They aren’t the best but they will probably be better than anything else tonight.

Q: What do you call a gorilla with a banana in each ear?

A: Whatever you want, he can’t hear you!

 

Q: What do you call a zipper on a banana?

A: A fruit fly!

 

Q: Why won’t bikes stand up by themselves?

A: Because they are two tired!

 

Q: Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill?

A: It ran out of juice!

 

Q: Why did the rooster cross the road?

A: To prove he wasn’t chicken!

 

Q: What do frogs drink?

A: CROAKa cola!

 

Q: What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?

A: You’re too small to smoke!

 

Q: What is the easiest thing to part with?

A: A comb!

 

Q: What did the strawberry say to the other strawberry?

A: If you weren’t so sweet we wouldn’t be in this jam!

 

Q: How do you know carrots are good for your eyes?

A: Have you ever seen a rabbit with glasses!

 

Until next time, remember … “Better to be king for a night than schmuck for a lifetime.”

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