Why I Will Miss Campaign Season

By now, everyone is aware that the election is over, the votes are counted, and a winner has been declared. Millions of Americans are crying, rejoicing, getting stoned (in Colorado and Washington) or just decompressing after the months and months of commercials, mailings and robo-calls. While I am glad that I won’t have to see another campaign ad for a while, there is one aspect of the endless bombardment of negativity that I will miss. I will miss the fact that the campaign ads took over the news from Lindsay, Snookie, The human thumb and a myriad of other freak shows that seem to qualify as news these days.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t enjoy watching the political ads, however, they were a nice break from hearing about people who are famous for being famous train wrecks. As annoying and condescending as some of the ads were, they were still more pertinent to my life than Snookie having a baby or Lindsay running over someone in a parking garage.

Unfortunately, now we must return to those days of yester-month and tune into the news to see the top story of how a new Kardashian sex tape is being released of Bruce Jenner and Hulk Hogan, doing extreme couponing with Honey BooBoo.

I know, I am cranky and yes I still yell at my own kids to get off my lawn. Have a great evening and may the force be with you when you wish upon a Death Star.

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It’s Time For A Change

Hi. My name is Bob Richardson and I am considering thinking about forming a possible committee to look into whether or not I should decide on forming a focus group that would research the possibility of hiring a consultant who would determine the feasibility of me potentially gathering feedback on helping me decide if I should ponder the possibility of running for office.

In communities all over the area, citizens, just like you, ordinary, every day people, are begging for change. Some of them have a sign they hold up, others just have the tin cup and dirty clothes, but they all are longing for the same thing … money. Too many politicians today ignore this fact and focus on what their opponent has done or not done, and not on what the people need.

If I decide to run, I promise that my campaign will touch on what is important, depending on what I am running for. I will not lie about my opponents during any event that is being recorded. I will not stray from the issues, whatever they may be and I will give up front and honest answers if it is determined that it will help me win.

My opponents, whomever they may be, have voted to kill all flowers on the planet. They have not voted on whether it is an African or European Swallow. They have taken money from the “need a penny” tray without ever adding a penny. They have supported causes that Robot Chicken wouldn’t even parody. I also have it on good authority that 3 of the other candidates actually enjoyed Ishtar. These are not qualities that we wish for the leaders of our next generation of children.

How am I going to make a difference you ask? What are MY qualifications? I was born a number of years ago and have lived my entire life. I have never really cared about politics and still really don’t now. Yes, when I was younger, I was a witch … but I got better. I have been hunting with friends before and managed to NOT shoot anyone. I was never a Russian femme fatale, however I do occasionally enjoy Russian dressing on my salad. I do admit that on occasion, when I was younger, I lost my biscuits after a night of partying, but never lost my desire for them covered with a nice sausage gravy. I know how to deficit spend and in whatever office I hold, I will bring an integrity and professionalism not seen since Mr. Howard, Mr. Fine and Mr. Howard taught the alphabet at Mildew College in 1938.

With this in mind, please turn out to vote and see if I decided to give a damn.

This message was not paid for by any friends of Bob Richardson, in fact, they asked him to not even mention that they were affiliated with him in any way.