Archive for Accident

Blizzardmania 2011: The Aftermath

Posted in Nonsense with tags , , , , , on February 3, 2011 by Bob

The snow was predicted. The snow came. The snow stopped. Schools and businesses closed and soon all will be re-opened.

Idiotic people on the roads however, came and stayed. There were a lot of accidents on Tuesday night. I can’t blame most people but I will blame those that tried to go out on the roads after say 5 or 6 p.m. Now I know that I can’t blame everyone because some people had no choice, they needed to get home.

Wednesday was a different story. I don’t think that many people were on the roads since they weren’t plowed. We had to wait all day to get plowed. So I can’t blame stupid drivers on Wednesday. Today however, was a WAY different story. Stupid people affected my commute a number of times today. Usually I may get one traffic holdup in a week. Not 3 in a single commute!

I disagree that the roads were to blame. They weren’t that bad. It was the people that were driving on them. Sort of like guns don’t kill people, people kill people. Snow covered roads don’t cause accidents, jerk asses do … and there were plenty of them around today.

Here are a few driving tips for those who insist on endangering the rest of us.

1 ) Clean your damn windows. You need to be able to see all 4 directions out of your car. It might help if you can see out of more than just a 6 inch by 3 inch stripe on your windshield.

2 ) If the road is only wide enough for your car to fit down it, don’t read the newspaper as you drive.

3 ) As far as cell phones go, same as #2.

4 ) Combination of 1, 2 and 3 is definitely not acceptable and you should be forced off the road into the largest snowbank available.

5 ) When snow is on the road, and roads are hardly plowed, trying to cross an intersection without a light, on a busy road … means you are going to get hit and stop traffic both ways, pissing off everyone on their way home, with a crying baby who is suspected of having a poopy diaper in the car.

6 ) Guess what … one lane roads mean one lane. Don’t give me a dirty look when YOU almost crash into me when I am trying to merge, WITH my turn signal on, because I am about to run into a 10 foot high pile of snow blocking the road.

7 ) Granted, there is snow on the road, however, going 20 mph on a 50 mph road will cause just as many accidents. Don’t be a dick.

8 ) If you are over 90 you shouldn’t be out in this weather anyway so DON’T DRIVE!!!!

These are just some simple things that I wanted to pass along. By no means are these the only ways that jack asses can be kept from causing accidents. Please feel free to use your own methods of jag deterrence.


That’s all for today. I thank you for your assistance. Until next time, remember … “You are certainly the most distinguished group of highway scofflaws and degenerates ever gathered together in one place.”

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