Voicesinmybrain

Weeeeeeeeeee

Bob — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 04:12:52 +0000

Tori has a new favorite commercial. She screams “weeeeeeeee piggy” and claps whenever it is on. I personally find it annoying, the commercial, not Tori. Geico has had some good commercials and some bad. I consider this to be bad. Tori thinks it is the greatest though so that is ok. And the commercial just came on as I am typing this. Ugh! Pure adrenaline my ass.

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

I Wish …

Bob — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 03:34:26 +0000

I wish that good news, stayed good news.

I wish that I had a job that I loved so much that I hated to leave.

I wish that I didn’t feel overwhelmed lately

I wish that I could get a good night sleep

I wish tomorrow brings a better day

I wish for a million dollars

I wish Juan Luis Pedro Philippo DeHuevos Epstein did not die today

I wish I had more to write about

That’s A Lot

Bob — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 21:17:23 +0000

Yesterday’s post, was post number 500. As of writing this, I have had 28,622 views total. My best single day was 756 views. These numbers do not include email subscribers as far as I can tell. My first post was on 6/29/2009. Last year I blogged almost every single day (missed one) and have kept it going this year so far.

When I look back on all those stats, it is no wonder why I get stymied some days trying to come up with something. I am afraid that I will copy myself. That’s ok, I won’t sue. That means that I have thought up close to 500 different topics to write about over the years. That doesn’t SOUND all that daunting but, it is. At least for me. I am proud of myself. It makes the aches and pains I have, the long nights with the baby or the dog, etc. fade away from memory.

I wish I was watching tv right now. It would give me something to watch and distract me and my blog would be weirder.

The State Of The Blog Address

Bob — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 03:26:09 +0000

I was considering making my own goof ball version of every comment during the president’s address tonight. Then I realized I really didn’t want to watch the whole thing as I could get the important parts in the news or the paper tomorrow. I want to know what is going on, but I don’t want to watch the whole political speech. BTW, Hillary looks like hell.

Back to what I was saying. The state of the blog is … Illinois. That is about all I got. It’s been a rough couple of weeks with Piper’s feet, my shoulder, Tori teething MORE, Tori having a cold AGAIN, Jakie getting Tori’s cold, lack of sleep because of the above and my general lack of ideas and creativity. So, lately this has been a “this is my day” kind of blog … only not that funny.

I am sorry that I have been flooding with boring items as of late. I am really trying to post every day for as long as I can until the new little guy comes. I know I still owe pictures. Tomorrow. I promise. Piper had a follow up appt tonight so running around i am bushed. She is healing nicely btw.

If you want some really, really funny stuff to read while you are waiting for me to be funny again, I highly recommend WhatImeant2say. I have mentioned her blog before. I read lots of blogs, and there are a lot of funny ones out there, but (and no offense to anyone out there) both Mrs. Voices and myself look forward for our email to go off every day for these posts. I literally laugh out loud on damn near every post. I have not been compensated in any way for the endorsement of this blog. (I think I have to say that legally or something)

If you don’t like reading, then how about shopping. There is a great site for Hawaiian shirts. I have also mentioned them before as well, Bad Shirts Good Times. Go there, buy a shirt, tell them I sent you, see if it gets you anywhere. It won’t by the way.

There, I have went from the state of the blog to being a commercial. I love typing when I am doing other things and totally go off topic. Maybe that is what I should do for a while. Hmmmmmmmmm.

In The Headlines

Bob — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 03:12:27 +0000

I have said it before, and I will say it again … Sometimes I look at the world and I cry. There are some things in the news that just make me read it and think “what?!” Here are some examples …

• Jay Cutler and Kristin Cavallari, re-engaged again, are having a baby. Feel free to insert your favorite joke here. I still have odds on that they won’t make it work.

• Tracy Morgan was admitted to the hospital. He was not drinking in the high altitude. He just got a little sleepy. Uh huh.

• The victims of the Italian cruise ship disaster, are getting 30% off vouchers for their next cruise. Yeah, THAT will work.

• Seal and Heidi Klum broke up. Sources say this will help Seal’s career. I like Seal as much as the next person but I was not aware that wither of them still had careers to help.

• The sun is blowing up and the earth is going to get microwaved tomorrow or something.

• I am still overly tired and not coming up with things that are too interesting. Although, I did find what I think is an amusing as hell picture.

Naked Pictures!

Bob — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 02:43:29 +0000

I don’t really have any, and you should all be thankful for that. I just figured this would be the best way to get you to pay attention with football and American Idol and all.

Just showing up to say hi and to keep the posts going. Tori has been a terror today and my shoulder is really messed up. I hope orthopedists give a volume discount. Basically, I can’t type so well tonight so just a quick hello and I am going to go back to watching Food Network.

And to those curious, Tori is feeling better, Piper is on the mend and I am just falling apart.

What A Day

Bob — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 03:37:04 +0000

Some days are great! Some days just suck. Some days are today. It wasn’t a bad day and it wasn’t a great day. I let Piper sleep by herself last night while I went back upstairs and slept in our bed. Piper is doing ok with the cone so I figured I could trust her downstairs. Plus, I really needed to sleep. I still had to wake up early to give Piper her meds and walk her. After that, I got up and snow blowed the driveway and a big patch on the front lawn for Piper to potty without walking through a foot of snow. Yes, I used the snow blower on the lawn.

After that, we went to get a 3D ultrasound of the newest little voice that will be coming in March. We confirmed that yes, he is indeed a he. We were pointed out the “scrotal sack and penis”. Very professional, no euphemisms, which made it even a little funnier. We did get pictures and a CD and DVD so as soon as I have a chance to pull a pic or 2 off the cd, I will get one on here.

While we were out, Tori was fussy as all heck. She didn’t eat a lot this morning and she has a slight fever. She wasn’t feeling very well. We got home but couldn’t get her to sleep because we had to have Piper’s bandages changed and a follow visit that got cancelled last night. I know, this isn’t sounding so much like a bad day yet but, I am getting there.

Piper did fine, Tori finally got a nap. So did Jackie and I, for about 30 min anyway. It came time to get up and get Tori and Piper dinner. Tori still wasn’t eating much but Piper’s appetite is back to normal. She scarfed down her food and water and then went by the front door for our little yard walk. Tori was in the living room with Jackie cuddling and being cute.

I need to put baggies on Piper’s feet so that the snow doesn’t get her bandages wet. (I know, I know … I am getting there) so I was kind of busy when Jackie called from the living room that Tori just got sick on her. I was in the middle of taping myself to Piper’s feet when I heard this so I called that I couldn’t get there at the moment. Jackie was fine with this at the time. As this was happening, Piper decided that as I had my head under her so I could cover the leg that she wasn’t turning to me to get, to let one loose in my face. Oh yeah, did I mention that she was having a little issue with leakage from the anesthetic? So yeah, not really sure how to put this delicately … I got a nice juicy dog fart on my forehead … with a little splatter. I told you it couldn’t be delicate. I asked Jackie if it made her feel better that that happened to me. She laughed hysterically. I think it made her feel better.

Things got better after I washed, sanitized, boiled my face …we ordered a pizza, gave Tori a bath and then this. Hopefully, tomorrow will be better.

A Friday Night Quicky

Bob — Sat, 21 Jan 2012 00:13:06 +0000

• It’s snowing. I am not going to snow blow tonight because it is still snowing. I will do it tomorrow.

• Piper’s follow up appointment got cancelled because of the snow. She pulled her bandage off this morning so I had to wrap it myself. Tomorrow is the vet now.

• Need to finish emptying the baby room to make it a new baby room.

• Need to figure out what is for dinner

• The meds Piper is on make her poop a little when she is home alone. Yeah, the house smells like you might expect when we first get home.

• That’s all. Have a good night.

Who Is The Master?

Bob — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 17:23:14 +0000

As some of you know, our American Bulldog Piper, had a tumor on each of her back paws. Yesterday she had them removed. She has her feet bandaged and has to be very careful because the stitches are tight due to the size of the tumors, not a lot of skin to close with, etc. etc. Last night we coddled Piper as much as we could. We have to keep her downstairs so we helped her up on the couch and she slept most of the evening. Not sure if it was the drugs or she just had a long day, but poor piper looked stoned.

When it came time to go to bed for us, we determined that we were nervous about leaving Piper alone to chew her bandages off. So, I stayed downstairs and the plan was to sleep on the floor with the dog. The dog had other ideas.

After about 5 min., Piper decided she had enough of this floor nonsense and hobbled up over me and onto the couch. She somehow grabbed a pillow and put it on top of her paws and rested her chin on it. This is how she stayed the rest of the night. I stayed on the floor, sleeping more or less at HER feet, like a good master should.

She stirred a few times during the night making me think she might be licking or chewing so I kept waking up to check. She wasn’t. She was only shifting and went right back to snoring. My phone alarm went off this morning and I woke up. She was still sleeping peacefully. I once again dutifully got up, got her food, water and saran wrapped her bandaged feet so she could go outside so I could pick up after her.

It’s true. If aliens are looking down on us, they really will be confused as to who actually runs this planet.

So, with all of the SOPA, PIPA and whatever else is going on, I took a look at some of my posts and realize that I plagiarize a LOT. Mostly myself but, I do lift a lot of stuff from places. Not maliciously or anything like that. I don’t make money off of it. My question is though, if any of this passes, do I have to shut myself down if I complain to myself without due process of my own complaints? I thought of this this morning on my way into work. Then I heard Jon Stewart kind of did the same thing last night. Before I can get shut down … enjoy the clip of copyrighted material at the link below. If you don’t hear from me in the next few days, then we know SOPA passed. (sorry for it being a link, I don’t have time today to figure out how to embed in free WordPress again! One of these days I need to switch to self hosting … but anyhoo…)

http://media.mtvnservices.com/mgid:cms:video:thedailyshow.com:406251

Not Today

Bob — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 19:26:55 +0000