Archive for How to decorate

Another VIMB How To Moment

Posted in How To, Nonsense with tags , , , , , , , , on December 10, 2011 by Bob

Once again, we here at Voicesinmybrain wish to help our fellow man with helpful tips to improve your holidays. Today, we here are VIMB want to help with our information on: How To Use Your Saturday To Finally Put Up Christmas Decorations.

– Wake up with plans to go to breakfast

– Wake up late

– Go to breakfast while your new glasses are being made

– Go to Walmart after picking up your glasses

– Go to Babies R Us

– While at Babies R Us, change baby’s clothes because she peed so much it totally overflowed her diaper.

– Head to Costco but stop at Sonic for a refreshing beverage.

– On way to Costco, look in rear view mirror to see baby holding her nose, telling you that she pooped.

– When almost at Costco, realize that you can’t change baby yet because you have to go home for your membership card that you took out of your wallet when you went to Vegas because a pick pocket is really going to did on that Costco card.

– Get home, change baby and baby’s clothes AGAIN because of the longer wait she blew out a bit.

– With baby in her 3rd outfit of the day, go to Costco for the 2 things you needed, walk out with 15 things you don’t need.

– Get home, unload the car, eat dinner, catch up on TV on the DVR.

– Realize you have been watching TV all night, it is 11:15 p.m. and you haven’t blogged yet.

– Come up with a crazy blog idea and try to type while watching Alec Baldwin make fun of his flight “incident” this past week and wonder if he is insane or brilliant for doing so.

– Include Alec Baldwin bit in your blog.

– Look at the clock and realize that it is 11:45 p.m. and your blog post is finished but you have totally forgotten about the Christmas decorations which is what your whole day was supposed to be about.

– Go to bed and hope you can get something done tomorrow.

 

 

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How To Decorate For The Holidays

Posted in Holiday, How To, Nonsense with tags , , , , , , on November 13, 2011 by Bob

Here at Voices In My Brain, we are normally vehemently opposed to any Christmas decorations going up before Thanksgiving. I have done well in the past adhering to this myself. I have often times regretted my decision to wait due to the wind and cold. I feel though that those hardships are what the decorating is all about. You go outside, decorate, freeze and then come in and enjoy the fire and some hot cocoa … or bourbon.

This year, I am going to be packing to go to Vegas on Thanksgiving weekend (yes, I will pack the whole weekend … don’t judge) so today I decided that this nice warm but windy weekend would be ideal to get ahead of schedule, even if I didn’t turn on the lights.

So, in order to help all of you who are thinking of decorating early … Voiceinmybrain presents, How To Decorate For The Holidays.

1. Plan on getting up super early to get all the decorations out of the basement.

2. Look at your alarm clock, and sleep an extra 2 hours.

3. Finally get up, put on some clothes and head down to ge the decorations out of the basement.

4. Stop in the kitchen, make coffee, eat breakfast, drink coffee.

5. Watch a DRVed show from earlier in the week while you drink your coffee.

6. Go out onto the deck and stack the patio furniture that is blowing around due to the 50 m.p.h. wind gusts.

7. Go down to the basement, start pulling out the decorations, realize it is time for the baby’s nap, go upstairs and put her to bed.

8. Watch another recorded show because you don’t want to wake the baby.

9. Feed the baby when she wakes up.

10. Play with the baby while the wife does some work.

11. Realize that it is dark outside and too late to do any decorations. Order a pizza and call it a night.

12. Plan to try again next weekend.

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