Time To Sell Myself

You read that right. It is time for me to sell my talents on the open market. We recently had some un-anticipated daycare changes come down the pike and we are realizing that day care in this country is INSANELY expensive. I was thinking of maybe hiring a live-in au pair … but there are sooo many reasons and movies of the week that show why that would not work.

Anyhoo, I have decided that one of two things have to happen. Either …

A) We need to find out how to get Tori into child modeling. Perhaps she is cute enough that she could pay for her own day care and I could just quit work and be her agent. And just to be clear, this would NOT be toddlers in tiaras! I am talking about like clothing ads or some cute tv commercial would be ok. NOT runways and fake tans and all that creepy JonBenét Ramsey crap. Only problem is, we have no clue how to get her into that in a reputable way. Oh well.


B) I need to sell my goofy voice talents. If this were still the 80s I would be set selling celebrity impersonation answering machine messages. That really doesn’t work these days with no answering machines. Even voice mail is not a cash cow because most people just text. No one even calls anyone anymore. So, I am left with hoping that I get a real cool vice over job out of the blue that will pay me some extra cash. Of course it would be nice if I got a job as a cartoon that would allow me to just do that for a living. I know, I need to go out and give it a go! It’s the old catch 22 situation. Gotta work to pay the bills so I can’t take the time and what not to pursue being a cartoon.

So, if anyone knows of any modeling gigs for Tori, or any voice over gigs for me, let me know. I don’t think Seth MacFarlane or Matt Groening will be calling me anytime soon. (but if they happen to come here to my site, Seth, Matt, please watch the video below and see if you need me for anything. I can do more voices than just these, there are a LOT in my brain) Yeah, I am shamelessly whoring myself out again. I haven’t done it in a while.


3 Responses to “Time To Sell Myself”

  1. […] of you that know me well, or have read any of my posts where I whore myself out, know that I am a pretty big Muppets fan. They have a new movie coming out soon. I am a little […]

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