So much for the seashells

On the way into work today I had ample time to think. I thought “why didn’t I work from home?”, “why is it taking 2 hours for a 30 minute commute?”, “why is Taco Bell creating their own Jared?”. That is right my fast food loving friends. Now you can lose weight at Taco Bell!

Is there anything that this fast food giant can’t do? With all of the innovations they have made to fine Mexican dining over the years, I thought that they could accomplish no more. Once again however, they have pulled through and astounded me.

When they first introduced their “Fresco Menu” I tried a few items. I was not impressed since what they do is take off all the good stuff like the cheese and sour cream. Had I known that this effort also took off a whopping 20-100 calories, I would have stuck with it! I mean, losing 2 pounds a month for a mere two years?? And all I would have to do is replace my regular Fast Food meals with Taco Bell Drive – Thru Diet menu items? Seems like a winner to me! Who wouldn’t love to have Taco Bell every day for lunch and dinner? Not I! Surely everyone I hang out with would love me for having Taco Bell for every meal as well, especially with gobs and gobs of Fire Sauce added to my choices. MMMMM good stuff! Subway’s diet … PLEASE! Jared had to WALK to the Subway everyday to get his dietary needs satisfied. With this, you don’t even have to get out of your car! Tasty AND convenient!

It seems that the predictions from the movie “Demolition Man” are coming to fruition. Could Taco Bell really be winning the fast food franchise wars? Will a gourmet location be far behind? Will wedding receptions in the not so distant future be catered by Taco Bell? Already we see them taking over and moving in with other Fast Food places. Taco Bell & KFC, Taco Bell and Pizza Hut, Taco Bell and Long John Silvers (be prepared for REAL interesting smells when you go into that last one). Taco Bell may very well win the bidding to take over the Tavern On The Green restaurant which recently closed. I know for our next anniversary, Taco bell will be high on the list of choices for dinner.

But once again, as many times before, I digress. Taco Bell is moving into the realm of Jenny Craig, Seattle Sutton, Nutrisystem and Subway. I truly am worried about the “Drive-Thru Diet”. If this is the new trend for dieting Americans then we will need a new Chihuahua with a new catch phrase “I tink I need a bigger belt”

So when asked “What do you wanna do tonight?”, reply with “I dunno. Get Taco Bell, watch “Degrassi Jr. High, lose some weight”.

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7 Responses to “So much for the seashells”

  1. Yep.
    Pathetic.
    Maybe it’s like a diuretic diet.

    • Ironically, I had Taco Bell for dinner last night after posting this. I proudly had NO diet menu items and retained all my water.

  2. I think the bigger question in relation to Demolition Man is, will Denis Leary be forced to live underground?

    We can hope, can’t we?

    • There are a number of people I can think of that I would like to see live underground. Not to mention a few things from that future I would like to see. Maybe some day. We certainly can hope.

  3. David Mazzie Says:

    I am STILL waiting for my fucking personal jetpack!!! The 21st Century SUCKS so far!!!!!

  4. […] of you may remember that a while back I wrote about the new, at the time, Taco Bell Drive Thru Diet. It supposedly featured a woman who lost weight from eating Taco Bell Fresco Menu instead of the […]

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