How To Make Enemies At Work

Yes ladies and gentleman, it is another VIMB “How To” moment. Today’s moment is brought to you by the acrid smell of burnt popcorn as it wafts through the office on a Friday afternoon, making the end of a long and arduous work week all the more needed. So, without further adieu but a large middle finger to the person that does this EVERY week …

How To Make Enemies At Work

  1. Remove the outer plastic wrapper from a bag of microwave popcorn
  2. Unfold bag and place in work-place microwave oven
  3. Press “popcorn” button
  4. After approximately two and a half minutes, when timer ends, press “popcorn button again (alternately you can set the timer for 5 more minutes)
  5. Go back to your desk
  6. When the smoke and smell of failure finally reach your desk, go to microwave and remove your smoldering bag
  7. Place directly into garbage can without dousing in water
  8. Walk away so no one knows it was you
  9. Make new bag of popcorn in microwave oven on other side of office




7 Responses to “How To Make Enemies At Work”

  1. So that was you?!

  2. Just to be clear .. .this was directed at the person that did it. It was NOT … I repeat NOT me!

  3. I have a coworker notorious for leaving popcorn unattended. If I had to count all the times we’ve had to grudgingly open every openable window in the office with grimaces…Well, I’d lose count.

  4. Mrs. Voices Says:

    That’s why my company, in one of their finer moments, chose to remove all microwaves, refrigerators etc from each floor and move them solely to the cafeteria area in the basement. Now if you want burnt popcorn, you have to stink up 11 floors of elevator first.

  5. Dude. Burnt popcorn is awful! That sucks.

  6. Holy cow! That person used to work at my school!

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