It’s Never As Good As You Hope

Welcome to Techtainment Tuesday everyone, the shortest running and most incoherent column about tech and entertainment on the web that you don’t need 3D glasses to read. Last week we left our hero dangling from the magazine rack at the local 7-11, patiently waiting for the 3D edition of Playboy to hit the stands. Friday came and went. The issue hit the stands. I thought that being such a novelty that this particular issue would have sold out fast and been gone for a while, unattainable to the casual research shopper. BOY was I wrong.

It took me until Monday to get around to picking up this potential technological master … piece. I stopped at a local purveyor of adult entertainment … a 7-11 on my way home from work, fully expecting them to be long sold out. I figured this would be the case even more, since the store I stopped at is in a part of town that you would expect them to sell out quickly. They had a full rack (sooo totally pun intended) of them. So, I grabbed a bottle of coke, small bag of Funyuns, Butterfingers, pack of gum, $5 in Lotto tickets, (didn’t want them to think I was there just for the magazine after all) went to the counter and when they asked “is this all sir” I said “and oh yeah…why don’t you give me one of those 3D Playboys too … for research of course.” He looked at me a little weird when I said the research part but what do I care.

I resisted the temptation to open the hermetically sealed publication as soon as I got to my car. I headed off to the grocery store. When I got there, I took it out of the bag and prominently displayed it on the dash of my car. I thought the old folks  from Sun City that were at the Jewel that afternoon would get a kick out of it. I am starting to digress.

Later that evening I decided it was time. I tried for 2 min to pull open the plastic bag that holds the magazine. They sure don’t want you to get in there easily. Finally I cut open the bag and let all of the subscription cards fall onto the floor. There was really only one thing I was looking for at first of course, the 3D centerfold. I went to the normal centerfold area (I assume that they are always at the middle right? I am not that familiar with the magazine) and was a little disappointed to see just your every day normal naked centerfold. I closed it and looked at the cover. “Including bonus 3D centerfold”. Hmmm.

I looked the centerfold over for a moment, and then realized it was not the same one as on the cover. Upon further research I found the 3D glasses. They were sponsored. By True Blood. There was a True Blood print ad in 3D in the back of the magazine. That ad folded out to be the 3D model. I put the glasses on, held the centerfold out. It was a centerfold in basic red/blue 3D. I have to admit, I wasn’t all that impressed. It was one picture and she was naked in a sideways pose. It wasn’t even like anything was jumping out at you. She just looked like she was in front of the bookshelf or whatever furniture was there.

I haven’t read the rest of the magazine yet, I flipped through looking at the little cartoons on the various pages, even those were lacking in some respect. I might read the articles except one is with some right wing radio guy and the other is 20 Q with Russel Brand. Good thing I was actually buying it for the naked ladies this time. Not really the 2 interviews that would be at the top of my reading list. Overall I think I have to give the 3D playboy centerfold 1 ½ stars. It was cool but, not THAT cool. I hope the other parts of the magazine are better so that I don’t feel I totally wasted my money.

But still related to technology, we had our 20 week ultrasound today. Initial indications are that the baby is a girl … as I have predicted all along. The reason I say initially, is that the ultrasound tech really didn’t seem like she was in the game today. I can’t blame her fully, it seemed as it was a bad morning in the office, but still, she could have been a little more thorough explaining things to us and not asking “Wanna know what it is?” in a “why do I have to be here all day” attitude. We will be getting the fancy futuristic looking ultrasounds so we will find out more definitive then.

That’s all for today campers. Tune in next week, same tech time, same tainment channel for another exciting episode of Techtainment Tuesday. Until then remember … “I’m a 3D boat captain”

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