Archive for Kleenex

Keep It In Your Pocket

Posted in Nonsense with tags , on January 5, 2018 by Bob

I was down in the cafeteria today at work looking to negotiate the vending of some cheesy comestibles, when I witnessed something that ruined my appetite and sent me back to my desk, destined to remain esurient the remainder of the afternoon.

As I was looking over the limited menu choices, an older gentleman, in his late 60s – early 70s, reached into his pocket, retrieved a handkerchief, blew his nose, and placed it back in his pocket. Ew.

I have never understood the use of a handkerchief to blow your nose. Why would you want to do that, put it in your pocket, let it fester, and use it over and over again. This is the age of Kleenex and Puffs. Single use tissues that you can fill with your bacteria laden disgustingness and immediately dispose of it. They even have small packs that you can put in your pocket so you can have a fresh, DRY and CLEAN one each time.

The use of a handkerchief to blow your nose repulses me. Even when I look it up on that uber trustworthy site Wikipedia, it only mentions actual blowing of nose once. It lists tons of other uses from being a hobo, to using it as a Molotov cocktail wick.

Even the heads of major movie studios and crack detectives know to throw out a handkerchief after it has been used.

Don’t get me wrong, I am a parent and have had plenty of gross tissues in my pocket and have had to use them sometimes a second time on a child. This was usually only to wipe the nose. And as soon as I had the chance, that sucker was in the trash faster than … well … FAST!

Please, if you use a handkerchief … stop. If you are short on funds, I will buy you a travel pack of tissue.

Rant over. What say you all? Am I the only one that thinks this practice should be banned by law or am I just insane?

Another “How To” Moment

Posted in How To, Nonsense with tags , , , , , , , , , on August 27, 2011 by Bob

I wonder if it will ever get confusing for me if I keep naming “how to” blogs “another how to moment”. Meh. By the way, did you know that they added “meh” to the dictionary? But that is not why we are here.

We are here today to teach another valuable lesson in something. Our researches spend countless seconds each week trying to gather the information to bring you, the reader, the benefit of our expertise. This week we have a doozey for you. It is something that we have been asked to do for a very long time and by many readers. It is something that helps everyone and is appreciated by many people both in the home and the workplace.

Today we bring you: “How To Blow Your Nose”

1. Catch a cold (allergies would also be acceptable)

2. Wait for nose to be severely clogged or extremely runny.

3. Obtain a Kleenex®, hankie, paper towel, friend’s shirt sleeve or even a newspaper in a pinch.

4. Wrap whatever you grabbed loosely around proboscis. Loose enough to allow flow, tight enough to avoid spray.

5. Blow with steady, even pressure through your nose.

6. When complete, fold tissue and discard.

7. Repeat as needed.

 

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