Where Is Darwin When You Need Him

I am not sure if it was yesterday, or today, or last week … but I heard a report on the radio that Al Gore said there were too many people. That people were causing too much pollution. That the United States of America needed to start enacting population control laws … or some such nonsense. Other countries do it, why shouldn’t we right?

Why do we need the government to get more up in our grills, making new laws. What they should do, and this would solve the problem Mr. Gore is worried about, is to get rid of some of the laws we already have.

The problem is apparently too many people right? We need to repeal some of the laws that protect us. A lot of these laws do indeed save lives, but most of them save lives of the people that shouldn’t be re-producing anyway. The Darwin principle. Survival of the fittest.

Let people eat trans fats, salt, foie gras, sugary drinks and buy booze on Sunday. Repeal helmet laws and seat belt laws. Make fireworks legal all year round. If people want to drive drunk, put them on a closed demolition track and let them have at it. Close all health clubs and sell Ephedrine laced water on every corner.

Take warning labels off of ladders, peanuts, and hair dryers. If someone wants to use their toaster in the tub, let ’em!

(I love children, and I would NEVER want harm to come to them so take this in the spirit it is meant)

Continue making drop side cribs, install crib bumpers at the factory, make everything with BPA and small parts that can come off with the slightest tug.

Let’s go back to the days when toys actually fired small projectiles, and magnets were in everything.

All of the things that are meant to protect us are the same things that are making us live longer and are now destroying the earth. Instead of the new pictures of rotting lungs, tracheotomies and whatever else they are putting on cigarette packs, maybe they should put pictures of dead lakes, melting ice caps and barren deserts on the packs to encourage smoking to help thin out the population.

Until next time, remember … “It’s important to rescue the frog.”




4 Responses to “Where Is Darwin When You Need Him”

  1. Yes!
    Or, we could require people to pass a test or 12 before they can have children.

  2. A Modest Proposal modernized for the 21st century? Swift would be proud.

  3. It does make you wonder sometimes why we blame the ladder when some guy standing on the last rung falls off and breaks his leg. Does gravity need a warning label?

  4. […] maybe peanuts are another of nature’s way to take care of things. Like I talked about in a previous post … people need to stop trying to stop natural […]

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