Archive for June, 2011

A “Rules Of The Road” Public Service Announcement

Posted in Nonsense with tags , , , , , , on June 22, 2011 by Bob

The following is for all of the #$*&#%$* drivers I had to deal with this morning and this afternoon at intersections with flashing lights. It is information pulled from the Illinois Rules of the Road.

Right-of-Way
A driver must yield the right-of-way to other drivers or pedestrians:

• When making a right turn on a red light after a complete stop. • After coming to a complete stop at an intersection where there is a stop sign or flashing red signal. If there is no stop line, stop before the crosswalk. If there is no crosswalk or stop line, stop at a place where all approaching traffic can be seen.
• When making a left turn on a red light after a stop from a one-way street to another one-way street with traffic moving to the left.
• When more than one driver reaches a four-way stop intersection. The first driver to stop should be the first to go. When two vehicles on different roadways arrive at a four-way stop intersection at the same time, the vehicle on the left should yield to the vehicle on the right.
• When two vehicles on different roadways reach an uncontrolled intersection at the same time. The vehicle on the left should yield to the vehicle on the right.

• To oncoming traffic when making a left-hand turn. If you enter an intersection while the light is green, you may finish your turn even though the light turns red.

• To through traffic when approaching a MERGE sign. You must increase or decrease your speed to avoid a crash.

• When approaching a YIELD sign. You should slow down or stop to avoid a crash.

• Even after the light turns green when there are vehicles in the intersection.
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• When emerging from an alley, building, private road or driveway after coming to a complete stop.
• To cross traffic when on the terminating highway of a “T” intersection with no traffic control signs or signals.
• When approaching emergency vehicles using audible and visual signals.

This Is A Test

Posted in Nonsense with tags , , , , , on June 21, 2011 by Bob

This is only a test. If this were a real emergency, that I actually thought was an emergency, first of all, I wouldn’t interrupt your programming. The station has a stupid graphic in the bottom 1/4 of the screen, pulling the program out of HD, and blocking a large portion of the screen. There is no need for a “meteorologist” to interrupt what I am watching and telling me the same thing that I have been looking at for the last 30 min.

Also, if this was a real emergency, I would realize that if I have the technology, to interrupt programming through an emergency broadcast network, that I could make the stupid announcement sound like an actual person instead of some transistor radio sounding robot voice.

If I am in the middle of a storm, let me enjoy it. Don’t shove your warnings and watches down my throat every 15 seconds. Tell me to go in my basement and that’s the end of it. You already told me to take shelter. Guess what, I am taking shelter, I am not going to see you telling me to keep taking shelter.

Anyhoo, gotta go to the basement now. I don’t get internet down there so I have to end. No, there isn’t a storm coming. Jackie is making me go down there for making fun of her being paranoid about storms.

A Huge Helping Of Cheese

Posted in Nonsense with tags , on June 20, 2011 by Bob

This last weekend was my first Father’s Day. I know I said that it was great and called out a few things. I have to say though, that after reflecting on the day, being a dad is the best thing I have done and will ever do. Being at work today, and thinking about the crappy things at work, the things that you always bitch and complain about, I realized that it really all doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. There are so many more important things in life than worrying about other people and their annoying tendencies. Sure, you can still complain about them, and I know I will, but it makes everything so much less stressful when you know you are going home to something that you can’t believe that you actually made. Yeah, I am getting all sappy so … Just remember what is important in life. Work pays the bills but everything else makes life worth living.

Happy Father’s Day – My Day

Posted in Holiday with tags , on June 19, 2011 by Bob

I am celebrating my first Father’s Day this year. Tori got me a card. We cuddled. It was nice. It was supposed to rain all weekend. It didn’t. I don’t care. I am NOT mowing the lawn. I am going to sit here and play Wii, relax. and then go to dinner. Screw you mother nature. You will NOT ruin my relaxation with good weather.

Happy Father’s Day … again … every father and every Dad out there.

My First

Posted in Holiday, Nonsense with tags , , , , , on June 18, 2011 by Bob

I am enjoying my first Father’s Day weekend. I spent the day with my two favorite ladies today. We spent the day out shopping, relaxing and then came home and had a nice grilled chicken, Veggie Kabob, and Couscous dinner. It was my own marinade and it was actually pretty good.

Tomorrow we are going out to dinner with my dad and last week night we went out with Jackie’s dad.

Best part of today was spending it with Tori. Tomorrow will be the same, except I think Papa might try to be with Tori a lot since he spoils her.

To all my fatherly friends out there…HAPPY FATHER’S DAY!!

My Turn At Weiner

Posted in Nonsense with tags , , , , , , , on June 17, 2011 by Bob

Yeah.

 

I waited all week.

 

Everyone has said something about it.

 

I grilled some brats earlier in the week. I had some chicken and some burgers. I failed to talk about the Weiner. Ball Park, Oscar Meyer, David Berg or Hebrew National. None of them write the headlines better than Rep. Anthony Weiner’s weiner.

“Weiner pulls out” was my fav of the last few days. I really just had to write about it because I would feel remiss as a blogger if I didn’t write something about it.

In reality, I find the whole thing ridiculous and why should we care. There is a lot of other actual important stuff that we should be paying attention to instead of who is texting their shlongs across the country. The economy, the hungry, the other usual things that we, as a country, think are less important that wondering if Lindsey Lohan had a drink today.

Yeah, I have no clue what I am babbling about tonight. Rebecca Black also pulled her “Friday” video from the web because she says they are violating her copyright or some BS. I don’t know why I know this, but I do. Personally, it sickens me that I know this, so I am going to stop typing now.

Syfy Movie In My Driveway

Posted in Nonsense, TV/Movies, Wacky News with tags , , , , , , , , , on June 16, 2011 by Bob

So, we came home from Tori’s swim lesson tonight, it was getting to be around dusk. It has been the wettest spring in like the history of the universe this year, and as we pulled into the driveway, I could actually see the swarms of mosquitoes landing on my car. They were thumping against the sides and roof like large hail chunks. I could see their nasty little sucker needles chipping into my windshield. We huddled in fear. We didn’t want to even open the garage. Being trapped in the car was bad enough, we certainly didn’t want to let them into the house via the garage. These insects were HUGE! At least 4 ft long. AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH we BARELY GOT INTO THE HOUSE ALIVE!!!!!!!!

 

 

Ok, maybe not THAT bad, but it was close. I think I may pay the village personally to come out and spray every night for a few weeks.

Until next time, remember … “I could have stayed in my little cubby hole under that boat, till the cops showed up. But noooooooo… you guys had to come along and find me. And NOW I’m on a mission to save the world from giant mosquitos! Man, the late show doesn’t get any better than this.”

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