Archive for January, 2010

I am a writing machine!

Posted in Nonsense on January 6, 2010 by Bob

Well, at least this week I am. I really should slow down or I am going to run out of blog posts WAY before my resolution of three a week is up. I did have to write today though to thank my friend Kevin. I was humbled to see that I was the first “Snippet” on his Snippet Wednesday. (Which I do check out each and every Wed and so should you if you haven’t already). I owe a big thanks because it has opened my blog up to a whole new group of readers. I had almost more views in 2 days than I have had total since I started. That also could be because so many people are interested in the Celebrity Death watch. Sick people that you are. And I love ya for it!

Anyhoo, Kevin has his Snippet Wednesday which pretty much ensures at least one post per week. As I need to do three every week, I figure I need to come up with something like that. Something people look forward to. Something that I look forward to writing about. While I am not above stealing of ideas, I am not going to copy his snippet Wednesday … exactly. I still need to think of something that I can do, once a week, on the same day. That is about the extent of what I will copy.

I have to come up with something that I can still put a humorous bent on. I thought about “Tech Talk Tuesdays”, where I would pick a new gadget or something and talk about it like a normal person instead of a techie or a gamer. That idea is still a maybe. The thought also crossed my mind to do “Celebrity Look – a – like Saturday. Problem is I only look like 1 maybe 2 celebrities. (Some of you know which 2 so that cuts out half the readers already) It would be a short lived segment. Any suggestions for a theme day would be appreciated as I try to become a prolific blogger.

I AM, however going to blatantly steal one of Kevin’s portions just for this one time. “Totally unrelated aside”. Actually, everything previously written above on this post is the totally unrelated aside. I just wanted to write something else beside the next thing I am writing about.

I was reading some news sites and saw they were going to have the first legal male prostitutes in Nevada. Stay with me here. The story isn’t what got me laughing, it was the banner ad above it that I found amusing. I started laughing because the whole ad hadn’t finished loading, just the main image and the headline of the story. I thought it was the best ad that could be above it. The name of the ad is blocked out, not only to avoid potential lawsuits (I am the walking embodiment of Murphy’s Law) but also to show what I first saw before the other slices of the banner loaded. I know … this was a long way to come for a cheap visual joke and I apologize.

The only thing better would be an old Wendy’s Ad with Clara Peller and her immortal words.

Until next time …

Don’t hate me because I am ugly, love me because I make you look better when I stand next to you.

Celebrity Death Watch – Part Deux

Posted in Celebrity Deaths, Nonsense, TV/Movies on January 5, 2010 by Bob

No sooner was I told that my predictions had no bold guesses, than a surprise “celebrity” death occurred. Casey Johnson, heiress to the Johnson & Johnson fortune died. Now, there is speculation that says she died days ago so the jury is still out on if it is a 2010 celeb death or not. No I am not being cold, just realistic.

However, I do agree that I need to go out on a limb and make some bold celebrity death predictions for 2010. And here they are.

Dakota Fanning – She has looked like she is going to snap for years. All that pent up emotion that makes her so creepy will finally lead to a stroke.

Duane “The Rock” Johnson – Early death runs in the family. While I respect him for not taking himself too seriously now that he is in the movies, this will also be his demise.

Shia Labeouf – No reason. He just has a funny name that is fun to say.

Amanda Bynes – Not enough scandal around this little starlet. This means she will not be with us for long.

Keanu Reeves –  Just because I really don’t like him.

Well, those are my out on a limb predictions. Still Waiting for everyone else to chime in. Come on, I know you want to!

Until next time,

Remember, I like you. But I need you to be more than just eye candy around here.

Celebrity Death Watch 2010

Posted in Celebrity Deaths, Nonsense, TV/Movies with tags , , , , , on January 4, 2010 by Bob

Welcome fellow macabre celebrity death enthusiasts. Well, enthusiasts is a little strong I guess but still. We are here for one reason. Because I wrote about upcoming celebrity deaths. I would hope you would be here reading this even if I wrote about the interest rates in Namibia, but I didn’t. Anyhoo, it is time to post my celebrity death predictions for 2010. I have done very little research on this other than to look at other sites who already did the work for me of finding ages and what not. Granted I did this ONLY for the age related death predictions. I have also thrown some others in there as well based on hunches. Since this is something I know a lot of people try to predict, I would like your top celebrity death predictions after you read mine. Just add a comment. At the end of the year wee will see who got the most correct.

Hard to narrow it down this year, but, to save space I pared it down. So without further delay… my top 10 for 2010

  1. Abe Vigoda – I have to put him on my list every year. He will be turning 90 this February I believe and he just keeps defying the odds. He is a perennial favorite.
  2. Angela Lansbury – This just may be the year where she dies instead of everyone she becomes friends with.
  3. Kirk Douglas – He’s just old.
  4. Eli Wallach – From the “He’s still alive?” files. That great character actor.
  5. Ray Bradbury – Also from the “He’s still alive?” files. At least for me. Not that I really want him dead, I just thought he already was.
  6. Zsa Zsa Gabor – Not to be cold but, would we notice or care? When she slapped the cop years ago I thought, “Wow, she is still around?”
  7. Steve Jobs – I know he just got a new liver and all but I don’t think it will last.
  8. Mary – Kate Olsen – Although I hate putting someone so young into the list, the eating disorder thing is going to catch up to her.
  9. Amy Winehouse – For obvious reasons.
  10. Rush Limbaugh – This isn’t because I dislike the man. I mean I do dislike him but, I think after his recent drug problems and trip to the ER, he isn’t going to be making an ass out of himself much longer.

Well, that’s my list. Let me know yours. We will see who got the most right at the end of the year. Kinda morbid ain’t it?

Coming soon to a blog near you

Posted in Nonsense on January 3, 2010 by Bob

Well,

I said I was going to still try to squeeze in 3 blogs in 2 days this week. Jackie however had other thoughts. I was told that Since I had written 3 blogs this week that she was saying it was good. That the week had 2 days of the new year instead of only being 2 days in the new week. Has something to do with the new math that I really don’t understand.

I do want to give my loyal readers the heads up for tomorrow, or maybe Monday. I will be compiling my Celebrity Death Watch list for the year. I will be looking for your choices and predictions as well so get ready to suggest!

Until then …

You can’t tell anyone that I’m here. For if you do, the consequences could be dire.

Nostradamus ain’t got nothin’ on me

Posted in Nonsense on January 1, 2010 by Bob

Welcome to 2010 my friends! Normally people do these lists BEFORE the new year starts, but if I am going to keep to the letter of my resolutions, I need to get three posts up in 2 days so I held off on this until today.

I am not claiming to be a great prognosticator of prognosticators. I am not claiming to have powers beyond that of the everyday man. I am not claiming that I need to be investigated by Jay and Grant of Ghosthunters. I am merely saying that last night during and after the partying, I had a few visions. It may have been the vodka, it may have been the beer, it may have been the cold medicine or even what I thought was Absinth (it turned out to be melted week old Jell-O … don’t ask). All I am sure of is that I know what is going to happen in the coming year. Come December I will look back and see how many of my predictions have come true. Everyone will be astounded at my abilities. (Don’t expect too much humor here folks. It is after all New Years Day) So without further adieu …

Bob’s 20 predictions for 2010

1.     Britney Spears will stop performing and will become a professional body builder. Really not much more to go with on that one.

2.     Adam West will ACTUALLY become the mayor of a small town in Rhode Island. He will still think he is a tomato.

3.     It will be proven that Michael Jackson is alive and working at a Burger King in Oklahoma with Elvis.

4.     The “Big One” will finally hit. However, it won’t be California that will be obliterated. It will be the Jersey Shore. Unfortunately, Snooki will survive and open her own national pizza delivery chain to compete with Dominos.

5.     Jeff Dunham will become the U.S. representative to the United Nations. After one half hour address, he will offend 75% of the delegation and be deported to Canada.

6.     By mid-March I will have given up on at least half of my New Year’s resolutions.

7.     A new virus will hit the Apple world. It will focus on the iPod touch and the iPhone. When you use any “app” that you “bump” another phone to transfer information … you will get iCrabs.

8.     The long running feud between The Simpsons & Family Guy will finally end with a cross over episode in which Peter and Homer participate in an episode of “Husband Swap”.  Much hilarity ensues.

9.     Russell Brand admits that he is indeed Lady Gaga. Katy Perry reacts by saying “Adam Lambert ROCKS!”.

10.  Tiger Woods, John Gosselin and Balthazar Getty walk into a Hooters. Ok, not much of a stretch on that one.

11.  Facebook will “redesign” 234 times in 2010. A major glitch in one of the upgrades will result in people having actual animals/crops/weapons delivered to their homes whenever they rescue, adopt, birth, find or create anything in a “ville” or “war” game.

12.  Bob will realize that 20 predictions are really hard to come up with while hungover and should have cut it down to 17.

13.  The Christmas 2010 shopping season will start on April 13th.

14.  Gas will rise above $10 a gallon and we will start riding horses again. Due to needing street cleaners on a far more constant basis, unemployment will drop to 3%.

15.  The world will realize that Ryan Seacrest is an elfin hack and he will turn in his dentures and join the on-stage revival of Pee-Wee”s playhouse.

16.  There will be one full television season (broadcast and cable) without a show about vampires.

17.  Since Number 16 was a little fuzzy, the other prediction is there will be a show about rich, spoiled, teenage vampires who work in a bakery in Beverly Hills.

18.  No one will keep up with the Kardashians

19.  Hollywood will break tradition of new and original movies and do another remake. This time it will be Ishtar staring Keanu Reeves.

20.  The Cubs will win the World Series!

Once I get some more sleep I will try to come up with something a little more amusing for the next 2 posts tomorrow.

Until next time keep the bugs off your glass and the bears off your tail.

%d bloggers like this: