Archive for January, 2014

Celebrity Death Watch 2014 – It’s A Dead Man’s Party

Posted in Celebrity Deaths, Nonsense, TV/Movies with tags , , , , , , on January 2, 2014 by Bob

It’s a new year, and it is time to make a new list. I have to go back and see if any of my predictions for last year were correct. I have not been as diligent with the dead as I would have liked. However, I REALLY think that this year is going to be a year of surprises in the world of death. There will be no free passes, no monkey’s taking over bodies and no new Brendan Fraser movies. This has nothing to do with anything other than I watched Monkeybone recently. There are a LOT of people that I think SHOULD be on this list. Let’s not mince words here … there are some celebs that should just die already. Once again, I have my obvious choices and fantasy league. I am also going to take some of the perennials off of the “obvious” list and place them in their own category of “They Just Keep Hanging On”. I think I will keep that one short for the inaugural run. Ok, here we go!

We will start with:

They Just Keep Hanging OnThose who are always on the list

Zsa Zsa Gabor – I don’t know what to say. She is pushing 100 by some accounts and she is still alive … as far as we know. I do think she is about to be named “Bob” if you throw her in a lake but, as far as any government can figure out, she is still alive. 5 years on the list.

Abe Vigoda – By no means do I want him gone, he is my inspiration, however, I have to add him into this section because he has been on EVERY celebrity death watch list since before he was born.

Eli Wallach – Yup, he is still around. 98 years. He may not be good or bad anymore but I am pretty sure he is ugly.

Kirk Douglas – His chin cleft has been around longer than the Grand Canyon.

Billy Graham – Maybe there is something to this church stuff?

Due to dieNew predictions or not perennial favorites

Gene Wilder – New to the list this year is Mel Brooks’ buddy and long time star of many of Mel’s movies. The comic genius that he is, is looking not all that great. He may be joining Gilda this year at some point.

Mel Brooks – He is not quite the 2000 year old man yet, and the Schwartz is with him, he is slowing down and hasn’t done much in the last few years. The way back machine won’t be saving him this year.

Hal Holbrook – Making a return appearance … and what an appearance he is. Just look at him. That explains why HE is on the list.

Christopher Lee – He may not actually die, he may just turn into a vampire … or move to the Shire.

Betty White – While we haven’t had to be inundated by her lately, she might still just be famous enough that it would be a shocker.

Martin Landau – He drools when he talks. Although, he is still making movies.

Shirley Temple – Her good ship Lollipop is going to sink.

Ian McKellan – Super busy gay old man is going to over exert himself … somehow … and his future days will past before his eyes.

Peter Fonda – Why not?

Al Pacino – I just have a weird feeling about this one. Can’t explain it.

Robert Loggia – I have wanted him dead ever since I got stuck behind him, Robert Loggia, at the airport I have wanted him gone. Oh wait, that wasn’t me. Ok, so maybe I don’t want him dead but someone else must. That is a harbinger.

Fantasy Picks – I kinda hate these because they are so unlikely that one day one of these will come true and I will feel bad.

Miley Cyrus – She is going to twerk herself to death. Yeah, I went for the cheap and easy one.

Justin Bieber – I have to keep him on here just because he needs to be. Might be the one exception to my opening statement about this list.

Homer Simpson – Hot on the heels of Brian getting killed off on Family Guy, they are going to try the same thing on The Simpsons. Homer will die and come back to life … as Peter Griffin.

John Travolta – He will leave Scientology and never be heard from again.

Jennifer Lawrence – She is far too good to be true. She is going to die during an autoerotic asphyxiation thing.

Danny Elfman – No reason other than I had to tie the title into the list somehow.

I am going to stop right there because I am realizing how macabre this thing is. That and I have a real bad headache. You know the kind that are at the base of the back of your skull and every time you try to look up or down it feels like your spine is being yanked out by the Predator … yeah, one of those. That is what 13 inches gets ya these days.

I may add to the list, or, feel free to add some yourself. I know there are many other sick individuals like myself out there.

Celebrity Deaths – December’s Dirt Naps

Posted in Celebrity Deaths, TV/Movies with tags , , , , , , , , , , on January 1, 2014 by Bob

The year has ended and so have the lives of some more famous folks. I would do a year in review but that is really too much work. I also admit that because of the holidays, I didn’t really pas as close of attention this month as I should have … again. I am sure that this list is far from complete. Tomorrow, I will be posting my 2014 predictions so be sure to come back or sign up to get it! Here we go with December’s dead folks.

 

Nelson Mandela – 95 – South African President – Dec 5

Peter O’Toole – 81 – Actor Lawrence of Arabia – Dec 14

Joan Fontaine – 96 – Actress – Dec 15

George Jacobs – 87 – Frank Sinatra’s butler – Dec 28

James Avery – 68 – Uncle Phil – Dec 31

 

See you all tomorrow for the future of celebrity death!

 

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