Archive for October 9, 2009

And the Nobel Prize goes to …

Posted in Nonsense, TV/Movies, Wacky News with tags , , , on October 9, 2009 by Bob

If you thought this was going to be a political blog today, you were wrong, mostly. I will acknowledge the winning of the Nobel Peace Prize by President Obama. Congrats! I will half acknowledge the pointless rambling of his detractors (and just ignorant people in general) that are saying he shouldn’t have it because he hasn’t changed the world in a mere 9 months in office.

There, I am done with that. Just enough to get people to tune in and read. Thought it was classier than putting a headline of “RYAN SEACREST CAST IN NEW KEEBLER MOVIE”.  I am probably plagiarizing that from someone but I am keeping it because it’s funny because he is short.

Although the last week or so they have been awarding a slew of Nobel Prizes, I beg us not to forget the lowly, and far funnier Darwin Awards. Yes, that wonderful site that honors those who remove themselves from our gene pool. I am mentioning these not because they are in the news or making any extraordinary headlines, but because I had the occasion the last few nights to watch a few of my old favorite tv shows. Cops, Real Stories of the Highway Patrol, and new amusing favs, Speeders & The Smoking Gun Presents.

Yes, as a child and still into adulthood, I have always wanted to be a cop. Not for the excitement factor necessarily, but because I wanted to be justice for all the people that say “where’s a cop when you need one”. I think that is why I like these shows because those are the people being arrested … the future Darwin Award winners.  These are some of the dumbest people on the face of the planet. “Ok Ossifer, I’m gunna tell you da troof. Dat lady der, we used to be together. But know, I called y’all cuz I bought crack from her baby daddy, and he didn’t gimme no change back. See, here da crack right here.”

……………..WHAT?!?!?! It amazes me that people can be so stupid. And before anyone criticizes me for being prejudiced or anything … THAT WAS A WHITE GUY IN MASSACHUSETTS!

I would like to say they are just people acting to be on TV like on Springer, but COPS is actually one of the only shows that is “Reality” television.

The stupidity does not limit itself to the weekly law enforcement roundup. We all know people that you feel should accidentally fall from the sky deck ledge at Willis Tower. Go ahead, take a moment to think of who they are. I will enjoy a churro while you come up with your list.

That was fun wasn’t it? I bet you came up with FAR more names than you expected to. I certainly do not want to wish anyone ill will, after all that is just mean. But, would the world REALLY suffer a great loss if we didn’t have a Lindsey Lohan line of fashion?

The problem is that these people aren’t stupid once. They constantly defy logic on a daily basis and don’t realize they are doing anything wrong. They go about their everyday lives thinking that they are brilliant for letting their children ride on the top of the van in a cardboard box knowing it is safe because they attached it with a coat hanger.


I think we need a reality show somehow linked to the Darwin Awards. Where people are truly eliminated when they do not win the challenge of the day.

Stupid people should have ugly babies and name them Karma. That really doesn’t fit into anything I have written but I heard a derivation of that today and I think it is funny as all get out.

As you can tell, today’s blog was really nothing of great importance as I rambled on. So, until next time, I am going to go read about the ig Nobel winners, get myself a gas mask bra, and relax with a cold beer and a churro.

Until next time, remember that it is cold and flu season so get your pets spayed or neutered.

%d bloggers like this: