A Few Updates … Or, “Meaningless Words Thrown Together To Have A Post Today”

I have been pretty horrible lately providing ample humorous content to my many loyal readers. By “lately” I mean the last year or so and by “loyal” I mean the 5 or 6 of you I pay to read my blog. While today’s installment may not be the most entertaining piece I have ever written, I figure that I better get something out there since I added ‘blog writing’ as a skill on LinkedIn. So, as I was driving home, listening to Tangled for the 273rd time (it is Tori’s newest obsession), I decided I would visit a few past posts and give updates on things that apparently mattered to me at the time.

Diabetes

I had a couple of posts on this. While I don’t want to make this a medical blog, I want to assure all of you that I am not going to drop dead anytime soon. I didn’t disclose my numbers before, but 3 key numbers I had to get under control were: A1C = 10, Fasting blood sugar 210, Triglycerides = 489. YIKES! After 3 months of meds and diet I am at the following: A1C = 5.7, Fasting 103, Triglycerides 217. Still need to work on the Tri # but … HUGE improvement! And I have lost over 20 lbs.

 

LinkedIn

I DID add a number of “skills” to my LinkedIn profile. I haven’t had any new connection requests, you can still connect if you would like, and I haven’t had a whole lot of endorsements for my new skills. I am still waiting for those and the numerous job offers to roll in.

 

Hedge Fund

I am up to $22.37. Look out Google!

 

Andy Rooney

My eyebrows aren’t any bushier. I did have one wild hair the other day though.

 

2013 “Fun” Celeb Death Predictions

So, I guess it might be a little late to get this one started. I will do better for 2014

 

No updates on, but I will eventually get to, some OLD items such as my Chopped Challenge and something else I am sure that were so long ago I can’t even find them now.

Well, that’s about it. I just realized it is hard to give updates on posts when I haven’t written that many.

To make up for it, her is a video of the youngest voice, Alex, dancing.

 

 

 

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An Open Letter To Facebook

Dear Facebook,

I would like to formally congratulate you on the good sense to just bow out and let Google+, Twitter and Linkedin win in the Social networking arena. Your “improvements” are non user friendly, and it is wholly unprofessional to not have an opt-out or customizable option. I do however appreciate the fact that your latest “upgrade” will more than likely increase the value of my Google stock.

I can emphatically say that you have no idea what stories or updates are of interest to me, you have no way of knowing who my close friends or coworkers are, and if you want to decide who I see updates from, then you should also decide which of my bills you should pay for me.

The scrolling updates bar on the right side of the screen proves that you do not know who I want to see updates from. It is distracting and there is no way to easily see the entire conversation that a comment was posted about. To use industry terms … YOUR UI SUCKS ASS!

Mark *uckerburg, in the spirit of  you not being a dick, I expect to have a formal apology from you, posted to everyone’s wall, by tomorrow morning. This should state that you screwed up, the constant screwing with our lives was a mistake, and that you are splitting the company up into at least 3 different entities.

I, along with many other bloggers, investor groups, developers, cat hoarders and out of work cartoonists, have been adding pieces to the full page newspaper obituary for Facebook for some time now. We do appreciate the fact that month after month you make it easier and easier to write. The only thing that we ask is that you formally change the name of your company to Fecesbook so that it matches our obituary.

I hope that this letter finds you buried ass deep in complaints and that you die a quick painful death as a Social Site.

Cordially,

The staff at Voicesinmybrain.com

P.S. If you find it in your heart to sue me for anything, I welcome the publicity and notoriety.

Am I Becoming Anti-Social?

Up until a few years ago, about as “social” I was on line was going into the occasional geek chat room to talk about the latest Stargate episode. Then I got roped into joining Facebook for the new job I had. I started requesting friends and liking things. I had no clue why I was doing this. It wasn’t long before I was Tweeting, Foursquaring, Digging and whatever else I had to do for my job at the time. Now there is Klout, Google+ and god knows what else.

I don’t have time to do all of these. It is hard enough trying to be on Facebook alone. I am not sure I would be able to tweet if my blog wasn’t automatically posting there. I am not sure what the hell Klout is about or why I have any or what to do with the Klout I have. I don’t think I have dug anything for quite a while and I am not sure where I am supposed to check in on what service so that I can have a political future in a coffee shop.

I don’t really want to join Google + but I am sure that I will end up on there eventually despite my better judgement. To me it is just social overload. There is a car commercial right now, actually a couple of them that reflect my sentiment PERFECTLY! They both have a younger person talking about how they are worried that their parents aren’t social enough. The one commercial has a girl on her computer mocking her parents for having 16 friends while she has over 600 or some nonsense. They then show her parents being out and about biking with friends and then getting into their car. It may be a little different than I am relaying but you get the idea. They are making fun of how people think “being social” is about being online all the time.

I don’t want to be social only on the computer. Yes, I keep in touch with friends and have made new friends because of the computer, however, I can’t golf with some of these friends, I can’t go to dinner with most. I don’t want to attend a virtual something somewhere. I still want to have a real life.

I hope in a few years people still actually will se each other face to face occasionally.

Gotta go, I have a virtual thing to go to in 42nd Life.

It’s Been A While

But I am back with a quick Techtainment Tuesday. Quick because I am still, AGAIN, under the weather. I really didn’t believe it when people told me that I would get sick a lot more often with a baby around. Darn kids passing germs back and forth amongst them. But, I digress. It is time to talk some entertaining tech.

I read today that Google unveiled a few enhancements to search. One, is that it will start loading a web page in the background, that it thinks is the search result you will pick. Basically, a little more big brother coming into play. They say it will save the average user 4-5 seconds per page. Personally, if I am at the point where I am noticing that little of a time savings, then I need to get a life or change careers.

The other thing Google announced was voice search. Once it is rolled out you can speak the search term to your computer and it will look for it. I for one am very excited for this. I can’t wait to see how the voice recognition messes up and what kind of crazy porn search results it comes up with.

I will try to have some Tori video soon. She has another lesson tomorrow night so it may not happen until Thursday, or when I am feeling good enough to take the time to do it properly instead of half assing it just to get it up. There should be sick days for the post a day challenge 🙂

Let’s Go, Let’s Go … Down To Junior’s Content Farm Where Google Don’t Want To Go

Long title I know but, as this is Techtainment Tuesday, which I haven’t written for in a while, I figured what the hell. Google said this week that they adjusted their search algorithms to start weeding out results for “inferior” sites. Specifically, they were talking about sites like eHow.com who will post just about anything that says “how to” in the title, just to garner search rankings. Or something like that, I am not all that geeky on the technology of that part. What the revamp would do is put so called “content farm” sites was way down in the search so they are not as prevalent. I will admit that some of the things I have seen on eHow have been pretty lame, but others have been ok I guess. Either way, is it really up to Google to tell us what is a “good site” and what is not?

In honor of this blacklisting of sites, I have decided to start my own how to posts, just to see if they can someday rank higher than eHow. Mine will by no means be a content farm, more of a small ant farm size of content. Google says that the “how to” topics are some of the most mundane and pointless out there. I disagree. I think I can come up with far more mundane and pointless “how to” posts. I will even put it out there to do what eHow does and will solicit anyone that wants to guest write a “how to” post. It can be whatever you want it to be. It just has to be relatively free of foul language. (Sorry Sybil)

All you have to do is email me your How To and I will post them on Tuesdays. They can be serious, they can be ridiculous, they can be in depth, they can be super simple. Who wants to play? Just email them to me at bobbybng@comcast.net.

To get things started, here is my first, pointless “How To”

 

Voicesinmybrain presents: How to turn on a light switch

Step 1 – Walk up to light switch

Step 2 – Lift arm and reach toward light switch

Step 3 – Extend index finder and place under light switch toggle

Step 4 – Raise finger upward, moving light switch to “on” position

Step 5 – Smile

 

Disclaimer: Directions provided will only operate “toggle” style light switches. VIMB.com claims no responsibility for injuries incurred while performing these steps. The views expressed and expertise inferred are in no way a reflection on actual views or actual expertise or lack thereof and do not constitute anything that is legal or binding unless provided for within the above declaration referring to the afore mentioned notice. Offer not valid in Guam or where prohibited by law.

I Want My … I Want My … I Want My Free TV

It is here! Actually, it was here, then it was gone for a week or 2, but now it is back again! Welcome to Techtainment Tuesday!!! When we last saw our intrepid blogger, he was talking about how he had writer’s block. He finally came up with something blog-worthy but, in the process, apparently sipped up some of the creative juices of someone else’s excuses. He should have just said he was purely lazy. Which also would have been true. But then, if he had not infringed upon the literary genius of another, he wouldn’t have this opening paragraph for today! We join today’s blogging with our main character vowing to plagiarize excuses for not blogging, in part or in whole, with not even the excuse changing to protect the guilty. What does ANY of this have to do with Techtainment Tuesday you ask? Well, nothing. Just was fun to write. On to the fun stuff!

I have a few things that I want to mention today. I don’t have a lot on any of them, so once again I am going to steal a concept, maybe 2 depending on how you look at it. At least this time I am acknowledging it. I am going to do a bullet kinda thing ala Sybil that may look like a snippet kinda thing ala Kapgar. Once again, to the two of you, let me know where to send the royalty fees and I will send them out just as soon as I am done planning and prepping for the baby’s arrival.

• LOVING the new Starburst commercials with the “contradictions”. My favorite, Screaming Mime. If I had come up with this years ago I could have made HUNDREDS!

• REALLY getting pissed off at ALL televisions stations, broadcast and cable, for putting those stupid footer animations advertising shows on their station. WE KNOW! Every other commercial is for another TV show so why do you have to block out the closed captioning for COPS with another commercial. Also, we know what channel we are on … take it out of the corner please.

• Have I mentioned how much I LOVE DVR? Well I do.

• Went to look at the DROID X this weekend. The screen is bigger than my whole BB Storm. Can’t justify that much for a phone to read email and update Facebook though. Am I missing something?

• Facebook appears to be doing updates again without telling people. “Events” pages have changed from what they were a couple weeks ago and I am starting to get updates from people who I have hidden so I don’t see their updates.

• Not really down with the new look of the Google News page. Much harder to read on my phone. I am not a fan of the Google mobile layout either.

• Will Ferrell is in a new movie. What kind of character will he play? Hmmm … SURPRISE! He is playing the same thing he plays in ALL of his movies. Will … Even Adam Sandler has moved on from the moron role. “Idiocracy” is becoming more and more a prophecy.

• Another movie I saw a commercial for is starring all of the big name action stars from the last 20-30 years. Does this mean that it is going to be the ultimate in worst acting in the last 20-30 years? Don’t get me wrong, I want to see it but … dayum!

• mixpl *&$%0 da – .. airfj – Oops, sorry about that. Was leaning on my keyboard a little to hard. Disrupted the flow from the usb cable connection. Yes it’s an Apple keyboard.

• This just in … that last joke was REALLY bad and I admit it.

And a few items from the “World is coming to an end because we think this is news” department:

• Lindsay Lohan can’t even retain the lawyer that defended O.J. AND she was late to report to jail. I would be too.

• Jersey Shore actors are on Strike

• Glenn Beck is going blind (isn’t he pretty blind already?)

• Mel Gibson has ANOTHER tape with bad things on it. We get it, he hates the woman he cheated on his wife and had a child with. Move back to Australia already.

Well, entertaining or not, this was a whirlwind today and I am just glad that I got to get it all to you for your enjoyment. Please fill out your comment cards and leave them in the vase by the front door. Don’t forget to visit the gift shop and please, have your pets spayed or neutered.

Until next time remember, It’s solid, but juicy like a liquid.

I Want To Quit But I Just Can’t

Welcome my friends to Techtainment Tuesday. I hope you all can still read this as I have recently installed 4,687 different privacy options to my blog and I can’t remember who I have blocked, and who I have sent 400 meaningless Farmyo Wars invites to.

Much has been made about Facebook’s privacy setting lately. For me, I always go in and have my Facebook as private as I can get it. My wife, not so much. She basically can be found by just about anyone I think. I haven’t googled her lately so I can’t be sure. Maybe I will google her tonight. (is that double entendre enough for you Sybil?) Anyway, they are saying that they are going to simplify their privacy options starting tomorrow night. That is not really saying much considering what they currently are. It is like Einstein saying he is going to simplify the Theory of relativity from the grave. (I don’t know what that means either.) Anyhoo … I, along with thousands, neigh millions of others, have toyed with the idea of ending my relationship with facebook. I just can’t do it though.

Deleting my Facebook account would, in reality, be no major loss. I really don’t use it that much compared to most other people I know. Yes, I have used it to re-connect with some old friends, which is nice. I have been able to congratulate, as well as get congratulated, on some major events. I have also been able to stay informed on some entertainment options that may or may not interest me. I have been able to use it to pimp my blog. There have also been the drawbacks.

I have been one of those annoying people who protested against all the notifications from the games on Facebook. I have close to 100 (if not more) various applications blocked from accessing my information. I have unfortunately had to hide people on occasion because they are addicted like crack to Facebook and post WAY to much information that I don’t have time to read or just don’t care that they are doing their nails or going to get the mail. I have had to remove a number of things from my profile and pages because I don’t want Yuri in Kazakhstan to know that I had a piece of Leg Lamp flair on my wall or that I am a fan of B.J. and the Bear.

I wish I could quit Facebook outright. It would simplify my life. It would be one less thing I would have to deal with on a daily basis. I just can’t. Quitting Facebook these days would be akin to refusing to use Microsoft Office and only using Word Perfect and Quattro Pro (yes they still exist).

If I quit Facebook, I would never get invited to a party again. It seems that everyone who used to use evites, is now using Facebook. I am guilty of this as well. I would also never be able to see pictures of various events since most people use Facebook as their main posting place. I have a twitter account but, as many others reason, why make someone go to many different places when Facebook can do it all. The other reason I can’t leave … like Stewie Griffin … I don’t like change. It took me a long time to get on Facebook to begin with, and that was only due to a job requirement at the time. If I left now, I would have a void of communication choices.

A few of us at work have talked about Facebook and its growth from a marketing standpoint. We are convinced that it has grown so fast because of the economy. That if we weren’t in such a downturn, where everyone is trying to get their names out there for free, that it wouldn’t be as big as it is right now. I have predicted that Facebook will go the way of MySpace within a year and a half or so. By that I mean that it will be in decline, and it will be looked at as the “also ran”. MySpace will eventually just disappear or be bought by Facebook while Facebook is still popular. One of my esteemed colleagues has actually predicted that Facebook will be largely “out of favour” in as little as 6 months. I hope this is not the case. I have decided I am going to try to jump hard onto Facebook and really try to make it my bitch.

Everyone seems to be creating a fan page, or a “get Big Bird to host the adult film awards” page. It doesn’t mater if you are an aged comedienne or a pickle, people are setting up pages for just about everything. The crazy thing about all these pages … THEY WORK! They work just by sheer craziness of concept. So, I have decided that I am going to do the same thing. I am going to use Facebook and see if I can’t create a social buzz of my own and see what comes of it. It will probably flop like Bob Dole before Viagra but it is worth trying. If it works, I will be all smug. If it fails I will say it was just a social experiment. Once I finalize everything and get the page all set up, I will post it here. It may be as early as tomorrow since Idol is on tonight and I really don’t care about that much. I might also do some cleaning tonight so maybe a few days … I am digressing again. In other words, tune in soon to see what crazy high jinx I come up with! Until then, if you want to follow me on Facebook click below. I think you have to be signed into Facebook. Another privacy thing.

Bob Richardson

I know, counter to what I am talking about but what the hell.

That’s all for today … I think … I really lost my place half way through. So, until next time … “I owe you guys an apology. I never should have quit. I don’t want to be the guy that just drives around throwing eggs at people”