I Went To Starbucks

I had an afternoon of client meetings. On my way out, I got an email on something that needed to be fixed right away. I had to stop somewhere right away and find me some functioning wi-fi. I would have loved to find a Panera, I could have used a snack as I didn’t get to finish lunch today. I was in a hurry though and had to stop at the first place I found … Starbucks.

I do not particularly like going to a SB. I do not know how to order and I had to get something so I wasn’t a slouch. I even order at least a beverage if I go into a McDonald’s for an emergency bathroom stop. I walked up to the counter and looked at the very tiny type menu. I know one thing at SB … Frappuccino and that is ONLY because of the chocolate milk things they sell at the 7-11.

I stood at the counter and said “Frappuccino, whatever size medium is.” She looked at me like I was a moron and said “vegrantall” or whatever it is. I said yes and she paused again. She looked at me and said “Cofee?” The first thing that went through my mind was wanting to look at her and say “Isn’t that what you sell here? No, not coffee, give me a root beer frappuccino.” What I really said is “yes please”. I later found out that I could have asked for mocha, caramel, etc. and that kind of made me feel stupid all over again.

My last mistake of the visit was I stood there waiting for my receipt. I was never offered one. After a few seconds she looked at me with slight disgust and said “your drink will be up in a minute”. I am not sure if I ever got my receipt, I never saw one.

I got my drink, sat down, did my work and got the hell out of there. I felt dumb. In the future, I will go out of my way, take the extra time and go to Panera or even McDonald’s.


7 Responses to “I Went To Starbucks”

  1. I feel the same way when I go to La Madeline or Jason’s Deli. When I stand there waiting, they tell me to move down the line. When I move down the line, they tell me I’m supposed to wait. Who makes up these rules, anyway?

    • I think I could make a lot of money by publishing my own “Starbucks for Dummies” book. Unless there already is one … I never research these get rich quick schemes in advance.

  2. what a bothers me is when i visit sb (yeah i’m stupid enough to return) they sort of glance (STARE) at the cup marked tips, after i order and before giving me my receipt (you have to ask for it). i’m like you seriously want a tip for taking my money and moving me down the line to wait for my latte – which is either way too hot or f’ing lukewarm, dude. not from me homeboy. as for mickey d’s . . .

  3. Funny and relatable! I especially loved the “Yes, please.” I wonder if the SB employees like to smirk at customers like us. Yet I’d rather be clueless than that guy who knows what he’s ordering, and does so with complete arrogance — I once saw a meme to the effect of, the more words you use for your Starbucks order, the bigger an asshole you are.

    • Seriously, I think the people behind me and sitting at the tables were laughing at me. I even LOOKED like I didn’t have a clue as I walked in. The meme … THAT is funny stuff.

  4. I worked at a Starbucks before grad school and I *still* have to think about the proper terminology… and still get it wrong.

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