Archive for Dave Grohl

Have You Ever Wondered?

Posted in Music, Nonsense, TV/Movies with tags , , , , , , , , , on January 14, 2012 by Bob

Monsters Inc. was on TV tonight and I thought Tori might like to watch it. Ok, I thought it would be visually appealing enough that Tori would sit in her high chair so I could get some work done. It worked. Something that came to me for some reason was, if this took place over a day or two or three, don’t you think that when they went to put the child back in the room that there would be cops all over the place? I mean, the kid was missing for at least 2 days. Just curious if I am the only person that has ever thought of that.

I was watching our recorded episode of The Soup and caught the last few second of the show After Lately. I am not really sure what was going on but, apparently one of the characters got to meet Dave Grohl and now is stalking him. I looked up the episode but couldn’t find the whole episode, just one part of it. After watching the part of the episode, I found out Dave was ON the episode and this girl was like a major stalker. I am not sure why, but it kind of reminded me of someone. I am not sure who though. If any of you could watch the below and see if you can help me out. It starts around the 1:57 mark so feel free to skip ahead. I tried to get it to start there but it doesn’t seem to want to work properly. I know some of you will have no clue but others will. I know inside jokes are in poor taste but I couldn’t resist on this one. Sorry.

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What Not To Buy … A Gifting Guide

Posted in Holiday, How To, Nonsense with tags , , , , , , , , on December 22, 2011 by Bob

So, the other day the team here at Voicesinmybrain gave our directions on how to shop last minute. We have received literally hundreds of comments on that post. Granted, they were mostly spam, but we still had a big enough response that the editorial staff got together and read through the one email we got from Melvin R. in Susquehanna, PA. This email had a simple request: “You told us how to shop and gave a few suggestions, but, what should I avoid buying for my girlfriend?” Excellent question Melvin. Since the editorial staff only has 2 women, and one of them can’t speak, there was limited input from the female perspective. We did do our best however to come up with our top 10 list of gifts NOT to get your girlfriend for Christmas (or any other holiday for that matter). In no particular order, here they are.

1. A stripper pole – No matter how sexy you think she is, and no matter how sexy SHE thinks she is, you should never suggest she dance for you like that. For this to truly be a gift, she should buy it for YOU.

2. Anything that vibrates – Do you really want to encourage her to replace you?

3. Edible Clothing – Again, this is really a gift for you. If you think it isn’t, consider the fact that she is going to be all sticky and gross after you are done slobbering all over her.

4. Cooking lessons – If she doesn’t already know how to cook, then that means she doesn’t want to. Trying a not so subtle hint as this is a possible relationship ender.  Take her to dinner somewhere nice instead.

5. Anything to do with cleaning – See #4 … same concept.

6. Gym Membership – Again, see #4 … Do you see the pattern here?

7. Clothes – So many things can go wrong with this … Wrong size which can get you in trouble, wrong style which could show her how bad your fashion sense is (I learned that one the hard way) and god forbid you buy sexy lingerie.

8. A romantic weekend – This actually depends on how long you have been together. Too soon and you will scare her away. Don’t wait too long in the relationship though or she will expect a ring during the weekend.

9. A pet – This is like saying, “I want a pet but I don’t want to take care of it so I am giving it to you as a gift so I can play with it but you have to take care of it.”

10. A poem or original song – No matter how “romantic” you think this idea might be, unless you are Dr. Seuss or Dave Grohl, all you will be saying is “I am soooo cheap!”

Remember, we worked for minutes and did a modicum of research in order to bring you this helpful information. Please do not embarrass yourself this gift giving season. Heed our advice and you will find you will be the best gifter on your side of the bed.

Confucius Say …

Posted in Food, Nonsense with tags , , , , , , , on November 15, 2010 by Bob

A few days ago, Jackie and I ordered Chinese food. Really nothing to alert the media about, however, it got me to thinking about something, the venerable fortune cookie.

For thousands of years (or for however long there have been fortune cookies) the same fortunes have been recycled over and over again. Cookie manufacturers have thrown in some excitement by teaching you a new word in Chinese or giving you your lucky numbers. (btw, I have played those lucky numbers in the lottery and they got me bupkis!)

To add even more variety to the lame fortunes, people started reading them and adding “in bed” to the end. Sometimes that makes for a very amusing fortune other times it leads to a fortune that will NEVER happen. Guys, you know the fortunes I mean.

ANYhoooo, I think it is high time to change the face of fortune cookies. We need to get rid of the lame fortunes like the below: (amended of course)

• A friend asks only for your time not your money … in bed

• Curiosity kills boredom. Nothing can kill curiosity … in bed

• In order to take, one must first give … in bed

I want to start my own fortune cookie fortune company. How hard can it be? I think that the fortunes REALLY need to seem like they are telling your fortune. Either that, or just some things that would make you do a double take. I have heard legend tell of cookies out there that actually have fortunes like the ones I am proposing. I have never seen these so I am to assume they either truly are legend, or there are not enough of them. Here are some of the fortunes that I am suggesting:

• “MEOW”

• Your car is on fire

• Yes, that itching is what you think it is

• No, she wasn’t 18

• We just cloned your credit card

• Dave Grohl is waiting for you in your bed

• Facebook will be gone in 5 years

You get the idea. I would love for people to send me some fortunes they would like to see. If my company ever gets off the ground, I will pay you if I use them. Yeah…pay you.

 

You read me rant about it last year so you know my feelings on xmas in the stores after Halloween. On my way home from work last week I saw a house that already had ALL of the xmas decorations up. AND THEY WERE LIT TOO!!! Come on people! I know the weather was nice but November 11th?!?! If you are going to put your decorations out this early … DO NOT light them, inflate them, animate them or otherwise call attention to them when it is pushing 70 degrees in Chicago!!!!

 

That’s about it for now. Until next time, remember what my good friend Charlie Chan used to say … “One small wind can raise much dust.” IN BED!

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