Keep It In Your Pocket

Posted in Nonsense with tags , on January 5, 2018 by Bob

I was down in the cafeteria today at work looking to negotiate the vending of some cheesy comestibles, when I witnessed something that ruined my appetite and sent me back to my desk, destined to remain esurient the remainder of the afternoon.

As I was looking over the limited menu choices, an older gentleman, in his late 60s – early 70s, reached into his pocket, retrieved a handkerchief, blew his nose, and placed it back in his pocket. Ew.

I have never understood the use of a handkerchief to blow your nose. Why would you want to do that, put it in your pocket, let it fester, and use it over and over again. This is the age of Kleenex and Puffs. Single use tissues that you can fill with your bacteria laden disgustingness and immediately dispose of it. They even have small packs that you can put in your pocket so you can have a fresh, DRY and CLEAN one each time.

The use of a handkerchief to blow your nose repulses me. Even when I look it up on that uber trustworthy site Wikipedia, it only mentions actual blowing of nose once. It lists tons of other uses from being a hobo, to using it as a Molotov cocktail wick.

Even the heads of major movie studios and crack detectives know to throw out a handkerchief after it has been used.

Don’t get me wrong, I am a parent and have had plenty of gross tissues in my pocket and have had to use them sometimes a second time on a child. This was usually only to wipe the nose. And as soon as I had the chance, that sucker was in the trash faster than … well … FAST!

Please, if you use a handkerchief … stop. If you are short on funds, I will buy you a travel pack of tissue.

Rant over. What say you all? Am I the only one that thinks this practice should be banned by law or am I just insane?

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Death Will Be The Exercise Of Me

Posted in Celebrity Deaths, TV/Movies with tags , , , , , , , , on January 2, 2018 by Bob

I was going to go for a nice long walk today at work. I didn’t. My back hurts and I am lazy. Instead, I decided to exercise my brain and bring back the Celebrity Death Watch for 2018.

Of course, to start off the year, I need to make my predictions. I have had varying success over the years. Mostly, if you are a celebrity, and I put you on the list, you will more than likely make it until the following year. In the past, I have had 3 categories. I think we will go with that again. A brief explanation of the categories:

The Vigodas – He was on everyone’s list for years. Although he has passed, we will keep these “They’re still alive?” picks named after him. Mostly these are top picks from years past that are STILL hanging on.

Top Picks – Most likely. Usually on most lists.

Out On A Ledge – Unlikely to happen but … who knows.

I am glad I missed out on my predictions last year because … DAMN! There were so many out of left field that it boggled the mind. Let’s get this started though and move on.

 

The Vigodas – Some new ones added as some old ones have dropped off the list … literally.

Billy Graham – Pushing 100 and still pushing buttons. I think this might be the year.

Kirk Douglas – As of last month he was 101! He’s got himself a younger wife though (98) so she might be too much for him to handle

Ian McKellen – While not as old as the others … have you seen him lately?

Olivia de Havilland – 101 and going strong?

Herman Wouk – 102. I hear he wrote his own obit 4 years ago.

Carol Channing – Amazingly, her voice is getting deeper.

 

Top Picks

Liza Minnelli – While she isn’t that old comparatively, she hasn’t been doing well lately.

Bob Barker – All the spaying and neutering will finally catch up to him.

Stan Lee – I hate to say it but … Excelsior!

Jimmy Carter – The current state of affairs will be just too much.

Mel Brooks – Putting him on so that he’s got at least another year or 2!

Tim Curry – Just a feeling I got.

Pierre Cardin – Fashion is fleeting … right?

Steven Hawking – He has been making some bold statements lately. Thinking he is doing is to laugh at us soon.

 

Out On A Ledge

Charlie Sheen – The odds are stacked against him on so many levels.

Don Johnson – He hasn’t made a record in years.

Axl Rose – Obvious, isn’t it?

Jenny McCarthy – Plastic surgery accident while eating a Wahlburger.

All YouTube “stars” – Big pipe dream on that one but, still …

Hoda Kotb – She will go into withdraw from not being able to drink the first 3 hours of the Today Show

Going to end it here before I start getting into areas that cause WAY too much derision. And before I start using more words like derision. As always, if you have some picks of your own … drop a comment and save them for posterity. We can go back and look at the end of the year!

Welcome to 2018 … Now Help Me Please

Posted in Nonsense on January 1, 2018 by Bob

Yes, it is 2018. While I popped back on a few days ago, I made a conscious decision NOT to look back at 2017. IT was rough and I didn’t keep up on it the way I have in years past. I am still trying to figure out how I want to go about the year. I have a lot of thoughts and feelings on the coming year, but I haven’t sorted them all out yet. I know, the new year is here so I better get with it.

I would like your guidance on something though. My header image is a picture of our American Bulldog Piper. Sadly, she passed away right before Thanksgiving. It was pretty rough and we are still getting used to her not being around. When I started back up, Mrs. Voices said I needed to change my image. I thought I would leave it as a tribute/remembrance.

I bring it to you, the voices OUTSIDE my brain, for your thoughts on the matter. I promise that as we move into the year, I won’t be so depressing. However, this is one of those housekeeping things that just needs to be done.

Please comment or vote below.

 

 

 

I Have Lost My Mind

Posted in Uncategorized on December 31, 2017 by Bob

A few years ago, my sister invited my little voices over to her house to spend NY Eve at her house with her little voices. This year I thought it would be a fine idea to reciprocate since we haven’t been home for a NY with the kids for a while.

The last few days, the way my little voices have been rolling around in my head, I am wondering what I have signed up for. I am scared. We will see if we make it. I would say I could solve everything by drinking but … that might not be good to take care of the kids. Wish us luck!

On a side note

Hopefully you can read this all in one thing without being just a sample in your feed. Trying to adjust things … slowly but surely.

Testing … Testing … Is this thing still on?

Posted in Uncategorized on December 28, 2017 by Bob

It has come to my attention recently … by that I mean today … that I haven’t posted in damn near 2 years. Why is this? I really have no idea other than I got lazy, was working, was spending time with the little voices … was lazy. However, I have decided that I want to start writing again. Annoying the few people that might still be following this bit of craziness. I bet it surprised you when this showed up in your email or however you get this, didn’t it?

Well, today is NOT the day for anything exciting or Earth shattering. It is mainly making sure that my login still works and that I still exist.

I can promise some new and exciting things coming in 2018! Not necessarily on my blog but SOMETHING exciting has to happen in 2018 somewhere, right?

So, unblock me, re-block me, get excited or dread the future because I”M BACK BABY! Soon.

The Grammys: My Unqualified Assesment

Posted in Music, Nonsense, TV/Movies with tags , , , , on February 16, 2016 by Bob

So, I didn’t watch the Grammy’s last night because … Blackhawks. That and I really don’t have any idea of who most of the people up for awards even are or what any of the music is. (These days, my musical repertoire includes the themes for Paw Patrol, Shimmer & Shine and the like)  I figure I can watch anything that was really good (performance wise) on line today or tomorrow, once I hear what is good and what isn’t. This is so I can avoid the brain tumor and bleeding eyes and ears I received a few years ago watching some abomination that Nicki Minaj put forth.

As I look through the list of winners, I realize that I STILL have no clue what is really going on in the music world. I know a few names of artists and songs. For example, I know of Uptown Funk because my kids sing it all the time. I know of Bruno Mars because of the before mentioned song that made me spit take when I heard my children sing it for the first time (also the first time I heard it).

I know of Taylor Swift, although I wish I didn’t, and I am aware of her album 1989 due to the endless commercials that Xfinity had telling me to experience it. I declined.

I am familiar with Skrillex because it is fun to say although I admit, I couldn’t tell you anything he/she/it does.

I also see that Justin Bieber wasn’t REALLY killed in Zoolander 2. Marking THAT movie off my list now.

I know Buddy Guy, Ricky Martin, Louis CK and Jimmy Carter (I can really bust a move to some of his earlier work).

I can’t remember if I have heard any Glen Campbell (too soon?) and um … that’s about it.

Out of the many people/songs I don’t know by name or instant recognition, Alabama Shakes is something I thought you got from Southern Comfort withdrawal, pimping a butterfly just doesn’t make sense and I may have to search out Snarky Puppy just because I like the name.

I know there is a lot more to the Grammy’s than the awards but, I don’t get most of it. I will probably look up Lady Gaga’s performance so that I can pretend I am relevant since she apparently is.

Outside of that, I will continue to over-indulge in Schoolhouse Rock which my children are now addicted to. It was fun listening to it once an hour … once a week. Not so much everyday for 40 minutes straight.

 

On a side noteI still have a picture of my dog as my main image. I still need a better image up there. Any suggestions?

He’s Not Just Hiding In The Bathroom

Posted in Celebrity Deaths with tags , , on January 26, 2016 by Bob

While I have been lax in producing a Celebrity Death prediction list this year, I have still been following the trend this month. Today, I am extremely distraught. I am heartbroken as the one constant, the one name I began my list writing with every year … has passed. Abe … who has died many times over the years … has died.

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I am truly devastated by this. Not because I knew him. Not because he was taken far too early. I am heartbroken because, now that he is gone, some jack wad TV executive will get a hair up his ass to “reboot” Fish or Barney Miller as a movie and will destroy the fond memories of Abe.

Rest In Peace Mr. Abe Vigoda. May you always be remembered for anything besides Look Who’s Talking.

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“We are the children of children and we live as we are shown.” – Chief of the Waponis

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