An Open Letter To Facebook

Dear Facebook,

I would like to formally congratulate you on the good sense to just bow out and let Google+, Twitter and Linkedin win in the Social networking arena. Your “improvements” are non user friendly, and it is wholly unprofessional to not have an opt-out or customizable option. I do however appreciate the fact that your latest “upgrade” will more than likely increase the value of my Google stock.

I can emphatically say that you have no idea what stories or updates are of interest to me, you have no way of knowing who my close friends or coworkers are, and if you want to decide who I see updates from, then you should also decide which of my bills you should pay for me.

The scrolling updates bar on the right side of the screen proves that you do not know who I want to see updates from. It is distracting and there is no way to easily see the entire conversation that a comment was posted about. To use industry terms … YOUR UI SUCKS ASS!

Mark *uckerburg, in the spirit of  you not being a dick, I expect to have a formal apology from you, posted to everyone’s wall, by tomorrow morning. This should state that you screwed up, the constant screwing with our lives was a mistake, and that you are splitting the company up into at least 3 different entities.

I, along with many other bloggers, investor groups, developers, cat hoarders and out of work cartoonists, have been adding pieces to the full page newspaper obituary for Facebook for some time now. We do appreciate the fact that month after month you make it easier and easier to write. The only thing that we ask is that you formally change the name of your company to Fecesbook so that it matches our obituary.

I hope that this letter finds you buried ass deep in complaints and that you die a quick painful death as a Social Site.

Cordially,

The staff at Voicesinmybrain.com

P.S. If you find it in your heart to sue me for anything, I welcome the publicity and notoriety.

Advertisements

3 Responses to “An Open Letter To Facebook”

  1. I still haven’t been able to see the new Facebook. Maybe they “knew” I’d hate it.

    However, did you really just call LinkedIn a winner in the social media war? Really? I find that to be one of the biggest wastes of cyberspace I’ve seen. I’ve found no redeemable value to LI.

    • Those were all I could think of as I was writing this quickly. Normally, I wouldn’t really consider LI an actual social network per se.

  2. It’s almost bad enough to send me back to MySpace. *Almost*

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: