But I Can’t Email While Driving?

The simple answer to this is “It’s illegal in Illinois.” Other than it being against the law, there are many other reasons why I personally can’t email, text or do anything else that requires massive coordination while driving.  One of them is I am just clumsy. I never have been able to text with one thumb. I can barely email with 2 thumbs on a landscape keyboard no matter if it is virtual or otherwise. If I were to attempt this while driving, or even trying to rush out a quickie during a stop light, it would come out a mash of letters and symbols that would look as if  a toddler had gotten a hold of my phone. I accept the fact that I can’t type and drive. I welcome the excuse that the new law has given me. Now, I can say “Sorry, couldn’t answer, I was driving.” If people need to get a hold of me they can call or get no response until I have arrived at my destination. I have gotten to the point that I don’t even like talking on my phone unless I am using my blue tooth. Mind you, none of this is done out of safety, it is done because I am a klutz.

I have no problem with the law of no texting or emailing while driving. Obviously I am quite fine with voluntarily adhering to this ban. I don’t even flaunt the law because, as the walking embodiment of Murphy’s Law, I WILL be the one who gets a ticket. Because of this, imaging how angry I got when the following happened. <insert wavy lines ala Wayne’s World>

Driving along Rt. 72 on my way to work. Coming up to Rt. 25 intersection. Sitting at the stop light with 3 cars in front of me. In the lane to my right, 2 cars before the light and then a cop car pulls up even with the car in front of me. My BlackBerry goes off indication a work email. I look at the phone, then the cop, the phone, the cop. Will he see if I sneak a peek? Will I get a ticket? I decide to not check the email, hoping it is nothing important. After all I don’t want to break the law. I take a sip of my beverage and then look at the car in front of me. I am a little astounded by what I see. The driver is reading the newspaper, next to a cop. I am thinking I am finally going to see some justice. This guy is flipping through sections, pulling them out, tossing them aside, blatantly holding the paper up in front of his face. I look at the cop. Nothing. Not even a scolding warning look.

The light finally turns green. I am thinking it is over with and the paper will go down. NO! This guy keeps reading the paper as we are driving down the road. AND THE COP IS STILL NEXT TO HIM! It isn’t like this guy is hiding it. He is holding the paper up in front of his face, at times totally blocking his view of the road. The cop STILL does nothing. I couldn’t pass this moron because of the cop either. Not that I think I would have wanted him behind me. At least this way he wouldn’t rear end me. This went on for about 4 miles until he turned off at another intersection. The cop … kept going.

Before I get excuses on why the cop didn’t pull him over … he was in uniform, it WAS his jurisdiction, and it was NOT a normal shift change time. Although he HAD just turned onto the road from the Dunkin’ Donuts so maybe he was just food tired. I just can’t believe that blocking your vision is legal and I can’t look to see if the text message I just got was from a relative on their way to the hospital for some reason, from my neighbors saying my house is burning to the ground or an email saying I just won 5 million dollars in the Uzbekistan national lottery. Grrr.

Speaking of reading … We just went to the Dr. to hear the baby’s heartbeat. Since we were seeing the midwife and not the Dr. and not having a major procedure done we had to wait … and wait … and wait. In the few visits that we have had so far we haven’t had to wait that long and I only had enough time to notice that most of the paintings in the office are by Georgia O’Keefe. This time I had the chance to check out the magazines in the room. The staples of Soap Opera Digest and People were there but, do people actually ever read Architectural Digest, Money and I never even heard of Dwell. Jackie says that they pick those because they are the cheapest ones on the list when kids come by to sell magazine subscriptions. Oh well. I guess I am just not classy enough to want to digest architecture.

Until next time, while your driving remember … “it’s not the speed really so much, I just wish I hadn’t drunk all that cough syrup this morning.”

4 Responses to “But I Can’t Email While Driving?”

  1. Sybil Law Says:

    *I* get Architectural Digest, and it wasn’t cheap! LOVE it, but I do love architecture, so there’s that. 🙂

    But that cop story burns me up. Seriously – I would get a ticket for jaywalking but that kind of shit happens and nothing. GAH.

    • It is times like that when I am tempted to risk impersonating an officer and have a light in my car just to scare the crap out of people like that.

  2. Back when cell phones had the old three-letter key setup, I could text without even looking at my phone and post at least 90% accuracy. Now that my Blackberry has one letter per key, I can’t even come close. Too much movement involved. Before, it was just a bunch of counting. It felt like Rainman Texting ™.

    • Even then I couldn’t text worth anything. Jackie was able to text faster with the old keypads than I could type on a regular sized keyboard.

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